Husband has lost his job

[GARLANDGIRL2024]

My husband lost his job 2 weeks ago.
It was a well paid job. Our bills are so high including a monthly mortgage payment of £2,200
I have a well paid job but I cannot cover the bills, food shopping at petrol by myself!
He’s been applying for loads of jobs yet to hear back from any.
But I am stressing , when I think about it to much I feel like I’m physically suffocating. It’s causing me such anxiety and even had a panic attack last night. My husband is a very optimistic person and he’s not worrying half as much as me. Says he is being positive and he is very confident he will get a job interview soon.
we have 2 young kids, we cannot lose our home!
we don’t have any friends or family we can ask to help, we done have any savings to fall back on.
i wonder if anyone knows of any help we can get? I tried to call the bank yesterday to discuss with them and see if they can freeze our mortgage payments for a month or 2, but I was on hold for 40 mins then had to end the call to collect the kids from school.
thanks for reading x

We are in a similar situation but both have jobs still.
My job has been "at risk" on and off for 2.5yrs and it's blind luck I'm still employed
40 % of my company have been laid off now (tech sector) so we started planning for this kind of thing a while ago.

Our outgoings are high with not much to cut I'm assuming you are similar...

• What savings do you actually have? Is it actually nothing at all or do you structure crypto or S&S isas and you'd prefer not to touch it? I ask as It's hard to fathom high earners with kids have nothing, no security net, at all...
• Is your childcare at all flexible ie could you drop to 3 or 4 days a week -that would save you a lot of £££
• have you spoken to your mortgage provider to see what they can do? Specifically, about switching to interest only for a period or extending term to reduce monthly payments?

Job seekers is means tested? It also matter who else lives in your house and pays bills, or it was when I lost my job a few years back. Has that changed?

JSA used to be either income based (means tested) or contributions based (non means tested but based on NI contributions) - you now can’t claim income related JSA (replaced by UC) but can still claim conts based JSA (known as New Style JSA)

Depends where you live but he should involve the Union as he may have rights to a FTC. Had the whole ‘must apply for your role’ last year. I had been on a FTFTC for 18 months. They had to give me the job after I involved ACAS and the Union.

Was his losing his job anything to do with having an affair with a colleague ?

Oh I see, so it doesn’t matter what your partner earns for new style JSA?

We have just got through my DH's redundancy. Very stressful. He had five months of redundancy money / pay in lieu of notice / untaken holiday pay. He found a job in month six after spending those months aggressively job hunting full time. He was previously very senior - new job is a step down.

We got through it by renting a room on Airbnb. It's worked out well and we've decided to continue with it. Our house insurance allows us to Airbnb for 90 days without extra charge.

Not to be the voice of doom but the job market is brutal in most sectors at the moment. Saying this to avoid him taking too long out of 'optimism' to find the exact right thing as if you can't afford a lengthy period of unemployment he may have to start thinking outside the box a little. Eg contract/agency work which he can do whilst still looking for a perm job, just buys more time.

Indeed, a relative got a pay off of £200k (very senior role) and could claim JSA straight away as it's completely un means tested.

What I think of the politics of that I won't say on here!

Oh okay, that does seem bizarre as that’s a lot of money! I wonder why I wasn’t eligible? We really struggled financially! I had been self employed, maybe that’s why? Or maybe it didn’t exist then.

My savings went down the pan with all the price hikes like many others.

First things first, you are not alone! Creditors are well aware of the cost of living crisis and the difficult job market and have procedures in place to help their customers. You can also seek free debt advice from PayPlan or Stepchange (notify your creditors if this is what you plan to do.)
You need to draw up a list of all your outgoings and concentrate on your priority bills first. Based on your income alone work out what you can reasonably afford to pay on the mortgage, gas, electricity, water, tv licence. Offering something is better than offering nothing until you get back on your feet. Some bills you will probably have to pay the usual amount ie car insurance, road tax, phone contracts, food and petrol. Once you have all your figures, contact your creditors, explain your situation and offer what you can. Some creditors will put the account on hold for a short time ("breathing space"), others may offer payment holidays. It's a horrible situation for you to be in and I do empathise. I hope your husband finds employment quickly.

please please look into using the government mortgage charter. Contact your mortgage provider and they should give you the option of 6 months of interest only payments and/or extending the term to reduce repayments. these don’t have any impact on your credit rating (like borrowing on credit cards etc. will ultimately).

