AIBU - could be pregnant and blaming husband

[Bella6761]

So after having my 2nd baby 8 months ago I was advised not to have any more kids because my womb lining is extremely thin, I was seconds away from rupturing and I had issues with my bladder during the section because of adhesions.. anyway I asked my husband to get the snip which he was dead set against we argued baxk
and forth but ultimately I can’t force him. And anyways I said to him don’t go in without a condom at all, because normally what we’ve always done is go in for a bit and then he puts a condom on nearer the time he’s going to cum and tbf we’ve never had issues he’s got quite good control. He assured me he will always pull out. So we had sex few days ago and he’s cum inside me, and said he didn’t realise he’d forgotten that he isn’t meant
to?!
now I’m sat here deciding between an IUD which is apparently more risky for me because of my thin lining, or waiting it out and potentially having an abortion. I did take the MAP, but I am in the middle of my cycle.
AIBU to be completely pissed off at him, I’m blaming him and he’s saying it’s not his fault apparently. Why do women have to suffer at the hands of men’s stupidity honestly.
anyways I hope I’m not pregnant guys pray for me, anyone wanting to conceive I’m sending prayers your way ❤️❤️❤️
I would have loved to have been if it wasn’t for my health 😭

You can go round in circles apportioning blame but it’s not going to help or change the situation
tbh it’s human nature to blame someone else

focus on what to do going forward you possibly have some big choices coming up
bow isn’t the time to be falling out

I HAD spoken to him after baby2 saying I want him to wear it all the time, he told me nothing will happen blabla @Bella6761

Speaking to someone isn't the same as enforcing it.

You don't need to pander to him, it's your body and the risk is to your health.

He's shown you already he doesn't care enough about you or your health by

1. Refusing a vasectomy
2. Gas lighting you that sex will be fine if he doesn't wear a condom for part of it (for his own benefit)
3. Now not pulling out at all bc he "forgot"

I doubt he actually forgot but even if he did it again shows a complete lack of care for you.

I wouldn't want someone like this man anywhere near me!

But you understand now that the condom should be on before you start having PIV sex, yes?

You really need to consider your health, here, above your stupid husband's desire to have condomless sex. Give him the choice of vasectomy or celibacy.

What a ridiculous reply. Unless it’s rape women are equally responsible for. Comments like yours drives me nuts personally. Automatic blaming men for everything.

Op is equally responsible so no sympathy here

I'm not sure what you're expecting here op. You consensually had sex and let him enter you without a condom, you willingly risked a pregnancy as much as he did. It's covered in high school and everywhere else that ANY sex without a condom is risky, so I find it hard to believe you wouldn't know that.

You don’t want to create a baby? Don’t have sex then or at least use a very reliable birth control method.

Just as all the women will happily say to men.

Really? How about no sex until he gets the snip? I’d be embarrassed to be with a bloke so pathetic that he won’t get a vasectomy when his family is complete.

Either he’s terrified of a minor op (what the hell??? Try childbirth) or he’s keeping his options open. Neither is remotely attractive.

If DH won't use birth control correctly or have the snip, could you have your tubes tied. Drastic, I grant you bug at least you would know that this won't happen again.
In the meantime, no intercourse if he is not willing to wear a condon the whole time.

I have absolutely no respect for men who refuse to even consider vasectomies after watching a woman endure pregnancies and births, but also refuse to wear condoms and expect a women to fuck with her body yet further with hormonal contraception.

Pathetic twats.

Your husband is selfish not to get a vacestomy or use a condom. Is he not worried about you and what might happen? I agree with other posters in that you need to take responsibility for allowing this to happen however the bigger concern for me would be why he's willing to put your health at serious risk for his own pleasure.

@Bella6761maybe use a Cap?
I’m amazed you don’t know you can get pregnant from pre cum.

You need to stop having sex without protection. Facing a similar scenario, my DH didn’t hesitate to get a vasectomy. That is what decent men do. Men like this make me so angry.

I would not get an iud given the increased risk. Hormonal bc isn’t an option for me, but perhaps it is an option for you.

I would still require my husband to use a condom every single second, even if I was on hormonal bc in your circumstances. You should not be taking any more risk than you already are.

honestly, abstinence is better than constant fear.

Honestly I’d be rethinking the whole relationship. If I had been in danger of a rupture I’m fairly sure DH would do everything he could to never threaten my wellbeing like that again, including just getting the snip. Thats just really fucking callous imo.

I blame both of you. Pulling out is not a birth control method.

50/50. If he doesn't want to wear a condom or have a vasectomy, then no sex!

You both need to take responsibility

OP - get a caya diaphragm and gel (you can buy it from Amazon). Quite effective and comfortable

But don’t tell DH and get him to use a condim too so you are doubling up

wtf? The OP has put herself in danger

No condom at any time=pregnancy risk
It's 2025, everyone knows that. It's your responsibility to use proper contraception if you don't want to get pregnant