Is this a scam?

[Blueypeach]

My neighbour who is in her late 70s.
has been seeing a guy who is in late 50s.
has met a few times.
she said he was a complete gentleman.
cut a long story short. He has now been deployed to another country as he is a reserve for the navy. He rings her every day. But he won’t say when he will be back as he said he doesn’t know.
i just feel uneasy about it. He has been away for nearly 2 years! When I ask her about it she’s very positive. I just hope she’s not wasting her time.

SCAM!!!

He's got a wife elsewhere i bet

Has she given him money?

Has she physically met or pretended to when he in fact cancelled? Is she sending money for a “crisis”. Why would RN call up a 50 yo reservist? SCAM

This! It can’t be a true story. I hope he isn’t getting her to send him money for various trumped-up reasons. Is there a way you could delicately ask her, OP?

she has told me that he has never asked for money.
she is very bright and an independent lady.
I just think to myself what is he getting out of it.
they have been talking for 5 years and have met up half a dozen times. But hasn’t seen him in 2 years as he’s been deployed.
when you are a reserve surely they wouldn’t keep you for 2 years would they? He said he can’t FaceTime as it’s all confidential etc etc

He’s married and/or a long play scam - either emotional or financial

It’s a scam and he is a con artist.

Can’t see the navy having someone that age unless he’s a captain 👨‍✈️ and being deployed for nearly 2 years? I don’t think so. Does she have any relatives you could approach?

Could it be that he has never "asked" for money but she hasn’t told you that she "found out" he needed it and gives him money which he "reluctantly" accepts?

His tale about hush-hush deployment for two years can’t possibly be true. Sadly even intelligent people fall for scammers. Does she have any family you could speak to about your concerns?

She has some daughters but they live away. She has fell out with a couple of friends as they said he was a scam.
she will not believe it!!!!!
he has phoned her a few times when I have been there but only been on phone a few minutes. He does ring her everyday though.
just something not right.

I’m sure you’re right and he’s a scammer, but I don’t know what you can do about it. If you knew his real name you might be able to find out more, I suppose, but I don’t suppose he’s given her his real name. If you know her daughters at all I’d be tempted to contact them.

You are wise to be concerned. Romance scammers indeed play on the elderly and or otherwise vulnerable and play the long game.

Do you know her daughters personally?.

It’s a scam. She’s probably sending money but is embarrassed to tell you. Even super intelligent people can fall for these cons. Poor lady. If he’s not receiving money then he’s in the scam and playing the long game.

There may be the odd exception but it’s pretty rare that a man in his 50’s who is still fit and active enough to be a military reservist would be romantically interested in a woman old enough to be his mother.

It’s absolutely a scam of some sort and he’s lying through his teeth. Even if he was full time military he’d get leave - we’re not in a long running war.

Is he British?

Wasn’t there a documentary on tv last year with Kym Marsh and that was something to do with a scam about a woman losing all her life savings to someone pretending he was in the navy ?

I've just asked the Navy's AI chat.
They are never deployed for two years.
https://www.royalnavy.mod.uk/careers/royal-navy-reserves/life-in-the-reserves

His age is pretty suspect for a navy reserve as well. Im pretty sure at pushing 60 hes too old

https://www.express.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/1619285/scam-warning-romance-fraud-for-love-or-money-UK/amp

This guy pretended he was in the Navy in America .

I don't suppose this is he? He was 55 in 2020.

Lieutenant Mark Vickers, a Royal Navy reservist, scammed the force out of more than £70,000 but was kept on because of staff shortages. He'd planned to take a further 'employment bonus' of £25,000 after being made redundant using forged documents. His superior told the court Vickers had some mental health issues. Photo below.

I knew our forces had issues, but we're relying on criminals with mental health problems to defend us?!

https://archive.ph/jRZdb#selection-3445.11-3445.23

Mark Vickers in 2020.

Long term scam with this lady, seen a few documentaries on stuff like this can take them years

Wow thank you for your messages.
He is British.
thank you for the photo of the navy reserve scammer but that’s not him.
she is adamant that he will be back this year.
I think a lot of her family has fallen out with her since she has met him. They have tried to tell her to be careful.
when I tried to say be careful she snapped at me, so I choose not to comment now,I just listen and say yes in the right places. But breaks my heart at the same time.

Thanks for the update. It's really sad. There's a long thread just winding down about why people get involved with these. It could be a combination of reasons - but, once victims are invested, they cling to the illusion like limpets.

You could encourage her to ask the Navy's chatbot the same question I did (and more, I'm sure) on the extremely slim chance it might wake her up.

Those people are bastards. A lot of them are semi-enslaved workers in foreign call centres, being fed scripts by skilled psychologists to keep the marks hooked.