and I think that does affect our marriage.
Today we just a fairly big argument because I was just venting that it was bizarre that the bank wouldn't be able to tell us when does our new mortgage start.
For context I deal with 97% of all house admin because my DH has been known to make mistakes or didn't think through about the ultimate consequences (like getting internet with Sky that includes live TV, so we now how to pay a TV licence, when we literally only watch streaming).
Going back to the mortgage situation, he started by saying that we received the letter a couple of weeks ago, when I knew we've had it for at least 5-6. He was adamant that was not the case until I showed him the date. Then he went on a tangent about the mortgage advisor and how we should trust her, but whatever the mortgage advisor said was irrelevant as the application was done by ourselves so it was open to user error, but because there's no instant congirmy, you just have to trust you did the right thing, going back to it's bizarre the bank itself can't confirm the start date!
Then we went on a tangent that I worry about all sorts of things, and it's true I do, but at the same time they don't really bother me, but from my POV he never worried about anything because his life always gets resolved. And that's fairly accurate. As the bigger earner I always have much more of a mental burden too..we were able to get this house and subsequently being able to be almost mortgage free thanks to my family.
He apparently DOES worry about things, but never expresses then as they're long term. i.e. not wanting to relocate or not knowing what he'd be able to do for a living. Which I understand, but he can also DO something about it as it's such long term.
Honestly, all I needed this morning was a bit of validation (because the situation is bizarre!) not a whole tangential saga with the intention of reassurance.