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Relationships

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What happened in that week??

34 replies

LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 09:51

Just over 2 year relationship ended a couple of months ago. I was absolutely heartbroken at the time, but I'm starting to feel better now.

There were a few things that contributed to the end, including my insecurities (which I fully take on board need addressing) but there's a particular thing that I'm finding myself obsessing over and just wanted some unbiased opinions.

One of the factors that came up regularly was infrequent sex. We were only 2 years in, so generally still the honeymoon period I would think? Due to children we could only see each other one overnight a week and every other weekend, so opportunities to be intimate were arguably rare. I was "up for it" more than him and did get upset sometimes when it didn't happen. Disappointed, but never confrontational about it.

He told me that "sex isn't up there for me in a relationship" and that other things are more important, such as care, consideration and doing thoughtful things for each other. I agree that these things are extremely important, but I think sex is too.

The last weekend we saw each other, we had t had sex in 2 weeks. He made a comment about going to bed to watch a film and fall asleep and I said "oh, so that's no sex again then" or something along those lines. This ended up being a long conversation about how I felt a bit undesired. At no point did I raise my voice or get angry, I just wanted to talk I t through. He got very animated and upset. Due to porn being discussed in the past a d there being a niggling thoughts in the back of mind, rised this and asked if he thought perhaps watching a lot of porn might impact his desire to have actual sex. I asked him if he thought he had a compulsion. He said "yes". He was a bit drunk if that's relevant.

We talked a bit more and I made it clear that I was not judging him, I just wanted him to understand how saying that sex wasn't important to him and the porn compulsion thing is hard to hear.

We agreed a few days space. 3 days later he sent me a pic of a book he'd bought about your brain on internet porn and a screenshot of an app he'd downloaded to track usage. Said he "understood where I was coming from" first few chapters made sense etc. that we'd talk in 10 days or so when he'd had chance to "sort himself out"

A week later... He didn't have a problem, he "capitulated", it's my insecurities and he finished it. To my utter shame I begged, he said we'd talk again in a couple of days. He then ghosted me for a week before coming back with other reasons it wasn't working that were new to me.

What the hell happened in that week? How can you go from buying a book and app (days after the conversation) to it not being a problem at all?

I know I wasn't perfect in this relationship, but I'm so confused by all of this.

OP posts:
HeatedBlanketAllYear · 20/04/2025 10:00

If you’re looking for answers, you’re not likely to find them here. Whatever happened for him, it’s over. Trying to understand another person is pointless. It’s better to focus on doing what you need to do to stay well and move on from what sounds like quite a damaging relationship. I know it’s not easy but you have to accept that you may never know and find a way to be ok with that. Time helps.

BabyOrca · 20/04/2025 10:02

He was a porn addict.

For a brief window of time, he thought he needed to change and would do his best to do that.

Ultimately though the addiction was stronger.

It's not your fault. Stop seeing it as a sex issue, and take it as: you were dating and addict.

LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:03

I know I'll never know.

I think I'm just looking to try and understand if my insecurities were actually rooted in anything. Because those two statements really upset me. And the contradictions from him have completely confused me.

OP posts:
LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:05

BabyOrca · 20/04/2025 10:02

He was a porn addict.

For a brief window of time, he thought he needed to change and would do his best to do that.

Ultimately though the addiction was stronger.

It's not your fault. Stop seeing it as a sex issue, and take it as: you were dating and addict.

This is what I'm leaning towards.

On the one hand (although I can't ever imagine doing this myself!) maybe he admitted something not true when drunk, but 3 days later stone cold sober is when he bought the book and app!

OP posts:
Pandimoanymum · 20/04/2025 10:10

Sound like he was telling the truth when he was drunk, and he knows he has a problem because he bought the book etc when he wasn't drunk, but after a few days the reality of giving up his addiction is setting in and he can't do it. Easier to blame you for relationship ending.

LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:14

Pandimoanymum · 20/04/2025 10:10

Sound like he was telling the truth when he was drunk, and he knows he has a problem because he bought the book etc when he wasn't drunk, but after a few days the reality of giving up his addiction is setting in and he can't do it. Easier to blame you for relationship ending.

I know, it's starting to seem that way.

I just can't imagine for example, admitting to a gambling problem, buying a book etc if I didn't think deep down there was a problem.
Then 180 a week later!

OP posts:
LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:16

Don't get me wrong, I definitely had a hand in the problems we had. He suggested I needed therapy for my insecurities, so I quickly started therapy within that week of silence to try and address them. But now I'm wondering if my insecurities were justified after all!

OP posts:
JohnKettleyIsAWeathermanAndSoIsMichaelFish · 20/04/2025 10:18

I’m sorry but he chose porn over you.

Pandimoanymum · 20/04/2025 10:21

LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:14

I know, it's starting to seem that way.

I just can't imagine for example, admitting to a gambling problem, buying a book etc if I didn't think deep down there was a problem.
Then 180 a week later!

You'd be amazed the mental gymnastics people will go through to convince themselves they don't have a problem.
My dad was an alcoholic for a long time. Not the same thing, I know but an addiction all the same. He could spend an entire week in his pyjamas, unwashed, just drinking, lying in bed and causing my mum and me & siblings all that worry- then suddenly get up, wash dress and come downstairs and act like nothing had happened. It was quite bizarre. My sister once managed to get him to go to an AA meeting with her, but he came home and said "I'm nothing like those people" 🙄

Pandimoanymum · 20/04/2025 10:24

Well, you might have insecurities that contributed to the relationship ending, but the difference is you were making a concerted effort to change that. He's not.

