Do you just’ know’ if a man likes you?

[ambergoldrecluse]

And if so , how did you know? I’m 52 and feel like I’m ready to date again after a gruesome few years .. divorce/ kids etc .
I fancy a man of my own age and when are in the same bar/ restaurant/ coffee shop , which has been perhaps twice a year this year and last, I have seen him glance in my direction and smile and say hello. He is always in a group and I always have my teen with me when this has happened.
I know he is single , that’s all I know.
am I deluded ?
if not, how should I progress? I’m simply clueless.
Inwill see him again in a couple of weeks but there will be group situations again .
thanks for reading.

Can anyone spare a minute to share their thought on this? Feel like an idiot but would appreciate your experience, please?

I just wanted to say that you aren't alone. I never "know" if someone likes me. Not unless one of us makes a clear move.
I know that's not any help, but just wanted you to know that it's not some big green siren you are missing.

Maybe just hold his eye a little longer than feels completely natural - that sounds weirder than I mean it to. But I think that’s what I’d do! Then see what he does.

I think this is really good advice- it's a discreet way of him knowing you are interested.

I am hopeless at telling when people are interested in me (and when they aren't, which is worse 😅).

Are you in the same big group as him? Or do you just live locally?

It's difficult as it's a group setting but the smile and the hello sound promising. Can you not just say Hi and move into chatting range? A lighthearted 'fancy seeing you here comment' is OK as an icebreaker, cheesy but true! You can gauge if his interested in you if he gives you his full attention and good eye contact, also if he moves a bit closer when you are talking. Give it a try, nothing ventured, nothing gained!

I’m inclined to say yes, you do just know but equally there have been quite a few limerant threads on here lately where it was pretty obviously wishful thinking.

I thanks. I come out in hives at the thought of flirting or getting it wrong by thinking he is just being friendly . That’s my worst fear in this situation! I am so rusty with this stuff .

I think it depends on the man - sometimes you can tell and sometimes you can’t, if they’re quite shy or unassuming.

In my experience, they give you a bit more attention than would feel “normal” for friends. That’s obviously when you get to know them a bit, rather than first off. I wouldn’t have a clue at that stage!

Just try and be a bit more chatty OP. But in answer to your question me and my postman fancy each other 🤣 nothing will ever happen he is married. But I know he likes me and vice versa. I get quite shy sometimes though and haven't spoken with him properly for a few months

Men who genuinely like you and are in a position to date you make it known by speaking to you and asking you out. You don’t have to do any mental gymnastics or in fact ‘do’ anything to make it happen. If he’s not doing those things it’s a waste of your energy and time even thinking about him

Not sure I agree with this. Depends on the confidence of the man. Also this pays out both ways right? Why wouldn’t/shouldn’t a woman behave in the same way?

I like the suggestion earlier. Hold gaze a little longer and then you’ll know! Then TALK!

Good luck OP!

It’s awkward - if you’re with your kid and he’s in a group, doesn’t make it comfortable to start a conversation. Do you know anything else about him other than that he’s single? Would he know anything about you? If your conversations have literally been ‘Hello’ then ‘Hi, my name’s Amber’ would be a good start? If it were me, I’d feel awkward trying to start a first time conversation with a woman who was with her kid, while I was with my group of friends / sports club or whatever. 1:1 would be so much easier, safer.

Not necessarily true. Some of us are gutless cowards who take absolutely forever to get up the courage to finally ask someone out.

Looks back at the wasted 2 years of pining for DP from afar.

Honestly, OP, if he’s someone you’ve seen twice in passing in a bar/café over a period of a couple of years, I’m not even sure I’d necessarily recognise him!

I wouldn’t want to date someone like this. I would also say that a man who waits 2 years in which time another man could easily have swooped in is not really a good prospect for a long term relationship.

That's fine, I don't want to date you either. DP of 20 years would probably be a bit miffed 😉

@VimesandhisCardboardBoots 20 years and no ring on it? Hmmm

Oh that one's all her. Her last relationship before me she ended up engaged to an abusive man. I proposed twice to her in the first 3 years, the second time she explained that the whole thought of getting married terrifies her. She knows that if she ever does decide she wants to get married, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I'm also perfectly happy as we are.

All I’ve just found out that he’s 60!! I’m so shocked as he looks so much younger !
but 60! Would you go for someone approx ten years older if you were my age ??

what an incredibly odd and judgemental post

you think a meaningful relationship requires wearing a band of metal around your finger?
mumsnet has really changed

As a man 10 years older I’d say - yes!
Think of his age as how he looks, thinks, acts

This man is so active, fit and always buzzing around socialising or sailing or swimming . Boundless energy and zest for life surrounds him. I’m genuinely so shocked ! Just goes to show you that age really is just a number !

It’s 8 years, I don’t see the issue. It’s the sort of age bracket I’d expect. A younger man would probably be more reliable for sex though, it depends what you’re really looking for.

Not always - they do sometimes need a few signals to help them along. So as others say try some extra eye contact, mirror his energy, by smiley,warm and open, and just see what develops naturally. Build the connection so you can reach a point at which you can comfortably say "do you fancy a coffee".