Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

When do you stop nieces/nephews birthday/Christmas money?

52 replies

BreathingIn · 20/04/2025 15:52

Each Xmas, we put £150 in a card for DP's nieces/nephew with the understanding that it covers birthday and Xmas.

We're not close, it's a token gesture really.

One of the nieces turns 18 this year. To me, that's a logical point to stop giving this money.

What do you think? When did you stop giving nieces/nephews Xmas/birthday money?

OP posts:
Horationor · 20/04/2025 15:53

We stop at 18, then do it for 21st, 30th etc

Bluesprinkles12 · 20/04/2025 15:58

I think it depends on how close you’re to them. My niece is 16 and I don’t plan to stop anytime soon/ever but if you don’t see them often then 18 is a reasonable time to stop.

Original poster
BreathingIn · 20/04/2025 16:00

Thanks. We're not close at all.

OP posts:
PoliteBee · 20/04/2025 16:06

£150 and you're not close! How much do close family get?

ForTheNightOrTheRestOfTime · 20/04/2025 16:09

Our nieces and nephews are in their early 20s and we don’t plan on stopping. If you’re not close though, then 18 seems a good age to stop.

IggyAce · 20/04/2025 16:10

My aunts stopped at 18 and my dd has just turned 18 (1st of the great nieces and nephews) and one aunt has stopped gifts. I intend to stop at 21 because I know my nephews are planning to go to uni.

stopringingme · 20/04/2025 16:50

We stopped at 18.

JockTamsonsBairns · 20/04/2025 16:52

I stopped once they finished Uni, and were earning more than me!

It was £30 in a card to two nephews. I'm very close to them, but that's all I could afford.

UtterlyOtterly · 20/04/2025 16:54

End of primary school here but we're not close, and not receiving thank yous from the parents, or the children as they got older, made it all seem a bit pointless.

Motheranddaughter · 20/04/2025 16:55

Mine are in their 20 s and I have no intention of stopping
But we are very close
On DH’s side his sister wanted to stop at 21 so he went along with that

Whynotaxthisyear · 20/04/2025 16:55

I’ll stop when they are earning well probably.

InMyOpenOnion · 20/04/2025 16:56

We stopped at 18th birthday, and for Christmas they joined the adult secret Santa at 18.

CalypsoCuthbertson · 20/04/2025 16:57

It’s a lot of money if you’re not close! I do about £30 on presents for each niece each Christmas and birthday, only see them once a year or so. I think it’s totally reasonable to stop at 18.

Birdseyetrifle · 20/04/2025 17:02

Crickey my nieces are 26, 21 and 18 and I still bung them a bit of cash for birthday and Christmas and even do it for eldest nieces boyfriend. I’ll probably stop if they have kids as I’ll be getting them presents but can’t think why I would give them a token bit of cash now.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 20/04/2025 17:12

I'm not sure yet. With close friends' children I stop at 21 (only four children).

With nieces and nephews I'll definitely keep going until 21. Eldest will be 21 this year actually but just starting uni this Sept so may keep going until they finish. In which case I'll have to keep going with next youngest who will be 19 and already at uni... I think 25 might be my answer 🤔

Tameys · 20/04/2025 17:50

You have been extremely generous.
Now is a perfect time to stop if you wish.

SchrodingersTwat2 · 20/04/2025 17:52

I don't even spend £150 on my own children!!

Zanatdy · 20/04/2025 18:17

Friends kids I stop at 18 but not nieces / nephews, but not £150 each. Way too much.

ChristmasFluff · 20/04/2025 18:17

My nieces are in their 40s and they still get Christmas and birthday presents from me, but we are a close family and no way would that sort of money be expected! So it's really up to you and what suits your situation.

ChidisGargdener · 20/04/2025 19:22

I went to 25. But always been token amount £25. Who doesn't like free money on their birthday! But wanted to stop at point they might feel obliged to get me something.

Tigerlilian · 20/04/2025 19:31

18 but with something for 21st.

kaela100 · 21/04/2025 02:09

I never would stop for my neices and nephews. My husband would never stop for his neices / nephews. What would stop would be the extra (often joint) effort we make for the ones we aren't personally close to. And me being me there is a lot of that extra effort - eg mini parties etc. After 18 I'd expect the kids to understand that they can only expect this from me if they talk / make time to see me.

Pemba · 21/04/2025 03:06

Have I got this right, there's 3 kids and you give £150 once a year to cover Christmas and birthdays? So £25 each on each occasion. I don't think that's excessive.

If you want to stop I would phase it out more gradually, because it seems a bit unfair on the younger ones to stop just because the oldest turns 18. Most 18 year olds are still at school. I would stop at 21 instead maybe.

Unless they are exceptionally annoying and ungrateful kids!

3678194b · 21/04/2025 03:10

I would say 18, but in practise I'll wait for my nieces/nephews parents to say 'don't buy for x this year' etc.

My DC are younger so I'll have to take their lead but would expect, and be happy, for it to stop at 18 for us all.

DoYaKnowTheFiveLamps · 21/04/2025 03:29

I’m close with my 17yo and 14yo nieces and will probably stop at 21(?) but if you aren’t close then I’d say 18