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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

They say your type is often someone who looks like you , would you agree?

59 replies

TaupeFatball · 24/04/2025 18:00

Yes for me

OP posts:
NamechangeJunebaby · 24/04/2025 21:55

I don’t think I have a type. I mean, I recognise an attractive guy when I see one, but the men I’ve fallen in love with in my life (only been twice) have looked the complete opposite of me. In fact now I come to think about it, the guy who I thought was the love of my life looked a bit like ratty out of wind in the willows. But I was attracted to his sense of humour and he made me chuckle on a daily basis.

It’s important to note that I have poor taste in men.

TheCurious0range · 24/04/2025 21:59

No I have red hair, blue/grey eyes, pale skin, DH has dark hair dark eyes and skin that tans in the 30 seconds it takes to put the bins out.
I've pretty much always dated dark haired men with the exception of one red head, never a blonde. Pretty much always tall too, but then I'm taller than the average woman.

ETA my family are all short, I'm taller than both of my parents and my brother and I'm not exceptionally tall. My mum is a redhead, brother reddish brown, both very pale, dad had light brown hair, and a slightly darker skin tone everyone in my biological family even cousins etc have blue/blue grey eyes

thecatneuterer · 24/04/2025 22:25

FleaBeeBob · 24/04/2025 18:07

My OH would be Miranda Hart we honestly could be twins - apart from our hair mines wavy and hers is poker straight. The walk, laugh, face its really quite weird seeing her on screen

And height? (Not that it matters - it's just interesting)

Arancia · 24/04/2025 23:03

Nope. I'm petite, dark brown curly hair, light brown eyes and pale. My husband is a massive viking with blonde straight hair, blue eyes and has slightly darker skin than me.

But, we do have the same values, morals, family ideals, religious and political beliefs, and the same view on maintaining more traditional gender roles.

Simonjt · 25/04/2025 06:00

No, I’m brown, I have straight black hair, the two people I’ve dated have been white, a petite build, light brown or blonde curly hair, different faceshape etc to me, so if we were the same colour we would still look very different. Neither person look like anyone from my family.

ChristmasFluff · 25/04/2025 08:37

The abusive ex was so similar looking to me that we could have been brother and sister. There are also a couple of photos of my Dad when he was in his 20s, and it's like looking at the ex. He looked more like my Dad than my own brother did.

NinjaMad · 25/04/2025 11:59

Yes and it's not about having the same colouring, you could be of different ethnicities but have the same shape nose or same shape eyes or forehead..etc. People who like how they look or close to their parents seem to favour partners who look like them.

Of course I do see couples who look absolutely different to each other but usually that indicates that their attraction had to grow and they are together for pragmatic reasons and/or they have deep insecurities with how they look or perhaps a seriously bad relationship with their parents that they can't bear to look at someone who reminds them of themselves or their parents. Again, not everyone marries or dates with full attraction and satisfaction of the other person's appearance, many of us compromise on attraction for the sake of more important qualities.

For example, Jojo and Chris in big brother right now, they look so similar with chubby baby face, delicate button nose, face shape. If you are at peace with your appearance you will be attracted to people who look similar to you, if you have a problem with your appearance, perhaps dislike your nose or hair you will choose someone who looks like the 'upgraded' version of you without that which you deem a problem feature in you, eg men with big roman noses choosing women with button noses, men with weak chins and jawlines choosing women with stronger more defined chin and jawline, slim man with curvier or overweight women (at point of dating not weight gained or lost later). However, a man who likes that he is slim and trim, who is proud of his nose and doesn't mean his softer jawline will be happy to find a woman who looks like him and won't look for his opposite features.

We are always subconsciously filtering people based on attraction to what will enhance our genetic off-springs. I don't know if this continues after menopause or if same sex couples feel this way though. I think it's fascinating and depressing how we evolve so much but remain animals at heart.

LovelyCupOfTeaThankYou · 25/04/2025 12:00

Yes, I notice this sometimes in couples.

NinjaMad · 25/04/2025 12:04

oh nevermind, I forgot pictures are no longer allowed! I was trying to post a pic of Jojo and Chris together face to face in big brother house to save the reader googling them up.

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