I went on a French city break with my BF and I just don't know what to make of his behaviour some of the time. He turned unpleasant to me and I would value some advice about what happened, please. I just saw something emerge that stunned me and I feel punched in the stomach.
We met in the city where I went there before him and I was telling him about the things I had seen, but he wasn't really responding in his usual way, v probably because he had just been very busy and he said that he was very tired. So when he played up, I put it down to that.
We were enjoying a meal when he picked up his phone and took a call for about 15 minutes, then didn't say sorry. Usually we agree never to do that because we say it is rude during a meal in a restaurant.
He has a habit of butting in when I am asking a waiter about the menu and BF justified that by saying that his French is better than mine (it is) but I enjoy the interaction and practice. He continued to do that, despite my asking him not to.
When we were checking out, I put borrowed plug adapters on the hotel front desk and he said "you need to hand them back" - which I was doing, obviously. I diffused the situation by saying "no, I am going to take them home with me" and he shouted at me "no, you can't do that, they don't belong to you!". I was stunned that he shouted at me and patronised me like that. In fact there were other examples of him patronising and also dismissing me.
We went to a cafe in a garden and he went off to buy coffees. I found seats and was chatting to a v nice couple. I couldn't see BF and waved. Eventually, BF returned with a face like thunder. When the couple left, he had a real go at me,
"you should not have chosen to sit with your back to where I was, I was looking for you, its not what couples do, I sent you a text" and went on. He was really angry. It was a mistake of mine.
When we queued to get into a restaurant, he offered to queue for me in the heatwave while I sat in a shady cafe and he would phone me. I got his phone calls but there was no sound so I sent him a text to say what's happening. Then I got up and found him at the head of the queue and he just had a furious go at me: "you didn't answer texts, I waited and now we have to stand aside waiting for the man to let us in'. Why didn't you answer my texts? I said "again, you are accusing me without looking at things. I sent you texts! He showed me his texts and he had sent them by WhatsApp not by text as we had agreed (issues with my phone). He didn't say sorry.
The last day, we met for lunch and he seemed in a better mood and he said he had had a good explore, then I said you seem in a much better mood, that you had not always been and eventually I said that I was upset by his behaviour to me. I really tried hard to have a non-blaming discussion. He said you should have raised them at the time and I said it doesn't matter, I'm raising it now, it's my right to say when I want to". He said things like he was ok with having an argument and I said look, I virtually never have one, I am telling you my feelings, if you want an argument you pick on someone else. He said "I used to be like you, never expressing my feelings", I replied "I have just been telling you my feelings! I am really upset that you shouted at me." I carried on and then he just shrugged in a dismissive way and I pointed that out and he shrugged again dismissively.
I said that I had been upset and cried but he offered no comfort or compassion.
I have been feeling numb ever since I got home (we live apart and not in the same area).
Sorry for the longish post. Is his behaviour enough to leave him? I have a lot to lose by doing so, he had been v supportive before.