Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How soon after divorce did you find love again?

38 replies

Bumblebeefree · 03/06/2025 21:27

Hi!

Ive been wondering a lot about people's stories of finding love after a divorce. I was with my DXH for 10 years married for 4. I should have left the marriage at least 2 years ago but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

At the beginning of the year I couldn't ever dream of myself being with someone ever again and most definitely not getting married. Recently ive started to think it is something I would like in the future (thanks to therapy, good friends and developing self worth and self love) it has made me realise that real love does exist and I do one day deserve that too.

Can you share your stories of life after divorce? How did it feel starting a new relationship all over again?

OP posts:
Gingerwarthog · 03/06/2025 21:32

I met DH three years after the divorce and was married to him two years later. Have now been with him for 12 years. Knew he was the one the moment I saw him. Had fun with another lovely man who made me laugh a lot about a year after the divorce too.

MellowPinkDeer · 03/06/2025 21:36

Took about 4 years for me to meet someone I actually liked and about 5 years to fall in love.

Jo1667 · 03/06/2025 21:46

I met my boyfriend 3 months after my divorce came through. It was all very unexpected as I was content with my new life including a fwb arrangement that I had.
However, we spent time together as friends before I realised that I fancied him, plus he was a nice fella. Been together nearly 3 years - and I'm content with my life and also in this relationship.
I said to him while we were still just friends that I wasn't getting married again and I'm not changing my name again. All those things are still true. We don't live together either. We're fine as we are for now.

Bumblebeefree · 03/06/2025 22:00

Gingerwarthog · 03/06/2025 21:32

I met DH three years after the divorce and was married to him two years later. Have now been with him for 12 years. Knew he was the one the moment I saw him. Had fun with another lovely man who made me laugh a lot about a year after the divorce too.

This is lovely, so lovely to hear that this type of love exists!

OP posts:
beansontoast85 · 03/06/2025 22:14

I met my DH two years after separating from my EH. We’ve now been together for 8 years, married for 3 and have four year old twins. After 10 mostly unhappy years with my EH I really didn’t think I would ever re marry or have more kids. There is definitely life after divorce and it can be amazing!

Icanflyhigh · 03/06/2025 22:19

About two years after separation. Still married and divorce underway. 9 years later, we're married and I've never been happier, absolutely met my soul mate and wouldn't be without him x

cadburyegg · 03/06/2025 22:24

Probably not what you want to hear but I separated 4.5 years ago (divorced 1.5 years), still happily single.

Takeinironingboards · 03/06/2025 22:26

4 years after separation and divorce I started on OLD sites, and now apps. 12 years of doing that and I've not met anyone. Embarrassing!

MissConductUS · 03/06/2025 22:30

I was divorced for about a year, met my now DH and we were married two years later. We’re still happily married with two great adult children 27 years later. He’s been a wonderful father and a lovely husband.

We’re planning to retire together this fall. We might even visit the UK. He’s also an American who lived in London for a year before we met.

Hoolihan · 03/06/2025 22:35

Met someone new about a year after splitting from ex-H. We'd been together 25yrs and I was very up for being single for the rest of my days! But it's so lovely to have someone to hang out with. We won't be getting married and might not ever live together (certainly not while my kids are still at home) but we have lots of fun together. It feels like a new lease of life 😊

ChaliceinWonderland · 03/06/2025 22:39

Separated 6 years, met boyfriend on OLD a few months ago., totally unexpected!! I'm 54

freakinthespreadsheets · 03/06/2025 23:02

I'm still mid divorce and have a new partner already! I was mentally checked out of the relationship with STBXH as he was abusive and am now seeing a lovely man who cares so much for me. There is hope OP!

TwistedWonder · 03/06/2025 23:14

Separated 2016 after 23 years, one short rebound relationship and realised after a few tedious dates that I’m really not interested in finding a partner.

Im nearly 60 though so maybe I’d think differently if I were younger.

Everintroverte · 03/06/2025 23:18

Separated in 2018, 3 years later I met someone else. Been together 4 years now, don't live together and aren't married although we have been talking about both.

