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Original poster

Relationship ended because of my life

33 replies

Clarasmum444 · 10/06/2025 09:11

Been in a relationship for 2 years. He recently ended it because of my responsibilities. I have a dd16 and 3 dogs. He knew all of this before he got with me. He said his life is restricted because I can't just up and leave to go on holidays!
Good riddance if that's how he feels but surely most people have responsibilities and can't just up and leave?!

OP posts:
Renabrook · 10/06/2025 09:14

Some people do ans somw dont i know why the 'good riddance' if the person want honest you are just at 2 different stages

Sidebeforeself · 10/06/2025 09:19

Perhaps he thought it would be fine but has seen the realities of it and decided he doesn’t want that? I dont see whats wrong with that unless he’s been nasty about it?

loropianalover · 10/06/2025 09:20

You’re angry and upset OP but his reasons are valid. You both gave it a go and it hasn’t worked out.

englishandelegant · 10/06/2025 09:22

Maybe he didn’t realise the realities of children and pets. He’s been honest at this point. You are allowed your life with your much loved dogs and daughter and all the joy that brings, equally he is allowed his life with impulsivity and freedom to do as he pleases. None of your lives are wrong.
Focus on your child and ensure she is ok. 2 years is a big chunk of her life and at a crucial stage developmentally in terms of navigating relationships and self worth, so to have someone significant there for 2 years and then suddenly out her life will impact her as well. Look after you and your daughter and maintain a calm environment.

DifficultEggs · 10/06/2025 09:22

It’s difficult for someone without children or dogs to grasp how constraining life can be with them — dogs especially. I agree with @Sidebeforeself that unless he was cruel or unpleasant while ending things, I think it’s understandable.

Fusedspur · 10/06/2025 09:22

He is looking for an apple and you are an orange. That’s all.

Original poster
Clarasmum444 · 10/06/2025 09:25

He does have children, 3 teenagers but doesn't see them. That should have been my first reg flag

OP posts:
DifficultEggs · 10/06/2025 09:28

Clarasmum444 · 10/06/2025 09:25

He does have children, 3 teenagers but doesn't see them. That should have been my first reg flag

Well, yes! If he doesn’t see his own teenage children, he’s highly unlikely to want to step-parent someone else’s… Was that not a total dealbreaker tor you, that he has no contact with his three children?

englishandelegant · 10/06/2025 09:28

Ohh that suggests he’s avoidant and needs to work on his own stuff. Bit of a drip feed OP but you’re having a difficult time at the moment so fair enough. I hope you’re ok.

teenmaw · 10/06/2025 09:30

Why would you entertain someone that doesn’t see their own children in the first place op? Of course he doesn’t want your responsibilities, he doesn’t even want his own!

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 10/06/2025 09:37

Clarasmum444 · 10/06/2025 09:11

Been in a relationship for 2 years. He recently ended it because of my responsibilities. I have a dd16 and 3 dogs. He knew all of this before he got with me. He said his life is restricted because I can't just up and leave to go on holidays!
Good riddance if that's how he feels but surely most people have responsibilities and can't just up and leave?!

I can't say I blame him. Spontaneous trips away are really great, dogs and kids are a real bind unless you're very enthusiastic about them.

Sounds like you both like different things and splitting up allows you both to have the lives you want.

You'll both get over it fast and live the lives you want. Result all round.

Picle · 10/06/2025 09:40

He's not in the real world. Most people with responsibilities including jobs can't just spontaneously go on holiday.

TimeIy · 10/06/2025 09:41

Clarasmum444 · 10/06/2025 09:25

He does have children, 3 teenagers but doesn't see them. That should have been my first reg flag

So you took a man who is a terrible father, and expected him to live a life with you that allowed you to be a good mother?

Surely you knew that this would go nowhere?

Why would anyone want to be with a man who doesn’t have a relationship with his own children?

You need to aim higher, OP.

loropianalover · 10/06/2025 09:45

Clarasmum444 · 10/06/2025 09:25

He does have children, 3 teenagers but doesn't see them. That should have been my first reg flag

errrrr? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 come on OP.

Bittenonce · 10/06/2025 12:04

It took him 2 years to realise you had a daughter and dogs??
2 years is certainly long enough for you to feel hurt but you’ll come to see how him breaking things off was actually doing you a favour.

Viviennemary · 10/06/2025 12:08

Sorry but I don't blame him. Live your life around 3 dogs if you wish but don 't expect other folk to.

TwistedWonder · 10/06/2025 12:22

Clarasmum444 · 10/06/2025 09:25

He does have children, 3 teenagers but doesn't see them. That should have been my first reg flag

Absolutely! He can’t be arsed with his own kids - massive dealbreaker for the majority of women .

Why as a parent OP would you entertain a relationship with a deadbeat dad?

Bananalanacake · 10/06/2025 12:41

Maybe it's the teenagers who don't want to see him.

Lovemysleeeeeep · 10/06/2025 12:48

Im the same as your now ex.
I love to just get up and go with no faffing and ties.
I work from my laptop so i dont have restrictions and dont have responsibilitys of pets and kids.
So yes some of us do have that life.
Tbh 3 dogs would have put me off any way.

But we are all different and you dont have to bother with him now.

Init4thecatz · 10/06/2025 12:55

Yeah, two possibilities.

-He wanted to be fine with it, trued, and failed.
-He always knew he wouldn't be, got two years of freebies, and is now bailing using that as an excuse.

SapphOhNo · 10/06/2025 12:58

He's not wrong to decide the relationship and your situation is not right for him. Sometimes the reality doesn't meet the expectation.

BuckChuckets · 10/06/2025 13:02

Clarasmum444 · 10/06/2025 09:25

He does have children, 3 teenagers but doesn't see them. That should have been my first reg flag

Well at least now you'll know not to ignore such a huge red flag!

Lighteye · 10/06/2025 13:17

Your daughter and dogs are your priority. You don’t need him.

Lighteye · 10/06/2025 13:18

Doesn’t see his kids!! You have had a lucky escape.

Lighteye · 10/06/2025 13:19

What a waste of space. I would never put a partner who wasn’t my kids father above my kids wellbeing which you haven’t done as far as I am aware but thank god he’s gone…..