How can I tell someone they should go to the hygienist because their teeth are dirty

[MeganM3]

There is someone in my life who I am very close to and really don’t want to hurt their feeling. But their teeth are very dirty, deep brown marks in between every tooth, very visible thick plax and I have noticed a bad smell too.
I leant in for a cuddle yesterday and actually had to let go and move back because of the smell. Similarly today when chatting over a meal I found it turned my stomach while I was trying to eat and enjoy the meal we had prepared together.
They are mid 30s and otherwise reasonably healthy.
What can I do?

Tell them poor dental hygiene can cause dementia (apparently true). Do they really want that for the sake of some basic hygiene?

Dentists are so expensive that I rarely go but I do make sure my teeth are not offensive to other people. There are things in Boots to aid dental hygiene. If it’s your dh then be blunt, no need pussyfooting about.

They should at least get a professional clean!

People know they have halitosis?

If u close enough to lean in and have a cuddle you close enough to say I’m worried about your teeth ?
say you’ve read about a ton of research that shows poor dental health is linked to increased heart disease -

this is true and makes the cost / inaccessibility of dental care to many even more of a shockingly bad situation

OP also talked about dirty teeth. Though it isn't difficult to know that dirty teeth = bad breath.

Say I am booked in at the hygienist do you want me to book you in; you need to get your turkey teeth in order mate…dunno…make a joke at the same time..lighten it up so it’s not seen as an insult

You can only ever say it once - or it will be rude.
Then utterly forget about it and move on.

Something like ... Netty, I see you have Parsley stuck in your tooth. Have a proper look when you get home near a mirror..

You might be able to compliment her teeth and at the same time say how it's time to give them a good clean - they are so valuable and vital to you, Nettie.

perhaps they are extremely anxious re visiting the dentist?

Most people are. Someone telling them honestly how bad their breath is may be just the push they need to face their fear.

£90 here in Dorset for a hygienist session and this is at an NHS dental practice.

A basic scale and polish is included under NHS Band 1 charge (£27.40 ).

Anything more in the way of plaque removal is charged at NHS Band 2 (£75.30).

Hygienist sessions, which had not been available at this practice for some years, are currently being offered privately and carried out by the dental technician (who is doing check ups and some dental procedures). A hygienist session with the technician is charged at £90 (with a £45 deposit paid prior to the appointment).

This is a small dental practice operating with just one qualified dentist and more recently, a dental technician.

I’ve been going to hygienist a lot lately and now I’ve ran out of money. Teeth still not fixed and I also need a root canal. Private dental costs are crippling me and in the mean time I’m chowing down on lots of minty chewing gum but realise it doesn’t fix things.

Can you mention it gently? It’s likely they already know but don’t know how bad it is. I know how bad my problems are, I just don’t have the funds to fix them and am on four different nhs waiting lists (but on all of them I’m over 200 in the queue).

I’ve only ever been to a dental hygienist once. I just brush my teeth regularly.

I don’t think there’s any way you can say it without sounding awful. They are going to be offended or upset however you word it. Maybe just don’t.

I have never been to a hygienist, however i see my NHS dentist every 6 months religiously, he does my scale and polish, tells me i have lovely teeth, in and out, done in minutes. Maybe next time you go suggest they come with you and you can broach the subject about booking an appointment for them while you are there.

Not your place to say anything imho. Their teeth, their business and tbh pretty shallow thing to be fixating on. If they don’t want to do anything, it’s really not your concern. Accept them as they are.

Dear god, this is why the British are famed for having terrible teeth. I’m going against the trend and saying YOU MUST TELL HIM. To the PP saying “but he know already”, I very much doubt it. You don’t tend to see your teeth when you are looking in the mirror to brush your hair or check you don’t have shaving cream in your ears. I’d just say “Fred, I feel really awkward mentioning it, but you need to see the dentist and hygienist, as your teeth aren’t looking or smelling the way they ought to”.

It is your place if your relationship is such that you can ‘lean in for a cuddle’.

There’s nothing shallow about not wanting your (I assume) partner to have the mouth hygiene of a hedgehog’s underbelly!

Many dentists won't allow you to book in with a hygienist unless you've had a recent check up so it's not a simple as just getting them cleaned. I suspect they know their teeth are dodgy and are scared of going. I once left it 4 years between dentist visits and was absolutely terrified of going back. I learnt my lesson and now go every 6 months.

"dental therapist" - not "dental technician".

I pay £185 every 6 months for dental check up and 20min hygenist at a private dental surgery. I consider under £400 a year good value to ensure I can keep my teeth healthy. I had to have an implant so need to have excellent oral hygiene.
I think you need to be honest with the person. It's not that hard to tell them their breath is smelly and it's putting you off and they should go to the dentist to get the visible tartar removed. No point dropping subtle hints.
Presumably if they had BO you'd tell them? Same thing.

While regular brushing, flossing, use of interdental brushes and limiting snacks and sugary drinks all help, some people are genetically more susceptible to forming plaque and tartar as are people with jaw disorders where the patient cannot open their mouth easily to brush well, or who have problems with production of saliva, people who are undergoing or who have undergone radiotherapy etc.

You can't tell anyone except your child that they 'should' go to the hygenist.
You can say something like 'Are your teeth OK? They look quite brown in places. When did you last see a dentist?'
Whatever the answer you could continue:, 'Honestly, I think you need to make an appointment quite urgently. Rotten teeth can lead to all kinds of health problems and, gorgeous though you are in every other way, they don't look that nice.'

I remember an ad on Gibraltar radio re dental care. It was blunt as hell & went something like this

"Eugh, when was the last time you went to a dentist?"
"I haven't been for a long time as I can't find one."
"Yeah, I can tell."

I told someone recently that their teeth were stained. "I said I really hope you don't mind me saying that your teeth are stained, as I'm not sure you realise.". I thought I should let them know, as it was unlike them to appear this way. They said they hadn't noticed, were grateful and we didn't fall out over it.

I'd prefer to be told.

I would find the right moment and just tell them.

I really like you but there is one thing that's really getting to me and I'm finding it a turnoff ....

At my NHS dentist the hygienist is only private I had to pay £109. a couple of weeks ago.