Have a home HIV test in my hand - too scared to do it

[KitkatTrack]

Name changed. Don't want to go into background just now but appears I have caught an STI from my ex (awaiting GP results confirmation), since then all I can think about it that he has also given me HIV. I brought a home testing kit from Terence Higgins Trust and I have it here and am terrified to do it. Results in 15 mins. I have no one in real life that I feel I can talk to about this. I've had it for a few days and was going to wait until DS(11) goes to school tomorrow. I understand the Terence Higgins Trust also has a helpline open then so you can do it with someone on the phone if they have someone available. But I have a burning desire to also do it now. I really need to know. I have planned for both eventualities, what I would do if pos or not positive, and who I would need to speak to etc etc. Its just the testing bit

Anyone done it home alone? Any advice?

Great news! As others have said HIV is not the death sentence it once was but still terrifying I am sure if you were to contract it. Well done for taking the test x

Well done for being brave and getting it done.

This was my first thought.

What makes you think your ex may have been HIV positive anyway.

There's every possibility you're worring unnecessarily.

Not that we can do much but lend an ear.
Deep breath, do the test.

Ignore...
Just seen it's done...

That's great news, I bet it feels like a weights been lifted. Well done for taking that step though, you'll sleep better tonight knowing

Is your partner known for sleeping with men?

Well done for taking the test op 🙂 you can sleep easy tonight now!

Congratulations on the negative test @KitkatTrack , but can I say that you should go to a GUM clinic and get tested for Hepatitis if you’ve not done so as frankly that would be as much , if not more , of a worry than HIV . Best wishes .

Do it at a time that gives you time. Don’t rush it, do in a panic but don’t draw it unnecessarily out either. If the result is unwanted you need to be somewhere and at a time where you have choices (to call someone, go somewhere etc). Your feelings and worries are totally understandable. The result is already the result so all you are doing is getting information and control. X

How is this relevant , lots of heterosexual people have HIV , just like lots of gay men do not .

Yes but the chances are higher if he’s been sleeping with men!

Phew! I'm so pleased for you OP. 😊

HIV is most easily transmitted during anal sex which is why gay men are particularly susceptible to HIV. Gay men are also more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviour (bath houses, group sex) which further increases the risk of transmission.

HIV is much less easily transmitted between men and women. The last time I checked, the risk of catching HIV from an infected partner during unprotected heterosexual sex was something like 1 in 1000.

I know several people who have been living with HIV for 30+ years — full, busy, successful lives. They're all coming up for retirement before long. I'm really concerned that anyone would think that it's some kind of death sentence.

@shuggles I am well aware of all the facts thank you

❤️ I couldn't bare the suspense so would do It now but also just wanted to say I'm thinking of you & hope all goes well

This is correct. There are studies that have shown that with early diagnosis and sustained treatment, life expectancy is only a few years shorter than the general population. It's completely different to how things were even just 20 years ago.

www.thelancet.com/journals/lanhiv/article/PIIS2352-3018(23)00028-0/fulltext

But you did ask "how is this relevant..."

Thanks for finding the evidence. I'm going to be staying in London in June with the first HIV+ guy I ever met, back in 1991 when we worked on a project together. It distresses me that people are still so ignorant about the disease.

Awesome, Yeyyyy 😃👏x15🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Awful knowing that had the likes of Freddie Mercury been diagnosed just a few years later they would still be here today.

Yes because I think that is something that the OP a would have mentioned .

Open the wine OP. Well done you!
It's positive to be negative ehh? xxx

OP didn't confirm either way, which is why someone asked the question. And indeed, it was clearly a relevant question to ask. Which is why I responded when someone asked "how is that relevant?"

OP I totally get it! An ex of mine turned out to be bisexual and on Grindr but also very in denial - worst combination because he was promiscuous but too in denial to take precautions. He started getting really paranoid about 'whether I could have given him HIV' and I immediately got tested...I was completely beside myself.

I was also terrified because a few months before I had had really bad sore throat with this weird difficulty swallowing, and when I read up, apparently these are symptoms of initial infection.

I did a lot of research and calmed down a bit practically, but also called Samaritans while I was waiting for my results and broke down, crying hysterically.

It was negative. Thankfully! I remember both learning how far treatments have come, and also how utterly terrified I felt.

Happy for you

Im glad it’s negative.

being protected and not catching it is the best thing, but luckily medicine advanced means HIV is no longer a death sentence and people can live completely normal lives as long as they take their medication.