How to overcome an aversion to mouth breathing?

[Shortbread36]

Some years after difficult divorce, my big sis has found a wonderful, kind new man. But she's never been with a mouth breather before, is struggling to get used to it, and on top finding it unattractive, suspects that it also contributes to his anxiety. He says no-one has ever complained before, refused to read "Breathe", but did go to the GP, who sent him to sleep apnea clinic (pointless - his mouth actually closes when he's asleep - it's the daytime that's the problem!). He now feels that it's "just the way he breathes" and that she needs to work on her hypersensitivity. Advice?

Whats wrong with mouth breathing?

She needs to accept that it's "just the way he breathes" and that she needs to work on her hypersensitivity.

Honestly if this is her only issue with this man then she needs to get over it before the crazy drives him away.

Send her to our house for a desensitisation course. DD and I have adenoid issues and loads of allergies and DH has a deviated septum. The whole family needs to breathe through our mouths as none of our noses work.

Mouth breathing is not good for you and it can be corrected. You can use nasal strips at night if it's difficult to breathe through nose, and severely deviated septums can be corrected via surgery. Don't just accept it as final. I have a slightly deviated septum and have used nasal strips for years.

I'm sorry, mouth breathing is contributing to HIS anxiety?!? How does his mouth breath affect your sister?

She's resolved her own anxiety issues through yoga, mediation in the past. He's quite an anxious person too, so feels he'd benefit from slowing it down (he breaths at double the rate she does). As for how it affects her: it's really quite loud unless the TV is on max volume!

I can only breathe comfortably through my mouth. I had a severely deviated septum and have had 2 operations to try and fix it but my nose is still about 70% blocked. If HE thinks it's an issue, I'd check out physical issues first. No amount of yoga would help if his nose is structurally damaged.

Honestly I don't care how 'good' somebody is, I could never date a mouth breather. I mean it's literally an insult, it's horrible. I struggle to be in the same room.

I can't imagine doing many things, sharing a romantic meal with they gasp for air and inhale between chews? Snoring and other noisy drooly sleep habits? Constant low level irritating noise?

Literally can't think of much worse. So unattractive.

This would bother me too.

LMAO these threads make me laugh.

Not all mouth breathers have sleep apnoea. I have done it since I was a child. I had no idea it wasn't the norm until I got to an adult 🤣🤣

Luckily I'm not a loud or heavy mouth breather. No one has ever noticed so no one has ever had an issue with it. We have nasal problems on one side of my family. I never feel like I can get enough air through my nose. Plus I get sinusitis. My partner of 18 years doesn't notice so we don't all breathe loud and weird. Or hang our mouths wide open.

I can't see the big issue, to be honest.

If it irritates her already, there's not much hope. This is the honeymoon period where she shouldn't really be noticing his annoying habits 😂

Respiratory physio is the answer

This would be the end for me. I find it deeply unattractive and mouth breathers usually have wet lips which is the worst. Sorry, don’t mean to offend anyone.

I agree he should get it fixed but more for his health. Mouth breathers also tend to have smellier breath

No no no he needs to fix it. Read 'Breath' by James Nestor.

Quite a lot, it can have health implications. It’s certainly not ideal. Can also contribute to anxiety, especially in cases like this where the breathing is fast (triggers the brain to respond as if to a threat).

Agree with the respiratory physio suggestion. If it’s structural then there’s fewer options, but otherwise you can retrain your breathing. Have to be willing, though.

She bought him a copy of "Breath" and asked him to read it, but he wouldn't. So that became a bit of a dead end

How do you get access to a respiratory physio? If they're willing to pay, is this something you can find privately?

I think you’re failing to acknowledge the issue. He doesn’t have an issue with his breathing. It’s not a problem for him. He went to the GP and sleep clinic at your sister’s behest. He thinks it’s her problem. He refused to read the book. He’s highly unlikely to seek out a respiratory physio. She can learn to accept his breathing as it is or end the relatiinship. Those are her only two options.

Yes. Obviously depends where you are. Some do sessions online.

Those saying he won’t go - well how fo you know?! He went to gp so maybe he will especially if it’s online and he doesn’t have to go anywhere!

Because he refused to read the book the OP’s sister bought him and is now saying it’s her issue to resolve her sensitivity around? It seems fairly unlikely he’s going to undertake a potentially expensive series of sessions to relearn breathing techniques, online or otherwise! I know from a friend who’s done it (post-Covid stuff) that it can be pricey — I think it was £150 for the initial consult with whoever her provider is? Lots of their clients have chronic lung problems — asthma, cystic fibrosis etc.

It’s a lot to ask for what sounds like quite a new relationship!

Yes but some people need to feel things are “medical” to take them seriously. Which he won’t have thought a book is. Anyway, neither of us knows do we because he hasn’t been asked.

Well I have been a registered nurse for years and had never realised that mouth breathing was a problem l