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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship life advice

41 replies

libra89 · 23/04/2025 23:41

Hi I asked my boyfriend if I could meet him for the may bank holiday weekend but he said he can’t as he has stag that weekend. That’s the only weekend I have off work as I’ll be working the next weekend. Just a bit annoyed that I can’t spend time with him. Any suggestion what I could do for that weekend as I don’t want to be on my own.

OP posts:
EBearhug · 23/04/2025 23:46

Friends? Family? Look online to see what events are happening locally?

madaboutpurple · 23/04/2025 23:46

Would you be able to go away with friends for the weekend?

Ohmeohmygoodness · 23/04/2025 23:49

" Stag weekend" ?
That would be enough to make me finish the relationship.
Do you really want to have a bf who does " stag weekends"?

MissJoGrant · 23/04/2025 23:52

Ohmeohmygoodness · 23/04/2025 23:49

" Stag weekend" ?
That would be enough to make me finish the relationship.
Do you really want to have a bf who does " stag weekends"?

Stag weekends are a completely normal thing.

Maitri108 · 23/04/2025 23:56

You don't seem to communicate very well. Stags are often arranged in advance yet he didn't mention it until you asked. Is he often like that?

Ohmeohmygoodness · 23/04/2025 23:57

MissJoGrant · 23/04/2025 23:52

Stag weekends are a completely normal thing.

Normal in what respect?

Yes I would say going out with his pals and doing activities is normal.

"Stag weekend " implies going out with other males and getting steaming and going to strip clubs / lap dancing clubs.

If he is just meeting his male friends why call it a stag weekend unless it is more seedy ?

libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:04

he probably forgets

OP posts:
libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:06

I could go with my aunt

OP posts:
Ohmeohmygoodness · 24/04/2025 00:06

libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:04

he probably forgets

He forgets what?

libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:07

He forget to tell me a few weeks ahead that he is going on stag night

OP posts:
libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:11

I could go alone too

OP posts:
Ohmeohmygoodness · 24/04/2025 00:14

So is one of his pals getting married and he forgot to tell you or is he just going on a spree with his pals rather than spending time with you?

libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:15

Stag weekends are mad. I’ve never been to a hen either and they both sound like nightmare to be in

OP posts:
libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:15

One of his friends is getting married

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 24/04/2025 00:18

libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:15

One of his friends is getting married

You need to use the quote button.

libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:19

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 24/04/2025 00:18

You need to use the quote button.

Thank you I’m new to this website 😊

OP posts:
libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:20

Ohmeohmygoodness · 23/04/2025 23:49

" Stag weekend" ?
That would be enough to make me finish the relationship.
Do you really want to have a bf who does " stag weekends"?

Stag weekends are mad. I’ve never been to a hen either and they both sound like nightmare to be in

OP posts:
libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:21

madaboutpurple · 23/04/2025 23:46

Would you be able to go away with friends for the weekend?

I could meet with aunt

OP posts:
libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:23

Ohmeohmygoodness · 24/04/2025 00:14

So is one of his pals getting married and he forgot to tell you or is he just going on a spree with his pals rather than spending time with you?

One of his friends is getting married

OP posts:
libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:23

Ohmeohmygoodness · 24/04/2025 00:06

He forgets what?

He forget to tell me a few weeks ahead that he is going on stag night

OP posts:
ItGhoul · 24/04/2025 00:34

Ohmeohmygoodness · 23/04/2025 23:57

Normal in what respect?

Yes I would say going out with his pals and doing activities is normal.

"Stag weekend " implies going out with other males and getting steaming and going to strip clubs / lap dancing clubs.

If he is just meeting his male friends why call it a stag weekend unless it is more seedy ?

’Stag weekend’ doesn’t imply that at all? What a very odd thing to say. A stag weekend can just be a night out in another city. It can be a weekend of paint balling and go-karting. It is literally just getting together with mates before you get married, exactly like a hen weekend. It’s no more likely to involve strippers on a weekend away than it is for a night in someone’s home town. One of my colleagues had several of his female friends and his sister at his stag weekend as well as his male friends; there were definitely no strippers involved!

MissJoGrant · 24/04/2025 05:41

Ohmeohmygoodness · 23/04/2025 23:57

Normal in what respect?

Yes I would say going out with his pals and doing activities is normal.

"Stag weekend " implies going out with other males and getting steaming and going to strip clubs / lap dancing clubs.

If he is just meeting his male friends why call it a stag weekend unless it is more seedy ?

Stag simply means his mate is getting married. It's a night our with the groom's friends to celebrate. There is absolutely no requirement to visit a strip club.

You just don't know what stag means.

HappiestSleeping · 24/04/2025 05:48

Ohmeohmygoodness · 23/04/2025 23:57

Normal in what respect?

Yes I would say going out with his pals and doing activities is normal.

"Stag weekend " implies going out with other males and getting steaming and going to strip clubs / lap dancing clubs.

If he is just meeting his male friends why call it a stag weekend unless it is more seedy ?

I went on a stag week to France. There was a lot of drinking, but we also took in the war memorials, and culture of the country. Not a stripper in sight.

CleanShirt · 24/04/2025 07:21

libra89 · 24/04/2025 00:20

Stag weekends are mad. I’ve never been to a hen either and they both sound like nightmare to be in

What are you basing your judgement on then?

I know someone that's going to the Titanic museum for their stag and another that went camping in the Lakes.

The last hen I went to was sober.

Are you very young? How long have you been together?

ReadTheBlurb · 24/04/2025 07:29

This is a weird thread with some unusual comments on it.

Stag weekend = male friends celebrating the upcoming marriage of one of the group. My husband's stag weekend involved renting a house in the country and going hiking. His best mate's stag involved doing an "ale trail" (countryside pub crawl getting a train to different northern English towns with quaint pubs). Yes some stags are raucous, but not always; totally depends on the group, the age/marital status of most of its members etc.

Likewise, hen weekends are also not always "mad". On mine we went quad biking and did a cocktail making class.

With regards to the original post, agree with PPs that you need to communicate better. A stag weekend will likely have been booked in months ago. Is your relationship fairly new? If so this may be why he's not mentioned it previously. Or maybe he's just forgetful. You need to retain your own life and identity outside of the relationship though, don't just depend on your BF to fill your social time.