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Relationships

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Original poster

Would you ever give up a HA house to move in with partner?

47 replies

Anotherusername13 · 05/07/2025 16:08

I've been with my partner for a year, he's renting and wanting to buy somewhere. I live in a 2 bed HA house with my daughter and we are happy here. He has mentioned in the future that he would like to live abroad somewhere warm when he is retired.
I know it's a long way away and we may not last that long but it got me thinking about our future and I realized I couldn't ever move abroad with him because I have my HA house and I'm obviously not allowed to just have it vacant whilst I live abroad.
I also don't want to give up my home to buy somewhere with him down the line either as this would also mean moving in with him and giving up my home.
What do people in HA properties do in relationships, do they just have the partner move in with them? As obviously they would lose their home if they move into their partners home.

OP posts:

Rainbowqueeen · 05/07/2025 16:14

I would be financially smart about it. So I would want my name on the deeds and to be married.

Having a HA wouldn’t stop me as long as my partner was willing to make sure I was financially protected. If they weren’t I would end the relationship

PolyVagalNerve · 05/07/2025 16:16

Don’t give up your HA home …
especially if it is a decent !
#golddust !

Original poster

Anotherusername13 · 05/07/2025 16:18

It's a new build house and I have nice neighbours on both sides

OP posts:

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 05/07/2025 16:21

If you don’t need your HA home it should go to someone who does. There is a housing shortage.

cloudyblueglass · 05/07/2025 16:21

No moving into a home unless your name was on the deeds and you were married

You’ve got a daughter - it may be all hearts and flowers now but when relationships break down things often get nasty. Don’t make yourself vulnerable.

Cattery · 05/07/2025 16:27

We have a HA neighbour near us. She leaves the house empty because she lives at her boyfriend’s place. Until she gives up her tenancy it’s hers for life whether she lives in it or not. If it’s an assured tenancy she doesn’t have to live in it. Work that one out.

civetcat · 05/07/2025 16:28

Don't give up your HA home – you've made it clear you don't want to give it up even 'down the line'. You've only been with your partner for a year and both you and your daughter are happy there.
Some years ago, I had a partner who from our first year together was very, very keen on me giving up my council tenancy and moving in with him. I refused as the council tenancy was my main security, and that if we were meant to be together forever, he could wait a few years. Just over four years later, we split up, and I still had a home.
You can also have a long-term relationship (>20 years now) without moving in together.

gamerchick · 05/07/2025 16:29

Not after a year, absolutely not. There's no rush and you don't really have to live together at all.

DeltaAlphaDelta79 · 05/07/2025 16:32

Cattery · 05/07/2025 16:27

Her HA could evict her for abandonment

Abandonment

But HAs can be very hit and miss as to how strongly they deal with it.

Abandonment of a social tenancy | Housing Rights

https://www.housingrights.org.uk/housing-advice/eviction/abandonment-social-tenancy

Happyher · 05/07/2025 16:34

Cattery · 05/07/2025 16:27

When i worked in council housing management there was a tenancy condition that the property must be used as your ‘sole and principal home’ and would be grounds for possession if it could be proved. I would imagine HA properties contain a similar clause.
Proving it is difficult but not impossible. Facebook is usually the best place to start

Cattery · 05/07/2025 16:34

I was told there is no action the HA can take until she relinquishes her tenancy ie gives notice to move on but yes, some HAs may operate differently

Cattery · 05/07/2025 16:36

Well if they contacted her all she’d have to say is that she’s still living there 🤷‍♀️

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 05/07/2025 16:39

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 05/07/2025 16:21

If you don’t need your HA home it should go to someone who does. There is a housing shortage.

She does need it

SaturdayDream · 05/07/2025 16:40

You would be very irresponsible to leave a secure home for a man when you have a child.

There was a post on here where a women did this and then she instantly regretted it and had nowhere to turn to.

Don’t do it and put your child’s security over a man.

FortyElephants · 05/07/2025 16:40

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 05/07/2025 16:21

If you don’t need your HA home it should go to someone who does. There is a housing shortage.

Obviously she needs it, it's where she lives 🙄

FortyElephants · 05/07/2025 16:42

If your housing association rent is significantly lower than market private rents then you should use the opportunity to save like crazy and when the time comes (if you want to) you can buy a place with your partner and accumulate equity, as long as you know you can house yourself if the relationship breaks down and you have to sell. Otherwise it means you move him in or you stay living separately 🤷🏼‍♀️

DiaryofWimpy · 05/07/2025 16:43

Keep your HA house and if it lasts he could move in with you

PashaMinaMio · 05/07/2025 16:43

Do not give up your HA home. It’s the roof over your head and your long term security. What’s the rush?

You have no idea how life is going to pan out with your chap. It’s early days. Do not get pregnant by him either.

Just tread water for a while longer. See how it goes and what he brings to the party.

Protect your child from the “worst case” scenario until your relationship is embedded and the first flush of hearts and flowers has become hum-drum. Then see how you feel. You might tell a different story!

Cheeseplantandcrackers · 05/07/2025 16:44

After one year I wouldn’t even be thinking about any of this.

bestcatlife · 05/07/2025 16:44

No. Never.

bestcatlife · 05/07/2025 16:45

HA is a gift, especially if it's in a nice area. Unless you can buy, don't give it up ever.

JohnTheRevelator · 05/07/2025 16:59

Absolutely no way. Once you give up the HA property you have practically zero chance of getting another one (unless you have dependents, and even then, there'll be a long wait) if the relationship didn't work out and you ended up having to move out.

OvaHere · 05/07/2025 17:06

I did this 25 years ago. Lived in a lovely new build HA with DD. We purchased a property together and got married. I handed the keys back to the HA about 2 weeks after our wedding. It was hard to give up even though ultimately it worked out. We're still married and have other children.

You don't say how old you are. I was very young, had a whole life to live and still didn't give it up until all the firm commitments were in place.

If you're a lot older than I was, have been married in the past, not planning to have more kids etc. it might be better to keep the HA tenancy at least until your DD is an adult.

It worked out for me but I can see a lots of situations (and men) it wouldn't work with.

MaryGreenhill · 05/07/2025 17:14

No way .

littleweedandherflowers · 05/07/2025 17:17

No never again !!!! I did and I’m fucked because of it ! X

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