Dating whilst kids are at school

[SprinkleAndSparkle]

Have any lone parents dated entirely whilst their kids are at school? If so how does it work? How do you progress? It’s been suggested to me a few times now that I can date whilst my kids are at school but how does it work long term? I can see how it would work for the first few dates but not moving forward and can’t see many men up for this long term. So has anyone actually dated this way as I have seen it suggested a lot so anyone with direct experience? How did it work for you? (No babysitters, no family or no ex)

Do you work?

It’s possible but difficult as you’ll attract the sort of men who are either unemployed or those looking for no strings afternoon sex (and possibly attached)

Dk you have your DC full time? Is there anyone who could babysit to free up the odd evening/weekend?

Thanks I’m mainly looking for people that have done this to see how it worked for them so people with direct experience

Who are these people (as you’re emphasising it a lot) that are suggesting this to you? Because if it’s an idea coming from others can you not ask them?

Just on single parent groups, I have but they said it’s not personal experience but that’s what they would do in my shoes so wondering if anyone has ever done this, I do see it suggested quite a bit on the groups I’m on when someone asks about dating when you have the kids full time.

Train your children to sleep at a reasonable and regular time then once they're out you can have a new friend over. In the garden for an hour if you prefer to keep anyone brand new away from the rest of your home.

That’s a ridiculous suggestion. Don’t do this. Keep anyone you’re dating well away from your kids until you’re sure of them and the relationship.

That’s the only want I could see it working really but not sure I would be entirely comfortable with that, so many horror stories but I suspect that’s what others are doing to make it work.

Longterm it doesn’t really work. It depends what your looking for, if your just after a bit of company, sex and lunch out then it’s fine, but long term relationships are tricky when you have dc.

I have been a single parent for ten years, have dated a lot but not really managed a serious relationship. I don’t like introducing anyone new to my kids even now they are older (probably even harder now). I would never take my kids on a date or invite someone over when they are in the house. I have kind of excepted that I need to wait until they No Inger live at home to have a serious longterm relationship.

Do you work?

Yes I want a relationship not sex/ casual.

Part time

If you’re not intending to ever introduce a partner to your kids then why does it make any difference if you meet up in the daytime or evening time? Loads of shift workers around in the daytime.

if you are planning to live with someone again- then I still don’t see personally why it makes any difference. But then I go to bed early and hate going out in the evenings!

Yes would introduce just not for a long while would need to make sure it was serious or going somewhere

Bumping to see if anyone has managed

Not exactly op but I think you could do a lot of initial dating/filtering on this basis. I have been a lone parent for about 10 years and have been through several rounds of dating in that time. At one point I remember I was mostly meeting guys in the day for a quick coffee. At least that way you know if you fancy them and if there might be something there. Even getting to a second date can take quite a lot of chatting online and then obviously a successful first meeting as well. So I think it could work to help meet someone you do like and might want to pursue things with. But I think once you've met someone you do want to actually date, you'll need to find another way round it. I don't know how old your kids are but I would have a few dates out and then by about 5th or 6th date they might come over once my kids were asleep in bed. It was ok but I probably wouldn't recommend that. I did have a mutual bit of babysitting going on with a friend also so I'd look after her kids one afternoon after school and she'd then babysit when I had dates. It's not easy though op.

I think you need to figure out a babysitter.

Otherwise you're just going to find married men or losers. Or I suppose shift workers.

Do you have any friends in a similar boat who might do reciprocal babysitting?

You could do daytime meets for the initial coffee and get to know yous, but I think only being able to see each other in the day could end up just being very shag-and-go.

Yes, please.

I am a single parent, that wouldn’t have worked for me as I worked full time. I think you’d be limiting your pool considerably by the fact you’d need a shift worker (or someone unemployed I guess) who was off on the days you don’t work. Realistically you’re going to need a babysitter as it’s unlikely people you swipe on, and who like you, will be available on say a Monday and Wednesday lunchtime. Not realistic.

I just didn’t date for many years, as I didn’t want to pay a babysitter to go on a date with someone I might not even like. I guess if i’d have met someone organically, I would have tried to sort a babysitter to meet them, but financially that would have been tough. I waited until my DC were old enough to stay home alone, but even then, the only person i’ve dated was someone I met at work as cannot face online dating.

Why no babysitters? That could be worth sorting, as it could open many doors - and not just a relationship one.

No babysitter as I have no one that will babysit. Each to their own of course but I wouldnt find someone online to babysit them, obviously don’t judge anyone that does. I just mean I won’t have anyone who would watch them for me.

You won’t know unless you try? I did date while my kids were in school but I was able to date at weekends also, this was a few years ago and still single!
I wouldn’t pay a babysitter, you would need to go on so many first dates before anyone you’ll want to meet for a second date and more. There will be men that work shifts or their own business/wfh on lunch breaks, I think it will be a bit of luck and weeding out, it’s not impossible but a decent guy with the same time availability will be in short supply.

So you are suggesting bringing a strange man in to the house where DC live and are asleep?

You don’t have to find a babysitter online. You can find them in your community and vet them yourself.

I don’t know anyone that uses one so that wouldn’t be possible to find one that way