How soon after divorce did you find love again?

[Bumblebeefree]

Hi!

Ive been wondering a lot about people's stories of finding love after a divorce. I was with my DXH for 10 years married for 4. I should have left the marriage at least 2 years ago but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

At the beginning of the year I couldn't ever dream of myself being with someone ever again and most definitely not getting married. Recently ive started to think it is something I would like in the future (thanks to therapy, good friends and developing self worth and self love) it has made me realise that real love does exist and I do one day deserve that too.

Can you share your stories of life after divorce? How did it feel starting a new relationship all over again?

Was with DH for 18 years, knew the marriage was over about 2 years before divorce. Met DP a year after the divorce. Felt ready to date and wanted a snog tbh, didn’t particularly want to fall in love but I did!

exH of course met someone just two months after I asked for a divorce. I think many men struggle to be alone! I needed a bit of time by myself and DP was patient and supportive while I was healing from my marriage. We’ve been together 3 years now.

Sounds very civilised!

I would say it's very dependent on the previous relationship breakdown and the divorce itself. Those that have suffered a trauma would most likely take a longer time to heal from that. If children are involved it makes taking the next step even more of a challenge as you need to navigate and take their feelings into consideration. Time lines are very unique to the individual.

Met my lovely DP 3 years after splitting with exH. Had only been online dating for about 3 months when we met and 7 years later, I still can't believe how lucky I am. We won't be getting married but we are very content.
The time on my own during and after my divorce was invaluable for working out who I was and what I wanted from any future relationship.

Split three years ago and I haven’t even been on a date, the apps terrify me and I just feel lost.

I was single / having a lot of fun for about 3 years after my first short marriage ended. Then I met DH, knew from the first date he was different and our 3rd wedding anniversary was last week. Our DS just turned 1 x

In my case it was just weeks - but you definitely don’t want that OP! It was chaos.

Both me and BF were just weeks out of long term marriages. Had known each other for a while and there was chemistry. We got hugely excited about each other. He told his kids, ex-wife, everyone. It went at a crazy pace.

Inevitably, his ex-wife suddenly remembered she wanted him back. His new flatmate also declared she had expected to be the next Mrs BF. Then the flatmate and ex-wife teamed up and got his kids involved. It was bananas. Eventually it got too weird for me, plus he seemed so stressed out by it all, and I decided to call time on it. Big shame as I adored him and am still sad about it. But yeah, there might have been a good time for that relationship but it was not then. There can definitely be too soon.

I thought my life was over when I found myself divorced with a small baby. I picked myself up, went to therapy, reconnected with friends, learned to swim and sorted the garden out. After about a year, I realised I was happy. And when you are happy, people seem to appear like magic. I've now been happily married for 33 years, enjoying being grandparents. OP, it sounds like you have been doing all the right things and it sounds to me like you are ready. Just be sure what you want this time.I made a list with my best friend.

We divorce after almost 10 years married with about 15 actually together. We have 2 kids. 11 years down the line and I’ve not even contemplated it. My DM keeps telling me to find a new man but I don’t have the head space. I’ve prioritised my children. Their dad found someone after a year, had another baby by 2 years and split up from her when said baby was about 3/4. I believe he now has another GF not but hasn’t announced this one.

Dating has changed so much since the 1990s when we met whilst at Uni. I don’t work or socialise with enough of the right type of people for me to meet someone (I work in a very female printed work and the very few men at work are too young/old or are gay or married. My social circle all dropped me as they’re all married and I don’t have any single friends.

I know loads of people jump back on the horse so to speak pretty quickly though - after both divorced and being widowed.

Split from the ex after 17 years when he had an affair. Took 3 years to get a divorce! Had a couple of relationships that went nowhere then I decided that was it I wasn't going to bother with men. Then my friend told me a bout a dating site she was looking at. I told her I wasn't going to use a bloody dating site I was too old. On Sunday afternoon bored I took a look. It was a bit like window shopping. there was a button to save to favorites but it said I had to have a profile. So I wrote a very negative profile, no picture just wondered if all the men were predators and all the women were sad and desperate? Got loads of men messaging me none which really interested me so I just gave up on it until about a month later I got a message form a guy who had read my profile and he was angry saying there were women predators out there too. We started writing to each other 1st on the site and then by email. Eventually I offered him my mobile number but he said he always let the lady make the 1st move and gave me his. so I rang him one lunch time and he rang me back that evening. We were talking for about 3 hours and he declared that he had to meet me. We have been together now for 18 years, moved in together about 10 years ago and got married 3 years ago at Gretna Green. My kids get on great with him and he adores our little granddaughter. Best thing I ever did when I went 'window shopping'! The ex now lives in Thailand and has never met his daughter in law or granddaughter. His loss is my now husbands gain.

I met a new guy about 9 months after we separated and 3 months after the divorce was final. It was only ever supposed to be casual. It drifted on for about 3 years but without any long-term goals. I was very clear that I didn't want to marry or co-habit again and neither did he. In the end it wasn't making me happy so I ended it.

Edited to add there was about 3 months between exP and current P. Clear air but not a lot. I really wasn't expecting to meet anyone straight off but it was like week 2 of internet dating!

I met my current DP 2.5 years ago and it was pretty clear he had all the attributes I'd missed in my exP and ExH. He was kind, caring, loving, thoughtful, committed, emotionally open etc.. He moved in a little over a year ago and we are getting married next May. My teen DD really likes him and is fully supportive. He organised a suprise day out last weekend as I've been really stressed in work recently... swoon! 😻

Not me but my DH had separated from his wife of 20 years nine months before I met him. I asked him did he really think he was ready for another commitment- he explained that he didn’t suddenly wake up one day and decide to end the marriage, but that it had been floundering for several years and the split was mutual. We married a year later.

6 weeks