It helped us during my maternity leave and is absolutely what you should do right now for the sake of your family.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/mortgage-charter

No - but you can only claim for a maximum of 6 months.

He should be the one calling the bank, etc with what he has been putting you through. Why is it up to you to do that?

Strange question.

We were in this situation last year and it's absolutely awful. Sept 23 to July 24

My DH had been made redundant before and always got a job quite easily but it took 10 months last time.

He was optimistic and applied for literally 000s of jobs.

Things we did:-

Apply for job seekers. Its pitiful £400 ISH month but it something. DH was a v high earner and he still qualified so I don't think it's means tested

Cut back on our food bill/going out

We have got a bit of residual debt from the 10 months but have accepted its what we needed.

We were going to sell the car as that would have raised £30k but didn't need to in the end.

Defo speak to the mortgage co for a pause on your payments.

Re losing the home. We did a what if scenario. What if he can't get a job what happens?
We worked out that we could sell up pay off the mortgage and still have enough cash to buy a house outright - we wouldn't be destitute in a hostel. Once I had gone down that rabbit hole and faced it head on I felt better.

It's such a stressful time and hard for you as you don't want to make him worry more.i also stopped listening to the news as any information re the economy triggered me into a panic.
Your DH is probably very stressed and putting a brave face on it.

I don't think we're quite mentally recovered now but it's really good to be open with each other about your fears.

Good luck I hope he gets a job soon xx

It's not. OP has a thread from late last year about the husband having had an affair for two years that OP discovered.

Gosh, I'm so sorry you're going through this OP, I echo what others have said about contacting you mortgage provider, they will help you as much as they can as it's in their interests for you not to lose your home, keep them in the loop on what's happening, they are really helpful, what they don't like is when customers stick their head in the sand about their financial situation....

First thing to do is to speak to your mortgage company - either switch to interest only or take a payment holiday.
then do a brutal assessment of your spending. Shave off any unnecessary expenditure.

Don’t panic but do be organised. Prioritise the mortgage over everything else. Do the maths based on your take home pay and start making cuts now. It’s tough, but it’s temporary and it will pay dividends in seeing you through a lean patch.

New style JSA isn't means tested although if you receive a pension of some sort, the weekly amount is reduced appropriately, depending on the amount of the pension. But savings and investments are ignored

Hello Darling
If your husband was on PAYE for the last 2 years he should be entitled to Contribution Based JSA (Jobseeker's allowance) as other PP have said - this is not means tested & about £90pw. He will be able to get that for 26 weeks.

You probably won't get Universal Credit because of your earnings as this is mean tested.

Are you certain that you don't have some kind of insurance for your mortgage? Many banks & BS insist that you have this. Suggest that you check this.
I would also recommend that DH register with local agencies for temp work as this can often turn into permanent work - even if worse pay than his previous job, almost certain to be more than £90pw JSA.

Lots of job applications isn't necessarily a good thing. If he registers for JSA the Jobcentre will be able to refer him to someone who can take a look at his CV & see if it's effective. Not just the CV you need to have a good covering letter saying why you would be the best candidate for this job - the Jobcentre can help you with that as well.

The Jobcentre can also refer you to someone who can help you with your budget - worth a go.

Good luck Hun.

It isn't relevant how he lost his job.
The OP is stressed and asking for advice, she has absolutely no obligation to answer this question.

How would her answer change any advice given? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why did he lose his job @GARLANDGIRL2024 . What is your husband doing to rectify the situation? He should be on the phone to the banks , mortgage company.
kindly, is his loss of job linked to the affair he was having with his colleague for over 2 years ? https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5233122-husband-has-been-having-an-affair-for-2-years?