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I was emotionally abused and it was me that got punished for giving her a mouthful

12 replies

Carlos31 · 30/06/2025 20:04

I met my kids mom on a dating app called tagged. She tells people that we met at a Christmas party.From this alone I knew it was over. My concern was that the kids would ask one day and what are you going to lie to them too. Anyhow, after hearing that she falsely accused her kids dad of sexual and physical assault. She was at it again with a work colleague. I was in court with her this time and seen that another 4 woman accused this guy of sexual assault and it was only my kids mom that called a liar. She even had a therapist there to back her claims to the mom my kids mom was the only one that got called a liar by a judge. This was the 2nd factor to me to say I can't love this woman and told her I don't love you. She cried and started pulling up hair out and started smacking her head saying how comes no one loves me. I told her that you are not stable enough to look after our new born and went to her parents house as I sat for a couple of hours with my head in my hands thinking what to do. Her parents new something was wrong for me to have a new born with me as my body language spoke for itself. They asked but I didn't say anything. I new she needed help so I decided to stay and a greedy to co parent our child. Clearly, she needed help as I was in over my head. For the next few weeks things got better offering me sex to the point I send that you have a higher sex drive than me. This was her play to get pregnant again so it would make it harder for me to leave when I was ready. In this time she got pregnant twice and I asked for an abortion but for the third child she didn't tell till she was 6 months pregnant. Not I love my children to her but I didn't love her. So, we had to kids that were born in the same year. In Jan 2021 I left her for over a month to me get an email asking me to unblock her because she had something important to tell me so I did. She said her dad had skin cancer and knowing the type of guy I am. I went to help her because she was my kids mom. I asked questions like does her daughter know and she said no and that's when I knew it was a lie. I couldn't just leave because of the love for my kids so we co parented again with out the sex because of the last time. Clearly I was being emotionally abused. The co parenting went south to the point that my son who is autistic cried all day in school and when the asked he said that he's never going to see his daddy again. The teacher asked is everything okay at home and she said yes. At this time I got custody of my 3 kids from a previous relationship. I told her that I need to focus on my 3 and as long as we are okay. Our 2 kids will be fine as I will still be in there lives. She didn't get it and wanted me there permanently, knowing what my kids have been through. Anyhow a few months later I told her that I met someone and put the phone down on her. She called back and said I thought we would of got married and declared her love for me but wasn't interested. She started of a good relationship with a lie. After me and my 3 kids were settled and had a routine, I contacted her to have the 2 kids to me for a night or just for a couple of hours. She refused, so I said your eldest daughter that I was around for 8 years. You took her to her dad's when she was 2. She couldn't talk but you took her to the guy you accused of rape and sexual assault. My argument was my kids are 5 and 6 and can talk and all I done was verbals after the trauma you put me through. Anyhow she took the messages to the police and it was me that got done for stalking from the Manchester police. I was badly advised and had 4 solicitors from 2 different firms for this case and now it's me who's life she has destroyed. I worked as personal trainer for over 12 years and had no trouble to the point that I had females wanting to work with me because I was a good professional. Now I can't even do that. I'm in my mid 40s and seen all these jobs go by from being a professional football coach to a physio assistant. I'm so depressed that it's affected my mental health
As I have highs and lows daily because of it. I met a woman a couple of weeks ago and I wanted to tell hell via a call but she was busy with her kids. Her friend put my picture on fb asking about me and got some great feedback to the point that the lady said you must feel good after seeing them comments. 2 hours later she sent me a screenshot of someone saying that I lie and that I come across as a good guy but I'm dangerous. As soon as seen the question on how did we meet. I new it was her my kids mom. To ask those questions I knew because the women I have dated I I tell them about my conviction but didn't get chance to tell this lady. She blocked me. In the 72 hours from meeting her we built a friendship but then blocked me because she seen that I was on Claire list. I was gutted as I really liked this lady as she seen me for me no colour no nothing just me. I knew she was the one for me. I told my kids mom about her and her words were that she's not for you if she can't give a chance to explain. Even if she had the police onside watching how the relationship would go. I'm still gutted now because I haven't met anyone like her. The thing is I have evidence to clear my name and as my kids mom that I had 2 kids to had a past of getting ex partners in to trouble when things don't go her way. The thing is an officer came to my cell and said that the CPS can't find anything so he's going to see if an officer can change in which they did. When I complained about the guy that dealt with the complaints was the same officer that signed the paperwork for my house to get raided. The same officer stated that because of how serious the offense was that it should of been the CPS to charge me. If the police done an investigation they would of seen that called the police on her in 2021 and have the log number. She said that I was following her in September 23 and if anyone that knows me knows that I don't do that. Id rather of challenged on my rights as a dad. Anyhow I had a crash at this time and called the police. The officer that came asked who I was speaking to and spoke to the lady who stated we have been dating for a month now. This was also evidence that don't get used. The police really done a dirty on and messed up my career. Now I train my son who plays as junior professional and watching my good work grow. I have been told that I need to get in challenged and overturned before I can move on and done have the finances to do so
By time I don't I may not have no fight left.

