He doesn't want to have sex

[creamandstrawburries]

He used to dress up for his ex girlfriend and had made things special for her that was 3 years ago. We had sex once 2 years ago then broke up and got back together recently. He doesn’t really want to have sex with me if I try and get him in the mood he pushes me away (not physically) and I tried sending him naughty photos but he told me to never send photos like that again.
I feel pushed away and don’t know how I can live in a sexless relationship

He doesn’t want to look at your body?
No problem, block him.
Next!

Meet him for a drink somewhere you can easily leave from and pick one:

“X, I’m sorry, this isn’t working for me. We need to break up.”

”X, I’m sorry, this isn’t working for me. I’m going to look for someone younger and more virile.”

”X, you’re obviously not in the right place for a relationship with me right now. I need to find someone who actually fancies me. Hope things work out for you.”

”X, This clearly isn’t working for either of us. You should go find someone you want to sleep with. And I need to find someone who wants to sleep with me.”

If he tries to talk you round and succeeds, do it again the next day over text. Add “Please don’t contact me again.” Then immediately block him on all channels.

Edited to add: Actually, given your last message. Just do it by text anyway and block. He isn’t just in the wrong place, he’s punishing you for not being his ex. It’s nasty and cruel behaviour and will escalate and destroy you if you stay with him.

So or what - ffs give over
fucking predictive text.

Just ghost him or her… you don’t owe them anything

Don’t live like this. And for goodness’ sake don’t send explicit photos. Block, move on, don’t send photos to anyone else.

Burned Haystack dating - look it up on Facebook @creamandstrawburries. It will give you a new perspective.

You need to get rid of him now. Having no-one in your life, would be better than having someone like that so don’t worry about that. He is destroying yourself self esteem. Get rid, then work on building yourself back up.

This is appallingly OP, and also a really strange thing for someone to say, which suggests to me he has some odd views / problems with his mind. Basically, he's a weird guy and sounds shady too.

Sorry to say, it also sounds possible that because your esteem is so low, you are attracting men who like vulnerable women, for whatever twisted reason.

Break up with him - doesn't matter how, so long as you are safe. Work on your esteem, so you are happy with yourself, and don't need the validation of some dickhead. When you are ready, someone nice will come along, who can see how beautiful you are and who makes you happy. It really is true. You are so young (I'm jealous!) and there really are so many amazing things ahead of you, you will look back in amazement that you wasted any headspace on this weird guy x

There's a great song that came out in the 70s that is exactly about this.

Fool if you think its over by Chris Rea.

It's about thinking that you'll never get another love after your first heartbreak.

There will be others. Set your boundaries. Anyone who wants to be with you has to find you attractive, has to treat you with kindness and want to have sex with you. And if they don't then you just say, "It's not working for me, so I'm ending it." You do not have to give any other reason.

End your relationship, commit to staying single until your self esteem is better and do the work on that. The book overcoming low self esteem would be a good place to start.

How do you know that ..who told you
If he did
The evidence would suggest he's lying

You were together and had sex once two years ago and broke up

You got back together recently but he doesn’t want to see your body and there’s nothing physical between you

Are you sure you’re back together? This isn’t a relationship. This sounds like a hook up two years ago which you are trying to turn into a relationship.

He doesn’t see it that way.

There isn’t a relationship to end. Just text him one of the great messages suggested upthread (I like the one about each needing to find someone they actually want to sleep with). Block. Move on.

You’re only 20. Put this one down to an early bad experience and use it as the low point never to return to!

Exactly, based on what you’ve posted, what is it that makes this a relationship?

You have “got back together” with a man who isn’t interested in sex or being kind and considerate towards you. What makes this different to a friendship (and a rather rubbish one at that!)?

No need to meet for a drink to do this… just call. Actually, given what the OP has posted, a message would be enough.

Sorry, didn’t read edit

Send him a text saying that you don't want to see him again

Block him

Get on with your life

Think about that for a moment. You don't think you can get anything better than someone who doesn't like you, doesn't want to look at your body and isn't attracted to you? End it and get out dating. How do you end it? By telling him you don't want to be together anymore. Goodbye. He treats you like crap. There are plenty of men out there who won't treat you like crap. Start liking yourself. You're worth more than this. You have a whole lifetime to find someone who wants you and loves you. Don't waste it on someone who doesn't.

This isn't a relationship, it's a friendship. If he's rude enough to say he doesn't want to look at your body then he's a pathetic waste of space. You can 100% find someone better than him. Please don't stay with this loser just because you have low self esteem. Text him and say it's not working for you and you are ending things. Then work on yourself a bit before getting with someone else.

What do you think is behind your low self esteem? Have you never received any positive comments growing up?

This is not a relationship and he doesn't give a crap about you. Your self esteem is so low that you'll accept poor treatment. Get yourself booked in for some counselling and get rid of this awful man. Just send him a message, then block and delete his number. He won't be bothered. You can and will do much better than him.

Tell him.

If Hes not interested in discussing and working on it, leave.

You’re under 30 - don’t waste years and years likd this. You will regret it. Trust me.

@creamandstrawburries - as PP have said, you sound very vulnerable and likely to attract men who will treat you badly. Also as PP said, it doesn’t sound like this is a relationship. In any case, just tell him this isn’t working for you so you’re not going to see him any more. Then you need to work on your self esteem. There are books you can read for this. Also, get to know yourself. What interests do you have? Are you studying or do you work? What excites you? What do you really care about? Getting really interested and involved in something bigger than you (volunteering, something with positive social impact) can be a good way to build self-esteem.

This isn't a relationship, it's a friendship.

It's not even that. Friends are generally nice and say nice things to each other!

OP, everyone else is right. He is not the man for you and never will be. Don't let your self esteem be further destroyed by a man.

As for finding someome better, my daughter is 19. We had tears at the start of the year when her boyfriend turned out to be less great than he seemed and she worried that no one would ever love her. The tears were barely dry before she found another one! Because that's how it works when you're young.

Don't waste your time with any man who isn't worth it.

Just text him and say it isn't working for you and you don't want to see him again. That's all you need to do.

WTF?

This us bonkers OP. He doesn't fancy you, he never will, your self esteem is lower thama snakes belly and being around him is making it worse!

Tell him simply that you don't want to be in any kind of relationship with him anymore, Goodbye and have a nice life.

Then take a year out of dating and get some therapy to help with your self esteem so you make better life choices going forward. You're only 20 - you have years to work on yourself to help you, lucky thing!

And Dery is right.

You need to really know yourself before you can work out what sort of person you want to be with.

You need to develop your ideas, interests, hobbies, career. To know what you want out of life. A boyfriend is the icing on the cake not the starting point.

So why are you still with him?