Anyone else sitting here feeling resentful about celebrating Father's day with the father of their children who is objectively not a good dad?
We had a wonderful day yesterday, all planned and paid by me. Breakfast out and a day out on a farm, seeing animals and getting some fresh air. However, I can't stop feeling upset and unsettled this morning. It feels like such a lie when the dad you are celebrating only cares about themselves, and is involved with the children only if he feels like it. The only words they hear from him is "I am busy" and "no". Don't mind me, he is not a bad dad, he doesn't hurt them physically, he provides them with a good life, but he is objectively not a good dad.
Like in most other families, I am the one who cares for them 99% of the time. I have all the mental and practical load of taking them and picking them up from school, making sure they have some social time with friends, they attend extra curricular activities, they have food ordered for school, trips paid off, a parent chaperoning whenever possible, bathing them, cutting their nails, feeding them all meals other than breakfast, taking them out on the weekends, taking them on holidays or travelling to see family and friends, planning birthday parties, taking them to birthday parties and doctor's appointments, buying and organising Christmas and all other special occasions, etc. And just to be clear, all this is happening around a full-time, high-pressure, high-flying corporate job that is mentally exhausting. There is always guilt about how much more I could be doing if I had the energy and time. And several times there have been dropped balls and critisism about how I did it or what I could have done better.
He just slots into family life by just being here. Existing, not contributing. And here we are, celebrating Father's day, just because he exists. On the other hand, I got fuck all for Mother's day. We shouldn't go out on Mother's day because it will be too busy, and no gift or anything else planned because I didn't ask for anything or planned it myself.
This morning I just feel like disappearing; just opening the door and getting as far away as possible just to make them miss me and appreciate how much I do for everyone. Oh well, just another normal day at work and home, one where I don't get to spend a single minute thinking about me....