OP posts:
Littlefish · 30/06/2025 20:10

Please re-post this, broken up into paragraphs. It’s really hard to read like this.

Carlos31 · 30/06/2025 20:12

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I was emotionally abused and it was me that got punished for giving her a mouthful
1 reply

Carlos31 · Today 20:04
I met my kids mom on a dating app called tagged. She tells people that we met at a Christmas party.From this alone I knew it was over. My concern was that the kids would ask one day and what are you going to lie to them too. Anyhow, after hearing that she falsely accused her kids dad of sexual and physical assault. She was at it again with a work colleague. I was in court with her this time and seen that another 4 woman accused this guy of sexual assault and it was only my kids mom that called a liar. She even had a therapist there to back her claims to the mom my kids mom was the only one that got called a liar by a judge. This was the 2nd factor to me to say I can't love this woman and told her I don't love you. She cried and started pulling up hair out and started smacking her head saying how comes no one loves me. I told her that you are not stable enough to look after our new born and went to her parents house as I sat for a couple of hours with my head in my hands thinking what to do. Her parents new something was wrong for me to have a new born with me as my body language spoke for itself. They asked but I didn't say anything. I new she needed help so I decided to stay and a greedy to co parent our child. Clearly, she needed help as I was in over my head. For the next few weeks things got better offering me sex to the point I send that you have a higher sex drive than me. This was her play to get pregnant again so it would make it harder for me to leave when I was ready. In this time she got pregnant twice and I asked for an abortion but for the third child she didn't tell till she was 6 months pregnant. Not I love my children to her but I didn't love her. So, we had to kids that were born in the same year. In Jan 2021 I left her for over a month to me get an email asking me to unblock her because she had something important to tell me so I did. She said her dad had skin cancer and knowing the type of guy I am. I went to help her because she was my kids mom. I asked questions like does her daughter know and she said no and that's when I knew it was a lie. I couldn't just leave because of the love for my kids so we co parented again with out the sex because of the last time. Clearly I was being emotionally abused. The co parenting went south to the point that my son who is autistic cried all day in school and when the asked he said that he's never going to see his daddy again. The teacher asked is everything okay at home and she said yes. At this time I got custody of my 3 kids from a previous relationship. I told her that I need to focus on my 3 and as long as we are okay. Our 2 kids will be fine as I will still be in there lives. She didn't get it and wanted me there permanently, knowing what my kids have been through. Anyhow a few months later I told her that I met someone and put the phone down on her. She called back and said I thought we would of got married and declared her love for me but wasn't interested. She started of a good relationship with a lie. After me and my 3 kids were settled and had a routine, I contacted her to have the 2 kids to me for a night or just for a couple of hours. She refused, so I said your eldest daughter that I was around for 8 years. You took her to her dad's when she was 2. She couldn't talk but you took her to the guy you accused of rape and sexual assault. My argument was my kids are 5 and 6 and can talk and all I done was verbals after the trauma you put me through. Anyhow she took the messages to the police and it was me that got done for stalking from the Manchester police. I was badly advised and had 4 solicitors from 2 different firms for this case and now it's me who's life she has destroyed. I worked as personal trainer for over 12 years and had no trouble to the point that I had females wanting to work with me because I was a good professional. Now I can't even do that. I'm in my mid 40s and seen all these jobs go by from being a professional football coach to a physio assistant. I'm so depressed that it's affected my mental health
As I have highs and lows daily because of it. I met a woman a couple of weeks ago and I wanted to tell hell via a call but she was busy with her kids. Her friend put my picture on fb asking about me and got some great feedback to the point that the lady said you must feel good after seeing them comments. 2 hours later she sent me a screenshot of someone saying that I lie and that I come across as a good guy but I'm dangerous. As soon as seen the question on how did we meet. I new it was her my kids mom. To ask those questions I knew because the women I have dated I I tell them about my conviction but didn't get chance to tell this lady. She blocked me. In the 72 hours from meeting her we built a friendship but then blocked me because she seen that I was on Claire list. I was gutted as I really liked this lady as she seen me for me no colour no nothing just me. I knew she was the one for me. I told my kids mom about her and her words were that she's not for you if she can't give a chance to explain. Even if she had the police onside watching how the relationship would go. I'm still gutted now because I haven't met anyone like her. The thing is I have evidence to clear my name and as my kids mom that I had 2 kids to had a past of getting ex partners in to trouble when things don't go her way. The thing is an officer came to my cell and said that the CPS can't find anything so he's going to see if an officer can change in which they did. When I complained about the guy that dealt with the complaints was the same officer that signed the paperwork for my house to get raided. The same officer stated that because of how serious the offense was that it should of been the CPS to charge me. If the police done an investigation they would of seen that called the police on her in 2021 and have the log number. She said that I was following her in September 23 and if anyone that knows me knows that I don't do that. Id rather of challenged on my rights as a dad. Anyhow I had a crash at this time and called the police. The officer that came asked who I was speaking to and spoke to the lady who stated we have been dating for a month now. This was also evidence that don't get used. The police really done a dirty on and messed up my career. Now I train my son who plays as junior professional and watching my good work grow. I have been told that I need to get in challenged and overturned before I can move on and done have the finances to do so
By time I don't I may not have no fight left.

