OK..Here it goes...my first post.........
I have been with my partner for 25 years and we have two children...... 22 year old son and 19 year old daughter.
We are not married. I have been the male provider for the majority of the relationship; bills, kids clubs, food and everything family life requires financially.
My partner had financial challenges where she was continuosly in her overdraft every month averaging £500 in arrears every month, whilst having a job and a good income. I supported her and cleared this balance for the best part of 12 months, maybe longer, I'm unable to remember exactly. I never asked for anything back as we are a couple as good as married, 25 years. You do this for each other right? Without even questioning it.
Approximately three years ago, my father in law passed and my partner was the executor. Again, I supported her through this very challenging time, where other family members were trying to manipulate and push my partner in declaring the wrong information for financial gain, which she could have got into trouble for with the HMRC. In the end, the said family members were held accountable through their own failings with HMRC and my partners went smoothly as she provided every detail required.
The outcome, she inherited a property with a passive income.
I have recently lost my job, although OK for money in the interim.
I asked my partner if should could support with a few bills....She has never had to pay a bill in 25 years. Half each to take some weight off my shoulders.
After some challenging conversations, she reluctantly agreed. If I realised how difficult it was going to be, I would not have asked. I reminded her of how I supported her financially and never ever asked for the money back. I see it as that we are 'one'. What I have is hers and hers mine etc.
Not so it seems.
I'm really disappointed with how the situation has played out. I have given my whole life and effort for my family and this one time I asked for support it was a massive task.
She is very financially stable now and seems to keep quiet about it all. I have always said to look after the children with the money and that I do not want any of it. Although would like her to make things a little easy with a bill here and there....
On the whole, relationship is great. Like any relationship, it has its moments although nothing major.....Well, one thing that gets me down at times, she calls me a narcissist. I do not control her in any way and have always said to her, to live her life to the fullest, if that meant not with me then that's my loss. She has always said she is happy and does not want to be with anyone else.
I would like some feedback from members whether I was wrong to ask for support and perhaps assumed that she would and should?
We have been together since I was 19 and she was 17, now 44 and 42.
Thank you.