Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

AM I IN THE RIGHT OR WRONG?

47 replies

Dadto31986 · 21/04/2025 18:41

Hi All

just looking to get some people take and opinions.

i am married to my wife and we have 3 kids. Everything is good generally. We have our ups and downs as i am sure most couples do - but these last few days we had a big argument over believe it or not Easter Eggs.

Our parents and extended family generally get the kids eggs for Easter. This year the way our schedule worked I couldn’t get to my mothers to get the kids eggs until today. However on Wednesday she had a last minute meeting very close to my work so she called and asked if I wanted her to drop them off. So I said if it’s not out your way and so ahead dropped them to me. I didn’t say anything to my wife I was going to give it as a little surprise on Sunday morning. Nothing more nothing less. My wife and I discussed that evening our Easter plans. I said I would get the eggs from my mum on Monday and didn’t disclose that she had already dropped them off to me. Anyway on the Saturday morning in conversation I said to her that I do have the eggs and so the kids will have them on the Sunday. From no where I was being called a liar and deceitful. In my eyes I was just going to give them a little surprise, her argument is I lied to her and should have told her I had them when we discussed it on the Wednesday night. I know it’s kind of petty but what’s peoples thoughts? Am I in the wrong or is there an over reaction??

OP posts:
GroupDiscountOnTheBusToHell · 21/04/2025 18:48

6 of 1, half a dozen of the other.
Sounds like she totally overreacted but it’s an odd thing for you to lie about in the first place.
Maybe she’s wondering what else you lie about being as you bothered to lie about such a simple, innocent, thing.

DuchessOfNarcissex · 21/04/2025 18:50

You lied. You were in the wrong.

ilovemydogandmrobama2 · 21/04/2025 18:53

The eggs are for the kids, so not sure why you wouldn't tell your wife about the logistics unless she is a believer ?

Eggsboxedandmelting · 21/04/2025 18:54

Being lied to isn't about the content of the lie but the fact she believed your words. Now she might doubt everything you say...

category12 · 21/04/2025 18:56

I don't really get why you lied. If you're giving the kids a surprise, you don't need to also hide it from your wife.

She's an adult, I'm sure she could handle keeping it as a surprise and it might have been nice to have it as a kind of bonding thing between you. Keeping her out of the loop is a bit odd.

It seems a strange nothingy thing to be arguing about 'though, all round.

Arlanymor · 21/04/2025 18:56

You lied to your wife and she overreacted somewhat (I think the words she used sounded unnecessary). So 50/50. Presumably you've both worked through it now as if you haven't that is the real problem and I wonder why you are posting about it on a Monday night? Why are you hanging on to this? Isn't it done and dusted now?

altmember · 21/04/2025 18:58

Did your lie mess up the household's plans for Easter Monday?

gamerchick · 21/04/2025 18:59

It's a weird thing to lie about OP. I'd be wondering what else you lie about tbh. If she went off on one, I'd be thinking that this isn't the first time you've poked the bear like this and she's getting a bit fed up.

Shmee1988 · 21/04/2025 19:03

Kind of sounds a bit like you'd made so sneaky alternative plans for that morning, then they fell through and you came clean about the eggs.

londongirl12 · 21/04/2025 19:07

Did she have stuff planned for today and then you messed it up? No idea why you didn’t just tell her. Sounds weird to lie about something so trivial. Have you done this before, the little white lies?

Flopsythebunny · 21/04/2025 19:09

I don't understand why you just didn't tell her that your mum had already dropped them off, then you added to the lies by saying that you were picking them up on Monday.

Pickledpeanuts · 21/04/2025 19:10

Both of you acted very oddly. I don't understand why you'd lie, the eggs were for the kids so it would hardly be a nice surprise for your wife. Her reaction seems OTT.

It feels like there is some missing context that would make a difference to this.

Hoppinggreen · 21/04/2025 19:11

My cousin supposedly divorced her H due to a lie about a plant that did/didn't die
It wasn't really about the plant

DoYouReally · 21/04/2025 19:12

This is what some men don't understand and do regularly.

You lied about something where there was absolutely no benefit to lying. There was no gain in keeping it from your wife. It may have been a surprise for the kids but there was no reason not to mention it to your wife.

You lied over nothing major with ease and no logic. She'll be trying to understand why lie because there's no logic reason so therefore assumes you will like over other things too.

It's stupid. You had nothing to gain.

PopThatBench · 21/04/2025 19:16

This would really bother me.
It was about children’s Easter eggs, not a proposal or a secret birthday party you’d planned for her.
I’d see it as a really unnecessary lie and it would make me uncomfortable how easily you lied about something so unnecessary.

She seems to have overreacted but are you a frequent liar? Is she fed up of it?

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 21/04/2025 19:17

How was it a pleasant surprise for DW? I don't get it. For DW it was a lie. A pointless pathetic controlling lie. And now your faux shock "why is DW upset?"

Grow the fuck up

For the children, yes, a nice surprise. Earlier eggs. Good idea to keep it a secret from the children as it gives them pleasure

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 21/04/2025 19:21

Really odd thing to lie about.

I generally find that it's not a good idea to lie in a relationship, not about things that can be proved factually.

Yeah, the occasional "Yes, you look lovely in that", or "No, I love listening to you talk about Lego" is fine, but lying about things that have actually happened, even small lies generally lead to people not being able to trust you about the big stuff.

Cucy · 21/04/2025 19:37

GroupDiscountOnTheBusToHell · 21/04/2025 18:48

6 of 1, half a dozen of the other.
Sounds like she totally overreacted but it’s an odd thing for you to lie about in the first place.
Maybe she’s wondering what else you lie about being as you bothered to lie about such a simple, innocent, thing.

This!

Her reaction was way over the top but it’s also a weird thing to lie about.

This is obviously part of a much bigger issue.

Pineapplewaves · 21/04/2025 19:58

It’s very strange that you didn’t say to your wife “Mum came round and dropped off the kids Easter Eggs” the next time you saw her. It’s even more strange that you told your wife you were going to collect the eggs when you already had them. Even if there was an egg in the bag for your wife, the surprise of getting the eggs on Sunday morning wasn’t spoiled.

Where were you going to go on Monday, when you went to collect the eggs you already had? I’d be suspicious if I were your wife.

Newmumburnout · 21/04/2025 20:35

I think you holding back the info of the eggs is odd and your wife's reaction was odd. I suspect your wife has reason to think you lie in other aspects

Smidge001 · 21/04/2025 20:40

You are in the wrong! You lied. How can you say "from no where I was being called a liar" with a straight face? You literally explained to us that you lied. So of course she called you a liar. As do I. You're a liar.

Clementine183 · 21/04/2025 20:41

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 21/04/2025 19:17

How was it a pleasant surprise for DW? I don't get it. For DW it was a lie. A pointless pathetic controlling lie. And now your faux shock "why is DW upset?"

Grow the fuck up

For the children, yes, a nice surprise. Earlier eggs. Good idea to keep it a secret from the children as it gives them pleasure

How on earth was this controlling? It was a bit of a weird thing to keep secret, yes, but hardly dark and sinister... agree with others that it sounds like for your wife this may not really be about the Easter eggs, but in isolation her reaction seems over the top. I suppose technically it was indeed a lie, but surely a "white lie". It sounds like OP just thought it would be a nice surprise and didn't really think it through.

Energe · 21/04/2025 20:41

You lied. You’re wrong

pinkyredrose · 21/04/2025 20:44

What a dumb thing to lie about.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 21/04/2025 20:47

Why did you lie to your wife, and what's the back story about your lying?