RainySummer01 · 20/04/2025 10:24

He told you sex wasn’t important to him in a relationship. It’s important to you and there wasn’t enough. You wouldn’t have been happy long term anyway. I wouldn’t take much notice of the book as I’m not sure how relevant that is. You both have different sex drives.

SirRaymondClench · 20/04/2025 10:32

LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:16

Don't get me wrong, I definitely had a hand in the problems we had. He suggested I needed therapy for my insecurities, so I quickly started therapy within that week of silence to try and address them. But now I'm wondering if my insecurities were justified after all!

He is disgusting for suggesting it's your insecurities causing problems when your insecurities were caused by his porn addiction. Why wouldn't you feel insecure and undesired when he was wanking over porn and couldn't perform with you?
It's him not you.

Imbusytodaysorry · 20/04/2025 10:33

LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:16

Don't get me wrong, I definitely had a hand in the problems we had. He suggested I needed therapy for my insecurities, so I quickly started therapy within that week of silence to try and address them. But now I'm wondering if my insecurities were justified after all!

How is therapy going ? Is you therapist not helping dealing with this ?

Imbusytodaysorry · 20/04/2025 10:33

SirRaymondClench · 20/04/2025 10:32

He is disgusting for suggesting it's your insecurities causing problems when your insecurities were caused by his porn addiction. Why wouldn't you feel insecure and undesired when he was wanking over porn and couldn't perform with you?
It's him not you.

Yes exactly !

LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:36

SirRaymondClench · 20/04/2025 10:32

He is disgusting for suggesting it's your insecurities causing problems when your insecurities were caused by his porn addiction. Why wouldn't you feel insecure and undesired when he was wanking over porn and couldn't perform with you?
It's him not you.

In fairness, I had insecurities before I met him. It's just that this didn't help!

I just can't square the "sex isn't important to me, but I watch a lot of porn "
Evidently he does have a high sex drive, just not with real people.

OP posts:
LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:38

Pandimoanymum · 20/04/2025 10:21

You'd be amazed the mental gymnastics people will go through to convince themselves they don't have a problem.
My dad was an alcoholic for a long time. Not the same thing, I know but an addiction all the same. He could spend an entire week in his pyjamas, unwashed, just drinking, lying in bed and causing my mum and me & siblings all that worry- then suddenly get up, wash dress and come downstairs and act like nothing had happened. It was quite bizarre. My sister once managed to get him to go to an AA meeting with her, but he came home and said "I'm nothing like those people" 🙄

Gosh, I'm so sorry you went through that, that's awful 💐

That's exactly what he said. That he'd watched a documentary about porn addiction a d that there were men who never left the house because of it. So his take on it was that because he wasn't that severe, it wasn't an issue

OP posts:
LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:39

Imbusytodaysorry · 20/04/2025 10:33

How is therapy going ? Is you therapist not helping dealing with this ?

Therapy is going ok thanks, slow but ok.
I also lost a parent last year, so I need help with working through that too.

OP posts:
NameChangedOfc · 20/04/2025 10:41

Porn addict in full denial.

Pandimoanymum · 20/04/2025 10:46

LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:38

Gosh, I'm so sorry you went through that, that's awful 💐

That's exactly what he said. That he'd watched a documentary about porn addiction a d that there were men who never left the house because of it. So his take on it was that because he wasn't that severe, it wasn't an issue

Thank you, it's a long time ago and he was only like that in his later years. Us children were all adults (I was 19 and still living at home) so it didn't affect our childhoods. He was a lovely dad most of the time 🙂
But yes, sounds like your partner is doing the same thing-minimising the problem or convincing himself that there isn't one. Unfortunately, whatever the addiction is, they won't change until they can admit it to themselves. That's always the first and most important step.

LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:49

The fact that he didn't even give me a chance to have some therapy and work on my insecurities really stings.

OP posts:
HappyFitnessQueen · 20/04/2025 10:52

Is it possible that he's confined in someone who has told him that he doesn't have a problem? That someone likely to be another man with a porn addiction.

HappyFitnessQueen · 20/04/2025 10:53

Oops *confided

LunaDrift89 · 20/04/2025 10:56

HappyFitnessQueen · 20/04/2025 10:52

Is it possible that he's confined in someone who has told him that he doesn't have a problem? That someone likely to be another man with a porn addiction.

Yes, that thought has definitely crossed my mind.

I just don't get how he can behave like he thinks he has a problem in the cold light of day, then a complete reversal after a week.

And for the most part could only finish after sex if he did it himself...

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 20/04/2025 11:01

RainySummer01 · 20/04/2025 10:24

He told you sex wasn’t important to him in a relationship. It’s important to you and there wasn’t enough. You wouldn’t have been happy long term anyway. I wouldn’t take much notice of the book as I’m not sure how relevant that is. You both have different sex drives.

This You weren't right together and it's best that he ended it. A relationship where you see each other so infrequently shouldn't be so difficult.

Letsummercommence · 20/04/2025 11:02

Porn is about orgasms and not a lot else. Sex is about connection, intimacy, fun and lots of other feelings as well as orgasms.
It's loads easier to just sort yourself out, especially if you aren't 100% into someone.

I'm sorry he wasn't the one. There are others out there.