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OP posts:
Carlos31 · 30/06/2025 20:16

Just reposted again.

OP posts:
20thCenturyFecks · 30/06/2025 20:19

? What's your AIBU, you sound like a bit of a basket care who makes bad decisions.

gamerchick · 30/06/2025 20:23

Fucking hell.

Have you thought about condoms OP?

gamerchick · 30/06/2025 20:26

You weren't asked to repost. You were asked to put in paragraphs so it's readable.

Carlos31 · 30/06/2025 20:28

We are human and we are all prone to making bad decisions.

Isn't life about learning from your mistakes

OP posts:
Carlos31 · 30/06/2025 20:31

I not tech savvy and just about know how to use my phone. As that's all I use it for.

OP posts:
InvitingMattress · 30/06/2025 20:32

It’s not clear what you’re asking, OP, but as far as I can tell, you have children you’re incapable of looking after, a conviction for DV and a terrible relationships record. Just keep away from women, have therapy and use condoms.

HelloGreen · 30/06/2025 20:34

It sounds like you’ve had a lot going on in your life.

You’re not going to get good answers from here, people are just going to pick apart your grammar etc instead. I seriously suggest you ask your GP for therapy if you haven’t already - you need to unpick what’s happened and process it.

SleeplessInWherever · 30/06/2025 20:38

I’ve read that twice now and still don’t get it.

How did you get convicted of stalking if there’s no evidence that you did stalk her? Surely there must be.

Why would you only have wanted to see your 3 children from a previous relationship and not your 2 with her?

Why is someone’s friend putting photos of you on the internet, are they teenagers? Who even engages with that sort of petty and ridiculous behaviour.

I understand it’s affecting your ability to work, presumably because you can’t get through a DBS check; but criminal convictions don’t just happen.

Maybe for now… get help, and don’t have any more children until you have.

INeedAnotherName · 30/06/2025 22:20

I was badly advised and had 4 solicitors from 2 different firms for this case and now it's me who's life she has destroyed

You can't blame anyone for the above except yourself. That must have been one hell of a case to have all that support and still lose. And I agree with pp, start using a bloody condom.

Edit - because she seen that I was on Claire list.
Oh fucking hell...

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