Am I wrong

[shanavine]

Myself And my partner want to buy a house together.
I want to pay for half and Does she.
I have 1 grown up child and she has 2 kids in the early 20s.
My partner feels I'm not treating her 2 equally by not letting all 3 inherit evenly.
I want my child to inherit my financial input in to the house.
Her ex husband is wealthy and her 2 will probably inherit a lot from him.
Mine has a small inheritance from her mum.
So I'm trying to safeguard that.
Am I wrong?

no the right thing is yours inherits your half and her two inherit hers

that said this all sounds far to messy so I wouldn’t do it

I agree with PP. Even if you had it that yours was to inherit your half, with their mothers attitude they would probably contest it and cause all kinds of stress for your child at a time when they won’t want to deal with it. I wouldn’t buy a house with her.

You are not wrong.
To me, this is a very basic and foundational thing to be having different opinions on: I agree with pps and I would not do it either.

I would explain your point and then say you need to protect your own investment for your child, so if you can't agree, you'll have to bow out at this time.

Let her sit with it a bit without you being pushy or returning to it.

Well this sounds it’s going to be a lovely harmonious blended home.

This

Don’t do it! You clearly aren’t on the same page and your partner sounds entitled.

If she wants her 2 children to get two/ thirds then she will need to put 2/3s in everything.
Deposit, monthly payments etc

I would never put my children's inheritance at risk like this. I wouldn't buy with her.

Half and half inheritance. You’re half to your child and hers to her two DD. She can’t expect you to gift away part of your child’s inheritance. This is a black and white situation - if she can’t agree then don’t purchase together.

if you do agree 50-50 and end up buying make sure your will is watertight - get a specialist solicitor to draft it and if you’re appointing a joint solicitor it’s worth getting independent firm to review it from your pov to make sure her dds won’t be able to contest it.

It’s also worth adding a letter to be kept with your will setting out the very basic reason for the way it has been split. This will give your fighter further protection in the event that you pass away. Tenants in common ownership - not joint tenancy.

And forgive me for saying but your partner sounds a little bit grabby - which I don’t think is an attractive thing at all. Sometimes blending families works - but I think more often than not it causes issues (usually when you’re no longer here to see it).

don't do it. What if you die first? what if she dies first? it isn't insurmountable but it can be awkward and very difficult.

What her kids get from their father doen't come into it though in any case.

Half to yours.
Half to hers which can be split.
If you cannot agree now do not buy together.

I make you completely right and agree with a PP that she sounds rather grabby - she expects 2/3 of the inheritance when the property is only 1/2 hers.

I

I think you are right in that your half should be left to your child. But you need legal advice and possibly a trust set up. If you die before her, she could leave the entire estate to her blood children and nothing to yours. Some professional advice on how to protect your child’s inheritance is needed! Need to factor in all eventualities

Why does your partner think that her children are entitled to any of the investment that you put into the property?
If the two of you weren't in a relationship, they would only inherit any assets that belonged to her.... why should that be different because she is in a relationship?
I agree - your half to your daughter; her half to go to her 2.

Your partner sounds grabby and unfair
if ye are both putting in 50% , then it’s split 50/50 between your child and both of hers

She is talking about you not being fair to her children when it is she who is being unfair to yours, look after your child in the same way she is attempting to look after hers

It doesn’t matter. It’s still his child and the others aren’t.

I'd be very careful buying a house together, what will happen when one of you dies? Do you have wills? Are you planning on marriage? Have you considered inheritance tax when one of you does die? Lots of questions to think about.
But yes if you do proceed your half to your child and her half to her two children.
A similar question came up when my parents were writing wills re the grandchildren, I have one child, my brother two. Obviously if I die before my parents my half goes to my child and if my brother dies his half goes to his two children.

Yours inheriting your half and the other two her half is evenly, in my opinion.

Sounds like a headache in the making if it’s already this complicated for her, though.

Why is your OH even contesting this? Why on earth would she think it’s reasonable for you to split your DC inheritance with her two. She doesn’t sound nice so if you’re going to do this as another said please go to a specialist solicitor and get your will made very robustly and watertight!

This is entirely dependent on context. The initial investment you’re making now is probably fair to ring fence and put back to your respective children in the way it is put in. The accumulated growth after, split between all three children equally if you’re a blended family. But only if that’s how you want your blended family to work. That’s the conversation you need to have, depending on the age of the children, how you want to set the rules for your family etc… but it’s definitely a conversation you should have, and resolve, before you take such a big step together.

She's wrong. You are putting in 50/50 so your estate should be 50/50.

If you were to die first can you do something legally now to ensure she couldn't change it?

As others have said. Use a specialist solicitor - better to pay a few k now than your child lose a lot in the future.

I have always maintained that should I move in with GF, we lock everything to reflect what we put in. i.e. if we did buy and she put in 500k and I 250k, she/her kids would get 2/3 and mine 1/3, Or if it was 250k each then it would be split evenly.

It's not really a "blended family" if all the children are adults