Is this a scam?

[Blueypeach]

My neighbour who is in her late 70s.
has been seeing a guy who is in late 50s.
has met a few times.
she said he was a complete gentleman.
cut a long story short. He has now been deployed to another country as he is a reserve for the navy. He rings her every day. But he won’t say when he will be back as he said he doesn’t know.
i just feel uneasy about it. He has been away for nearly 2 years! When I ask her about it she’s very positive. I just hope she’s not wasting her time.

@Blueypeach do you have enough information about him to do some sleuthing?

I expect until she has hard evidence she'll remain in denial.

You're right to be concerned.

If not a scam then a man with an agenda and not a good one at that.

No one is deployed for that long. He probably has another family on the go and this woman is definitely giving him money even if she says she isnt. There is a reason why he is hanging around.

This guy is real as she has met him half a dozen times.
I have suggested she could find out where he is etc and she said I know where he is.
she get a lot of information online.
she believes everything she reads.
he also says he’s out at sea a lot so he can’t always ring her.

He could be upto anything, loans,cc, change of will.what ever it is it will be to the ladies detriment.

She’s invested more of her time with this man than her own family, that says a lot. Deep, deep down she probably knows it’s a scam but would rather continue than not.

Smile and nod, It’s probably a scam but you can’t protect people from themselves.

Perhaps there are some Walter Mitty type documentaries you could watch together? Men lying about a fictitious military career are not unusual, even if not taking money. They're referred to as Walts.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-38085998

You can't help those that won't help themselves

Has she met him before they ‘reconnected’ or earlier in life and then he just popped up? The navy / army is a well known relationship scam: https://www.idnow.io/glossary/army-romance-scam/#:~:text=What%20is%20an%20Army%20Romance,to%20leverage%20an%20emotional%20relationship. - this is probably a US website but you get the drift.

just wondering if they are impersonating.

He’ll be in prison.

Absolutely this. That’s why she’s getting regular calls- he’s lonely and planning his next move once he’s released. And of course he won’t want to do video calls wearing that uniform. (Plenty of iPhones get into prison)

Fifty somethings have left the forces a long time previously.

Fifty something men of that ilk aren't usually chasing women 20 years their junior.

Sad for your friend but this guy is a con.merchant.