Long term single and coming to terms with it

[CatsCake]

Has anyone come to the conclusion that they will probably be single forever now? I genuinely can’t see myself meeting anyone again which is probably for the best but I still feel a bit sad about it. How did you make peace with it?

I'm mid 50s and only had 2 relationships of 5 and h years in total. Hope that's not it but if there is no.one of quality that will add you my life then I'll stay single. No point settling for rubbish

I have come to that conclusion recently too. I haven’t come to terms with it though. I’ve had a lot of counselling after leaving a husband who developed severe MH problems but would not get help. He became dangerous to live with. I don’t know how I could ever expose myself to that risk again.

I’m afraid I don’t have any advice, but wanted you to know is you are not alone.

I was addicted to men. relationships and sex. I'm long term single and much happier than I was before.

Thank god you’re not bitter about it

Doesn’t take long for the misogynists to show themselves these days……

I’m 34, I’ve been single years. During that time I have used online dating but it was so dire it wasn’t making me feel good, too many creeps and weirdos. So I stopped and I no longer go on dates or have to deal with nonsense. It’s brilliant tbh! If I meet someone it will be randomly in person somewhere but if I don’t, that’s fine too.

It’s ok by 45 you’ve hit the wall anyway.

Getting divorced 11 years ago was the best decision I ever made. I’m never going to live with anyone again except my cat.

I do make sure I get out every day & see people though, & spend a lot of time with friends & family.

Hi OP, I had this moment previously - I realised it was unlikely to ever happen for me and I basically had a mini breakdown over it, as it wasn’t the life I wanted at all but I wasn’t prepared to settle. I wanted a GREAT relationship, not just any old relationship.

The way I dealt with it mentally was to imagine myself at 85 looking back at my life and think I could either look back and see myself crying and moping and not making the most of life due to my single status, or I could look back and see how I had filled my life with other types of relationships (family and friends), meaningful experiences and making a difference to others. That really hit it home for me - lots of people have to deal with various tragedies or bad luck in their lives but we only get one life so you just have to make the absolute most of the life you’re given.

I also thought about what I wanted from a relationship and made sure I got those things elsewhere (apart from physical intimacy). Eg I bought myself lovely gifts and wrote myself loving messages for birthdays and valentines, I made sure I had a couple of friends to have heart to heart conversations with, and had a wide range of acquaintances to do various hobbies and trips with. I also moved closer to my parents so I could spend more quality time with family.

Wishing you all the best, OP.

Yeah you sound “content and happy”.

If by “content and happy” we actually mean “misogynist prick”

🤷🏻‍♀️

Sometimes posts like this make me angry but this one just made me laugh!

😂

I am over 45 and long-term single and have a pretty delightful life, with an interesting job, hobbies, friends and my lovely cat. It is a bit tiring sometimes as you have to make an effort to get to this point, but tbh having a partner and kids is probably more tiring.

thanks for the comments, i have been single almost a decade anyway and i wouldn’t say i’m enjoying it, quite the opposite really, it was nice for the first 5 years or so but as time goes on it does get lonely

I am 33 and tried all dating and either you meet weirdos or it looks like a constant chase which is going nowhere so I have kinda accepted this but coming to terms is a bit difficult. I am open to meeting someone that happens organically but atleast I will not be going searching for someone. Rather I am focussing on how to keep myself happy.

It’s hard to understand how you haven’t managed to make a relationship work.

I’m mid 50s and have been single most of my life except for 3 LTR (4, 3, and 2.5 yrs).

It’s definitely not the life I expected, I always thought I would marry my best friend and grow old with him. I’ve been single now for over a decade and it does get lonely sometimes but every year it becomes a little easier to accept that this will be my life.

I couldn’t get past the stated as fact that 50% of women over 45 are on anti-depressants ?
and who’s John Wich

Sorry not the point !
Over 50 single and staying that way seems to be increasingly popular amongst my peer group .
no one seems to want to live with anyone and are quite happy with occasional men friends .
it’s certainly less complicated .
I think sometimes you think it wasn’t what you thought life would be and other times you realise all is calm and there’s so many ways to enjoy life and feel fulfilled .

Honestly, I get where you’re coming from, but I have to admit—I enjoy male company a bit too much to imagine being single forever! Sometimes it feels like it’ll never happen, but I’m holding out hope that the right person will come along. In the meantime, I’m just focusing on enjoying life and keeping things light.

@CatsCake i understand how you feel! I was divorced 10 yrs ago after a 20 yr marriage. Met partner in 2017 and had some happy years before lockdowns sent his MH into a downward spiral. He died Nov 22 and I was sure I would never get into another relationship- I can’t cope with the grief when it ends and at 56 it’s gonna end in grief of some sort. But now I’m getting very lonely and discovering a less welL known symptom
of peri- I can’t stop thinking about sex!

but I have nothing to offer anyone- I’m fat and no longer attractive. I have no money and am clinging onto my job with my fingertips. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️no idea what to do

I have friends of the opposite sex. Most of them are married or in relationships.

Anyway. I do miss sex, but I have lots of friends, and do lots of things - probably more than I would were I in a relationship.

I’m genuinely delighted to be single, especially when men like @Iceboy80are out there. I wouldn’t mind someone else contributing to the bills, but other than that, life is great.

I’ve been single 14 years and I couldn’t imagine not being! I really am very content only having to consider myself. Especially if the alternative is dating men like the previous poster…