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Original poster

How to feel ok having sex in an ageing body

53 replies

RedTreeLeaf · 03/07/2025 17:33

I read an article last night about having sex over 60 - https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2025/jul/02/sex-after-60 - and it made me think about my own attitude to sex as I age.

I'm in my early 50s, and know I still look good outwardly (in clothes or a swimsuit), I'm slim and reasonably attractive. BUT when the clothes come off my boobs are loose and low hanging and my belly skin is wrinkly (I lost a lot of weight). My bum isn't firm. I'm getting a little loose skin around the neck.

My attitudes to sex are heavily shaped by society and culture, which put so much value on bodily perfection and youth. I feel like sex is for young beautiful people, not for old wrinklies like me! But then I read the article and thought maybe I'm missing out.

My DH and I have drifted away from having sex (a combination of not feeling hugely attracted to him, nor feeling attractive myself), but I could get it started again.

But how can I shift my attitude from 'sex is for the young and perfect' and feel ok and comfortable having sex as a wrinkly, saggy person?!

‘Shar pei sex’, swinging, and 10 orgasms in an afternoon: This is sex after 60

‘Many older couples find greater satisfaction than when they were younger,’ says the National Institute on Aging

https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2025/jul/02/sex-after-60

OP posts:
Oldbutstillhorny · 10/09/2025 21:07

In my late 80s still thinking a lot about sex, with no meets in the last 2 years with an enthusiastic lady, 80s, on a cruise. Fabswingers didn’t produce any meets. Am widowed and despairing! Like many, my body isn’t exactly a thing of beauty and I can’t get hard even with Viagra. But I know I can give pleasure even without piv particularly with fingers and oral. Many out there in the same boat? Ideas and advice welcome.

justasking111 · 10/09/2025 21:16

@RedTreeLeaf says in first post she's not attracted to her husband so would she want to if her body was perfect?

I'd say do the gym, Pilates, yoga Etc. but for herself.

I'm waiting for two new hips, walking with two sticks. First operation next month. Having lost so much mobility I just want to get going again. I miss playing with grandchildren, swimming, I'm going to get an ebike. I'm doing all this for me.

Snippit · 10/09/2025 21:40

itsmeafterall · 03/07/2025 20:39

Blimey. My testosterone gel makes sure that I still have desire and my HRT make sure my body can accommodate. My mind lets me fantasise about how wonderful it feels and how much I love him so it all works.

We are not 25 any more. But we have grown up together. We have aged together and we love each other with a passion that's less fiery in the flesh but as strong in the mind. And for women in the mind is hugely important.

Yes we are baggier. Yes we are less toned but close your eyes and it's the same as it ever was. And eyes never lose their fire. 🔥

I’m the same, love my testosterone gel and at 58 know my bits aren’t the same and hubby no longer has a 6 pack, now replaced with a dad bod 😝. But we still enjoy getting jiggy with it, some positions are no longer possible due to aches and pains, but still try to have fun. It’s not just for the young, I love the fact that I don’t have to worry about getting pregnant anymore, bliss 🤗

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