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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband has lost his job

176 replies

GARLANDGIRL2024 · 26/04/2025 07:48

My husband lost his job 2 weeks ago.
It was a well paid job. Our bills are so high including a monthly mortgage payment of £2,200
I have a well paid job but I cannot cover the bills, food shopping at petrol by myself!
He’s been applying for loads of jobs yet to hear back from any.
But I am stressing , when I think about it to much I feel like I’m physically suffocating. It’s causing me such anxiety and even had a panic attack last night. My husband is a very optimistic person and he’s not worrying half as much as me. Says he is being positive and he is very confident he will get a job interview soon.
we have 2 young kids, we cannot lose our home!
we don’t have any friends or family we can ask to help, we done have any savings to fall back on.
i wonder if anyone knows of any help we can get? I tried to call the bank yesterday to discuss with them and see if they can freeze our mortgage payments for a month or 2, but I was on hold for 40 mins then had to end the call to collect the kids from school.
thanks for reading x

OP posts:
HappiestSleeping · 26/04/2025 07:51

This is tough. I have been there although without children, but the worry is enormous.

What industry is your husband in? If it is technology I can hook him up with a really good agent.

Also, how did he 'lose his job'? Was it redundancy?

Upsetbetty · 26/04/2025 07:53

@GARLANDGIRL2024 this is not just for you to sort, you need to work together. I’m going to skirt around the big issue here and ask you why if you were on the phone to the bank did YOU have to leave to collect the children? Why couldn’t he do it? If he’s not at work, then he’s there to do those things. And if it was a case of he can’t or something like that then why couldn’t he take over the phone call? Sit him down discuss what’s going on explain to him that you are a team and you both need to figure this out. This is not just your burden to bear.

itsgettingweird · 26/04/2025 07:55

If your DH isnt working then why is t he doing the calls to bank and/or school run? You’ve enough stress.

Mortgage break is a good idea - try for 3 months if you can.

Also can be sign up with agencies to get ad hoc work whilst he applied for more permanent roles. If he can find agency work in his rile it can lead to something more regular or permanent.

Sit down and work out your outgoings - including any yearly payments such as insurance. Work out your outgoings and cut any that aren’t necessary.

Hopefully you’ll be left with more coming in than it and you can put money aside for annual payments.

Things may be tight for a while but if your mortgage is £2.2k you obviously both work in well paid roles and so hopefully you’ll get back on your feet quite quickly.

Long term if you both or one of you works in an industry this may happen again can you loon to move somewhere and get a smaller mortgage.

Im sorry you’re going through this - im not surprised you’re stressed Flowers

Olika · 26/04/2025 07:55

surely he can take some agency work to bring money in while he is looking for a suitable job?

Teribus21 · 26/04/2025 07:59

So sorry to hear this. You need a plan of campaign here which you need to make with your husband. His optimism won’t pay the bills. Plan to get through six months as it may take this long for him to get a job and get the salary coming in. Definitely ask the bank for a pause/deferral of mortgage payments. Then work out your budget. What can you cut? What can you sell? You may need to borrow. You will feel much less stressed if you do this. Best of luck.

MikeRafone · 26/04/2025 08:02

can your husband temp whilst he is looking?

has he signed on for job seekers - which isn’t means tested but important to claim as it keep NIC being paid - important later on and it lasts for 26 weeks

go through your budget for now and ditch anything you don’t need, subscriptions etc as it’s surprisingly how much these add up.

SmooothMoooves · 26/04/2025 08:13

We are in the same position OP. Its terrifying.

Savoury · 26/04/2025 08:13

Do you share finances? Are you aware how much he got as redundancy or exit settlement, and can you see the extent of his savings?
Do you have savings like ISAs?
I am not surprised you’re worried as in my field the market is as bad as I’ve ever seen it. Might be different for other fields of course.

Dery · 26/04/2025 08:13

Echoing PPs - if your H is not working, then he needs to do the school runs and ringing the bank. Why isn’t that happening? Is he pulling his weight on that side or just enjoying an extended break?

