Long term single and coming to terms with it

[CatsCake]

Has anyone come to the conclusion that they will probably be single forever now? I genuinely can’t see myself meeting anyone again which is probably for the best but I still feel a bit sad about it. How did you make peace with it?

My thoughts exactly! Being single is so much better than having to endure a man like this!
@CatsCake live a good life and do things you enjoy. You might meet someone when you least expect it (I did!). But even if not, single life is peaceful and calm. Make the most of it.

Looking back I was never into dating at any point in my nearly 50 years.. I just done it because it was the thing to do. Have an older son whom I raised on my own. I own a few properties and will definitely have a high body count and I’m not on anti depressants but I do smoke the occasional joint for my menopause symptoms. I’m happy. Society puts a lot of pressure to date, wish I hadn’t bothered ever, just indulged myself with spa days, girlie weekends and shopping. We need to stop the expectation for women, most men are pretty vile (definitely exceptions but I can’t be arsed filtering). I still get asked out but usually by the handymen I’ve brought in to fix things for me, they want my money I’m not daft.

Perfectly illustrating one of the main reasons I (44, very happily single for about 5 years following abusive relationship, and no, not on antidepressants) stay away from dating apps or trying to meet men in general. Jesus wept.

There's gonna be sooooo many single people in ten years time I think. Will be interesting to see how society pans out with that and if the dating world can turn things around.

I have been single since the end of my awful marriage 7 years ago and haven’t at all come to terms with the fact that I might not meet anyone.

In fact there is a horrible kind of grief involved - made worse when I find anyone attractive.

Exh was my only relationship and I am very sad that this might be my only one - it was for a large part of our marriage a bad relationship.

I suppose I would like to see what a loving relationship could be like. I am also lonely generally which doesn’t help.

thank you this is exactly how i feel, it’s nice to hear so many love it but i’m struggling to relate, possibly as i don’t have a great set of friends and no family, but this is how i feel.

I am sorry you also feel this way @CatsCake . I was going to start a thread about this today but then I found yours.

I have so many hang ups caused in part by my marriage that I sometimes think I should talk to a therapist - and also ask them to help me work out how to accept maybe having to be on my own for the rest of my life.

On the other hand, apart for some online dating just before covid which lead to nothing, I am not doing anything about it in practical terms. I wouldn’t do OLD again, but I could try activities. Somehow I feel lost however.

Are you trying to meet someone?

I've never been terribly "good" at relationships, but I've always given them a good go. Tried to be a good girlfriend, put loads of effort into dating when I was single, etc.

I split up with the last boyfriend about 3 months ago, and I'm currently feeling done. I'm 51, I have kids and a busy, interesting life, and I am done with putting so much effort and energy into relationships and not having it reciprocated.

The recent Guardian article on mankeeping really struck a chord- it's about women crying off relationships because they're unwilling to be unpaid therapists for men who have never bothered to sort their shit out for themselves.

It feels really liberating to go "You know what? I'm not playing this game any more, and I'm happy".

I am very contently single and I really can't imagine not being. I have an almost six year old and split with his dad before he was born, we get in well as far as co-parenting goes but he only has him roughly every other weekend (sometimes will be a couple in a row) as he lives too far for the school run.
I did OLD for a bit at one point and then realised that time to myself is too precious to waste dating, I'd much rather see friends or literally just have time to myself!

Maybe when son is older I might feel differently but at the moment it would take something truly amazing to fall in my lap for me to even consider changing things.

So many people complain constantly about their partners and I think few of my couple up friends are actually any happier than I am!

I'm the same, been single a long time and very happy that way. When my marriage broke up I had small children so that preoccupied most of my time ("dad" ended up being useless and has disappeared from our lives - his choice). They got older, I had more free time, I built up quite a nice life doing what I want. I dabbled in online dating which was absolutely dreadful, very few actual dates but just couldn't see myself entertaining any of the many entitled creeps that seemed to be online. If I read one more message stating "I don't want no drama, no baggage, not a meal ticket" etc. Any single women I know seemed to encounter the same. I know people in relationships where they're unhappy, compromise continually or put up with immature mummy's boys and I don't envy them.
I feel I'm now too content in my own ways and life to ever consider changing. I'm happily single. I enjoy the peace in my life. I had no peace on my marriage so I relish it now.

I am finally contentedly single now I've accepted that's the best thing for me. I was always trying to force myself into relationships mainly because I felt that's what society expected of me and felt like some kind of failure when I wasn't able to find a partner. I've had a couple of LTRs over the years and a few short term things, some FWB but since my last LTR ended 7 years ago I haven't been with anyone else. I don't want to be with someone any more. It's just not me.

It's so peaceful being single. I have more energy for friends, hobbies, work etc. I don't have to deal with someone else's shit. My last LTR was so draining and the one before that was nearly as bad. It was just constant drama.

I dabbled in OLD for a while after the last relationship ended but didn't meet up with anyone. There were a lot of creeps on there just wanting a shag. No one seemed to be interested in getting to know someone first. I do know a few people who have met someone decent on there but I didn't find anyone but if I'm honest my heart just wasn't in it and I realized I just couldn't be arsed any more.

I didn’t kiss a boy until I was 23 and thought this. But someone was just around the corner

I can’t wait to be single again , just divorcing currently after a 15 year relationship. I’ve had a few long term relationships mainly because I thought I ‘should’. It’s basically taken me 15 years to realise that there was nothing wrong with me when I was single, I had my own house, good job and all the freedom I wanted. I do think women are pressured into relationships and made to feel somehow ‘less than’ if not attached to someone. I’m looking forward to getting back to just me. Tried it, didn’t like it 😆