I am in, what I thought was a really lovely partnership, we get on well, we live together and we have such lovely fun that I can see this man in my future.
I was single a good 4/5 years prior to meeting him and loved my life before him, dont get me wrong, but also missed being in a relationship but needed that time to find me after a very long relationship previously. We have been seeing each other over a year now.
This relationship is very sweet, he is so so caring, very endearing, loving and affectionate, I couldnt ask for more. We have dated so much its lovely, gone away weekends, met family etc and literally things are sweet.
However, the difference between us, I have noticed is, that at times, I just want an evening to read alone or to go out for a walk alone after work. He prefers to spend all his time with me and admits to not liking his time alone due to possibly when he was younger spending a great time of time alone and parents not being around etc.I get that but I dont leave him per se I just want that time to myself to recharge.
So, the other day he mentioned he would work later to give me some space, I said thats fine, I said I will probably go and have a walk or go to the gym, however he decides not to work late, as he was tired and asks where am I, I said out walking and that I will be back probably in an hour. Which would coincide with his time at work if he was going to stay etc.
As I finish my walk he turns up to where i am walking only to say ok whats going on, do you not want me around?, do you have someone else?, this is all a bit out of the blue for me, I will stay at my work tonight, and leave you be, only for me to not even get a word in... but I said to him, all I wanted was a walk on my own to clear my head you told me this morning you were ok with that and I can read alone.
I like my own time at times, it recharges myself after a day of work ( I currently work where I am dealing with a lot of problems, its intense and need that downtime, whereas he doesnt need that) but I never say its anything else other that it helps me recharge and feel calm.
So I head home, only for him to have packed a suitcase, his rucksack and tells me again he is giving me space, and he will leave me be. I havent even asked him to leave, I said you can still stay here I just wanted a walk, he said no its ok, you needed space.
I am left here thinking, was it something I said, didnt say, but this is why at times I need that downtime just to recharge as spending all my time with him makes me feel so drained, tired and just exhausted. He says to me before he left that he does everything for me and that I dont talk to him....to which I just asked for a walk??
He mentioned I get that downtime and time alone, whilst he is at work but im working too and thats definitely not downtime.
What I am feeling now is that if I request this time alone it makes me feel guilty but if i dont have this downtime and see him too, I end up feeling quite down and very low in myself only to want to be alone more if this makes sense.
Its only just happened in the last few weeks and Im not too sure how to approach this as otherwise I thought he was such a lovely soul but am I right in thinking Im cold/or he is needy or am I being selfish?
Is it ok to want space with someone and enjoy your time alone or with others outside of the relationship? When he does this with his son it feels nice for him and I enjoy that he is away happy and I dont always go with them which use to upset him but he gets it as its their time together.. but he admits to missing me, I do too but still appreciate that time apart however lately its not as nice and Im starting to feel bad for it. .....at present Im just sitting here thinking what just happened?
thank you for reading!! Im kind of lost what to do really.