Bigsislookingforadvice · 26/04/2025 08:17

He can apply for job seekers allowance (contribution based) - no point in applying for UC due to your earnings it'll be nil by the sounds of it.
JSA isn't much (£90 pw ish) but it's something in the interim

deeahgwitch · 26/04/2025 08:21

I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. Did your husband get any redundancy payment that will cushion you for a little while @GARLANDGIRL2024as he continues the job search ?

LostMySocks · 26/04/2025 08:21

If a higher earner DH is likely to be in a role that has a notice period. Expectation would be that you get paid notice and then redundancy payment at the end of the notice period. Did he have gardening leave?
Can he look at contracting if for example in finance?

rubyslippers · 26/04/2025 08:24

Why did he lose his job? Is there redundancy ; payment in lieu of notice - anything which can help?
how many agencies is he registered with?
he needs to look at temp and immediate start short term roles
Cut back on everything for now - spend this weekend getting this done and his CV looking brilliant
it’s worrying for sure but his optimism won’t lead him to a job without plenty of effort

PicklesMacGraw · 26/04/2025 08:25

can you rent a room out?

MikeRafone · 26/04/2025 08:29

I rented a room to foreign students, many foreign language schools around

you can have an income from such or lodger up to £7.500 tax free between you.

maybe put the children sharing in one room to free up a room ?

RentalWoesNotFun · 26/04/2025 08:35

Oh no how awful no wonder you are stressed.

There used to be a “make a tenner a day” thread on here that could help him.

He needs to get anything he can to bring in money, no “Im waiting for the right job” crap that some people try it on with. Anything that brings in a reasonable sum of money for a month or whatever he can get via an agency would do. And sign up for whatever benefits he can get.

And as others have said, he should be taking over the household stuff in the meantime while you are working so you are both doing stuff and he isn’t out golfing while you’re in doing the exact same things you have always done.

Savoury · 26/04/2025 08:45

I should think hosting foreign students is out of the question if she’s also a high earner. If her husband hosts, he may need to drop everything again when he gets a job, and she has a job already they can’t lose.

thedancingclown · 26/04/2025 08:48

Your DH needs a reality check, even if he gets a job tomorrow it may be a while before that first pay check comes and he may have a salary drop.

You both need to sit down and organise a budget (if not already done so). Work out what can go, what needs to stay and can anything be put on hold (like the mortgage). This may help things feel back in control and less stressful for you.

Meanwhile is there any part time work he can do, agency, etc?

Smellslikeburnttoat · 26/04/2025 09:03

He needs to get a job doing supermarket deliveries or similar to help ease immediate pressure

Velvian · 26/04/2025 09:08

Definitely temp work, I've always done that in the past and always got something within a week, with weekly pay. Industry specific if possible, but any temp agency if not possible.

stripedrollerskates · 26/04/2025 09:14

Not sure why you don’t have savings or income insurance, but once he finds another job you need to get those things sorted.

KittytheHare · 26/04/2025 09:17

stripedrollerskates · 26/04/2025 09:14

Not sure why you don’t have savings or income insurance, but once he finds another job you need to get those things sorted.

What an incredibly unhelpful post, given that the Op has asked for advice in the here and now, not what they should do in the future to avoid this situation.

BlondeMummyto1 · 26/04/2025 09:19

Why did he lose his job? Did he get no redundancy?

He needs to get serious considering you have no savings. Maybe he can use some of this time to really look at your outgoings so that when he does get back into work you can start to save.

While he is dealing with the mortgage go through your bank accounts and cancel anything else you can too. Check your car payments, energy bills.
You might be spending over £50 a month on Amazon, Spotify, Disney+ etc without realising. If you have Sky get rid of it. Maybe you can switch to Sim Only phone deals. Then look at the food budget.

BlondeMummyto1 · 26/04/2025 09:19

stripedrollerskates · 26/04/2025 09:14

Not sure why you don’t have savings or income insurance, but once he finds another job you need to get those things sorted.

People live maxed up to the eyeballs.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 26/04/2025 09:22

If you are on the phone trying to sort finances, unemployed DH goes and collects the kids. That’s something you could have had an answer on before the weekend to potentially give you some piece of mind. Have you drawn up a full list of everything that needs paying and everything you spend? Can you sell a car or anything?

Why did he loose his job?