Dealing with a huffer and puffer

[lifemakeover]

My husband is fond of sighing, huffing and muttered exclamations and it drives me mad. Lots of "Oh God/FFS/Really?!!" as well as loud sighing/huffing - all without any precursor or context. Often it's related to him reading work emails and messages. But also it can be about things he sees around the house like mess left by the kids. I agree that does absolutely annoy me too, but I think I tend to be more direct about it.

Why does he do this? At my most uncharitable I think it's attention seeking or trying to seem important/highlight how stressed he is - or just downright passive aggressive.

If you live with a huffer and puffer how do you deal with it? If you are one, do I need to be kinder?

Mine does a disproportionate noise accompanied with swearing if he Stubbs his toe on the bed.
I ignore that too as there is no need.
Least said soonest mended.🤣

Oh this thread has been a very satisfying slow burn. Although I am sorry so many of us are living with these little steam trains!!

Some good tips though.

Love this!! 😂

Does he blow the house down too?

My DH is a big huffer/puffer/sigher. Always has been. I just flat out ignore it it’s the only way.

It's usually a man thing designed to intimidate their partners. Bet they don't mutter ffs when doing something for their mates.

DF does this when reading emails. It's because before he retired he was Busy and Important.

My BIL does this constantly and it really irritates me. My sister just ignores it. Personally it would give me the ick!

Mine went through a phase of making "mmmm" throat clearing sounds every few seconds.

I started copying him. The instant he did it I did it too. Really REALLY annoyed him - but he did stop after a few days.

He at first denied he was making the noise, until someone else asked him why he was doing it.
Then he said he couldn't help it as it was caused by stress - and I responded that I could understand that as his noises were stressing ME out (definitely) so I agreed that making the noise alleviated my stress..........

He could control it. He stopped doing it.

Remind him what happened to the Big Bad Wolf.

I sent DH this thread to read as he often huffs and puffs with little regard of how it makes others feel.

@Lunaballoonand @MagicTape haha I think you might be right! Will take the constipation approach 👍

Oh god.
Im cringing because I am a subconscious puffer.
I dont huff or chunter at all and im very very rarely in a bad mood (if i am i swear instead of sigh) but i do puff when reading or thinking.

In my defence it's just breathing, Im a bad asthmatic and most of the time im just taking a big breath and exhaling as im aware that normally my breathing is quite shallow.

My gf calls me the puffallo if i do it frequently and i'm very apologetic once i'm aware im doing it because passive agressive sighers drive me wild.

Oh god I hate this! An ex of mine was a huffer and puffer. Drove me mad. It was one of the many reasons he is now an ex.

Well according to a judge - it s not allowed in the workplace, why should the home be any different? I actually quoted the below at my boss when he sighed at me - he has been a lot better since. I would certainly not put up with it from my partner.
'Sighing in frustration at a co-worker can now be classed as harassment, a judge ruled.
Robert Watson broke down in tears after his manager repeatedly sighed and made 'exaggerated exhales', which the tribunal ruled amounted to disability discrimination'.

@Verv”the Puffallo” 🤣

I’m going to use the Huffallo from now on for DH.

Indeed! I’ll bet they don’t!

That’s good to know!

It really does depend on someone's heart
Remembering a really lovely mature male I knew some years ago
He was harshly affected from having an alcoholic dysfunctional father & this nice man, as a result, was always on edge & it manifested in the form of sighing, huffing oftentimes
But it was most surely due to his nerves
Lovely sincere soul he was
However, someone else I know, is a Humongous Hufferer Pufferer on a completely different, much much wider scale & the latter individual's reasons for being a Hufferer Pufferer are totally different Too-Unlike the former, aforementioned Sweet Natured, Male, the latter Male does his Hufferer Pufferer act to demonstrate resentments, hostility, sulkiness & grumpiness, showing his disapproval & begrudgements of anyone even sneezing or yawning, then expects everyone to feel sorry for him because whomever sneezed, yawned coughed etc, has disrupted his serenity
Awful attitude & completely utterly different to the former sweet natured male💚🤗💚