JohnofWessex · 03/06/2025 23:20

Ex wife pushed the divorce through at great speed but not fast enough as she signed that she had no intention to marry or cohabit & moved him in 3 days later wrecking her settlement.

Promptly fell pregnant but it didnt end well!

In the meanwhile I met an ex and we had an on & off more like a FWB arrangement for a few years which was very happy

Freeflight · 03/06/2025 23:31

I'm still single 2½ years later and sadly not even made it past 4 dates.
But I have a friend who separated the year after me and she found someone after around 8 months and they are really happy and starting to build a life together.
There's just no knowing how things will pan out for you unfortunately.

Freeatlast2 · 04/06/2025 18:39

I am 20 months post separation and 1 week 1 day post final divorce order.

my ex h was abusive, cheated and then tried to blame me for it all…including his post separation conviction for drunk driving.

I never see myself in a relationship ever again. And i definitely will never live with anyone or marry again.

40andcounting · 04/06/2025 19:00

Seperated/divorced a few mths before covid. Started dating when things lifted . Dated someone for 8/9 mths. Let's call my practise relationship - then met my partner of 3.5 years. Been living together for 1 yr. My whole life i settled and so glad I realised I deserved better because I got it!! I would get married again and was discussed early on as we knew
Dating is tough. I think its so much easier for a decent man to find someone than it is a decent woman. Came across some vile individuals but it was worth it!!

TessTimoney · 04/06/2025 19:06

After 26 years of misery at the age of 48, I finally divorced and was just happy to be free of him and his abusive control. I never imagined being with another man. No one was more surprised than me that 3 months later I met a man who made my heart pound and my pulse race. To be honest, I fell in love with who I thought he was, but as I got to know him I realised he wasn't my soul mate, there were lots of incompatibilities. However we stayed together for 12 years and had a lot of great times together, the sex was amazing (my XH was a wham bam thank you mam kinda guy) and I think that's the reason it lasted so long. We didn't live together and when it became apparent that he wanted more (a wife) I ended it. I've enjoyed being alone, never lonely. I have a great social life. Last year I met an attractive man 7 years my junior and we started dating but I have just ended that relationship because he was really boring and although he was younger he acted like an old man, set in his ways. I'm currently very happily single but still believe in real love and haven't ruled out finding my soul mate. I live life to the full and make the most of every day because tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. I hope my story encourages you to make the most of your independence.

TheTealBee · 04/06/2025 19:33

I separated from my exh after 35 years of marriage, 37 years together and looking back it should of happened a lot sooner but it still wasn't my decision. I met someone else on a dating site about 4 years after I got divorced. We got married last year at the grand old age of 67 (me) 69 (dh) We are very happy. You absolutely can find love after divorce! Have the best life whatever happens.

LondonLady15 · 04/06/2025 19:53

Separated after 20 years (my decision). Was happily single for 6 years - dated and had girls holidays, loads of socialising with friends and a couple of relationships but nothing serious. Hit 50 and started to feel a bit lonesome at times, but didn’t have much faith in meeting my ‘soulmate’. Then a couple of years ago he came along! Live together now and still feels like the honeymoon stage. Never been happier. Not planning on being single again….fingers crossed!! Took me long enough but boy it was worth it

Clueless1978 · 04/06/2025 19:55

How did you end your marriage when you had kids and a house together?

Namechangedforspooky · 04/06/2025 19:57

I married again almost exactly 5 years later. I made sure I got an upgrade second time round!

EternalDreamer · 04/06/2025 20:24

I was married young, together 9 years, married for 7. He left. Had a great summer 😉 then 5 months later met my now husband, got together 2 months after meeting and have been together 10yrs, 3 kids. So glad my ex left!

Ilovechocolatelimesandsherbertlemons · 04/06/2025 21:11

Met my DH 3 months after I finished with my first husband, at a party given by my ex!

We had no children, and should never have married, let alone been together for 5 years. My DH and I have been married for 43.years. He says he is the improved version!