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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I’m the other woman

51 replies

softlysoft · 11/06/2025 19:01

Sadly actually, one of many other women. Started dating a man. He absolutely swept me off my feet. Gorgeous, attentive, charming and charismatic. Fast forward 7 months and I’m an absolute shell of a person. There were many red flags and I overlooked them because no one can be THAT good a liar, right? Turns out he’s a psychopath and a narcissist and he’s turned me completely inside out. After much digging around and Miss Marple-ing, it turns out my spidey senses were right and he is indeed married. I have ended it, but I feel sick. The broken promises, the lies, the endless deceit. The fake futuring, the chaos and confusion. I’m both humiliated and broken hearted. I can’t stop thinking about him. I know he’s a liar. He’s toxic and an absolute pig, but still. I just don’t know how to move forward. Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

OP posts:
MidnightMeltdown · 13/06/2025 11:14

Disturbia81 · 11/06/2025 19:16

Sadly the most charming, attentive, passionate men are usually the players and cheaters, then nice normal men don’t compare. We want the passion but the passionate ones are usually like that with everyone.
If a woman finds a charming, loving, funny, attentive, handsome man who only has eyes for her then she has struck gold.

This. The charm is a disguise. He puts in a show to reel you in because he knows that it works. Men like this have perfected the technique.

It wasn’t real, it was grooming. It’s normal for grooming victims to feel like this, but it wasn’t your fault.

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