Starting a relationship with a recent widower

[IslaSkywalker]

What would you think about starting a relationship with a man whose wife died giving birth to their stillborn baby six months earlier?

Too soon.

I know lots widowers who soon after losing their wives are looking for a new one, or merely to jump back into the sex side of things. Unlike widows, many of whom are still alone several years and longer after their loss.

Technically he has with Xmas if his wife died six months ago

Honestly- I wouldn’t. The death of his wife wasn’t expected- add to that the death of his child and therefore his entire future wiped out in one tragic episode. Absolutely looking at heartbreak IMO.
it’s too soon to try to build an unexpected new life. If he’d had a period of planning that his wife was going to die through illness and they had discussed’after’ it would still be too soon.

Oops, you’re right. Guess you know what I meant though.

@Mummyoflittledragon I think the whole "you move on faster if you were in a happy relationship" is one of those sayings like "age is just a number" that exist purely so men can date who and when they feel like it rather than having any basis in science or academic studies.

OP I also think it's too soon and would not proceed

I’d say it’s very early days for him in terms of grieving. I’d probably steer clear.

I'd hope he didn't find this thread

He deserves some comfort and a chance of some happiness

Women aren't obliged to provide this at their own expense though.

Honestly, OP, this isn't something I'd even consider. It's too soon, too big, too raw...

He won't really even have begun to process it all yet, let alone deal with it. His wife and child? No.

I think it’s remarkably common. How quickly men move on.

That poor man needs therapy, family and friends.
not a new relationship.

It is common that men move on so quickly but I would be repulsed by it to be honest. The other day I had a man tell me he lost his wife less than a month ago while also flirting with me and eyeing up a young woman that could be his granddaughter's age (I'm his daughter's age). I felt so sorry for the deceased wife and insulted that he thought he could try it on me. His male entitlement and sex obsession was revolting.

That poor man, but no, I don't think it would be wise.

Its a bad idea which in reality you know as otherwise you wouldnt be asking.... 6 months is nothing at all, only the end of last year... such a massive thing to process.

Terrible idea.

The fact that he could overcome that so quickly and even think about dating again would put me off him. Fickle with no depth.

I know 2 women who did this.

Spent about 3 & 5 years ‘nursing’ the widower back to mental & emotional health. Men then dumped them, didn’t want a reminder of the saddest part of their life.

Losing both wife and baby is extremely uncommon these days so I’d wonder at his story, frankly. Assuming it’s true, I gave some sympathy for him but there’s no way I would, personally, date someone who could move on, in any shape or form, so quickly.

I know a woman who moved on quickly after her husband died. From the outside looking in I would say she was vulnerable and still emotional a few years on when it comes to anniversaries etc. Therapy is probably the better option right now for him. Some people can’t cope with being alone sadly.

Yep. Bloke used to work with met someone at his wife of 30 odd years funeral and moved her into his home within 6 months. Some people mostly men can’t let the bed go cold before they’re pulling someone else in to keep then warm.

Far too soon.

Typical man, only needs 6 months after losing his partner and baby.

Has this man actually asked you out?

He could be living in denial and hasn't dealt with his losses.

He misses having a wife around the house to do stuff. Some men can't or won't do the domestic work and find a woman to do it for them and be their bangmaid.

He might need to find a place to live soon.

He might be incredibly shallow or have a personality disorder.

Whatever, it's not coming from a healthy place.

That woman’s poor family. She and her baby only dead six months and the fella’s trying to get his dick wet.

I hope that this thread is hypothetical or a troll tbh because it’s depressing.

Men are known to move on faster, but no, I wouldn't. 6 months is no time at all to have grieved and come to terms with something so sudden