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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating someone with a drug problem

53 replies

Lm404061 · 06/05/2025 15:12

I’ve been dating someone quite intensely for 2 months. I really like and care about them. We have a great time and I havnt felt this way about someone in a while. Dating is the pits and it seems like there is no one decent out there, at least that wants to commit. I am early 30s for context.
early on I knew they dabbled with drugs but I thought this was very occasional use, which I don’t have a problem with.
however, it has become apparent it’s every week (that I know about).
the person also obsessively exercises everyday because they say if they don’t then they feel like shit. I think this may be linked to the drug use.
sometimes I see them and they are so tired and hungover it’s not fun.
i have tried to gently broach the subject a couple of times but they clearly don’t think their use is a problem.
I did it with them a couple of times so I feel like now i can’t really say anything as I would be a hipocrete. I have made it clear to them that I have no interest in doing it more than 1 - 2 times a year as I don’t want to make a habit of it. I have stuck to this even though they have offered me some.
im actually starting to feel really sad for them. Im being trying not to cry at work today as i saw them yesterday and they were so hungover and seemed quite down but very affectionate and into me still.
I really care and want to help them.
has anyone had any experience of this sort of situation and does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
Bittenonce · 07/05/2025 11:59

Get out.
Now.
You can’t help, you’ll just get dragged down.
Seriously, this is the time to run, not walk.
I’m not going to pretend it’s easy walking away, but I’ll say it again -YOU CAN’T HELP

Bananalanacake · 07/05/2025 12:48

Don't move in with them. I'm hoping they work and haven't started asking you money.

Lighteningstrikes · 07/05/2025 14:30

Please don’t be naive and think you can save him.

Listen to people on here that really do know and are experienced, because you are onto a hiding of hell if you stay with him.

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