Boyfriend spent Birthday without me

[Raluca87]

Hello everyone, My boyfriend and me are together since December last year, also 6 Months. He recently had birthday (he went 46, I am 38) and decided to spend his birthday at his home, he just invited his parents to his home and cooked very nice for them (he sent ne a picture of it). I asked him if he wants to meet on his birthday and he said „maybe in the evening, after my parents leave“. But he did not invite me anymore to his place after his parents left. I bought a gift for him and hoped I could give it to him on his birthday. I feel so angry and sad. I mean he is 45! At this age still spending his birthday with parents and ignoring girlfriend? Do you have some advice?

He had plans after they left. Sorry, but that’s what it looks like. Maybe a night out with boys?

Angry? the fact he did this with his parents to me is a good sign, the reason I married dh is the way he treats his parents

Did you not read the thread

I'm afraid it sounds OP as though your relationship is not particularly serious in his eyes. Spending time with you on his birthday wasn't important to him.

He didn't ignore you, he said maybe he'd see you and he didn't. It's his birthday he can spend it however he wants.

Why are you arguing with yourself? 😂

thats nice that he spent his birthday with his parents
has he been married before?

😆 it's early so took me a while to.pick up on that!

why do you ask

You’re not his priority. His parents are. That would upset me too.

why couldn’t you eat with him and his parents? Have you met them yet?

I think it shows you where you are in his priorities a bit, that he wasn't keen to fit you in.

I suppose you've only been seeing each other 6 months, so it depends how the rest of the relationship feels to you.

If you generally feel it's going well and that he's keen on you, then don't worry too much.

If you often feel like you're the one who's more keen or doing the heavy lifting in the relationship, maybe you need to rethink things.

That's so funny, I wouldn't have noticed!

At that age and 6 months in I would expect you both to know if the relationship looked like it had a possible future. And if so, then I think that could include being invited to a family celebration. However I think it's too soon to change to just spending a special event with the new partner and not with whomever else the person normally celebrates with.

At 6 months it would have been a good opportunity for you to meet his parents at his birthday meal. The fact he didn’t, and didn’t bother to see you afterwards tells you how serious he deems this relationship to be.

I’d be annoyed and upset too. Of course seeing his parents is nice, but if you aren’t meeting up in each other’s birthdays after six months, it indicates that he sees the relationship as being very casual, even not as a relationship at all.

There are always some people on here who will post that even the mildest sign of commitment before you’ve been together at least 18 months or so, is somehow an unreasonable expectation… but that’s just bizarre in my opinion and something I only see on MN. I wonder if their relationships were just situationships that evolved into something more permanent out of habit rather than love over the years without any real connection on either side.

I’ve never known anyone in a happy long-term relationship that wouldn’t have chosen to spend time with their new-ish partner on their birthday six months in, and I know and have known many, many people! At that point, if you’re both not besotted with each other then you need to call it quits.

Yes it’s nice, but that’s not the point.

What’s not so nice is sidelining his girlfriend of six months and not even seeing her afterwards.

Why weren't you invited to this family meal? Have you met them before? Nothing wrong in having your parents over, but it would have nice to have been invited.

Yes there are some red flags there not so much about the dinner with his parents but that he didn’t want to spend it with you at all. He could have invited you to the dinner, after 6 months in a serious relationship that would be reasonable, he could have invited you after as he said. I think you and he are in different places with this relationship unfortunately.

Do you just come on here to give the opposing view to every thread because you're cool?

He doesn’t view the relationship as serious and it didn’t occur to him that he would be with you on his birthday. Or he really doesn’t value birthdays.

id ask him what his thoughts were. If he doesn’t value you you need to move on

You sound like a needy 12 year old, you're both incompatible so end it. He can spend his birthday with his parents or on his own if he wants. Just because he's with you doesn't mean he has to spend every waking hour with you.

No, he pretty much ignored her.

Of course “he can do what he wants”… The post isn’t suggesting that he lives in a high security prison or in North Korea ffs….

If you’re actually saying that the OP has no right to be upset about whatever her bf does, or however he behaves, then that’s a recipe for a shitty abusive relationship straight out of a Handmaids Tale.

at 45/6 he must have a big of baggage.

At six months in, he would have included you if he was truly serious, but the fact that he didn’t doesn’t mean that he doesn’t value the relationship. However, the fact that he doesn’t seem to prioritize you or spend the rest of his birthday with you suggests that you are low on his list of priorities.

I would take a big step back. If he wants this to work, he will step up. If he doesn’t, you’ll have your answer. You know the saying: never make someone a priority if they merely treat you as an option…

She actually does not sound like a needy 12 year old. Do you often think people are needy is they seek out perfectly normal things in relationships?