Please don’t judge me, what are the chances of pregnancy?

[Needtojustendit]

Happy Easter Sunday everyone!

Please can I not have any hateful comments on this. It’s been a really rough few months and I’m already really anxious. I just want to know how worried I should be.

Been dating someone a month. He has never used a condom or so much as asked if I’m on any form of contraception. It’s concerned me so I’ve made an appointment to have a coil fitted… that doesn’t fix this issue though. My last period started the evening of the 6th April. Had sex Thursday 17th and Friday 18th. I checked with him and he did ejaculate inside me. What are the chances of pregnancy? I’m shitting myself. My period is apparently due 3/4 May and I’m on holiday abroad then. I’ll have a fairly good idea if I get back and I haven’t started my period but I’m extremely anxious.

Depending on your age, 10-20%. Sounds like it was in your fertile window, so it could happen.

He has never used a condom or so much as asked if I’m on any form of contraception. It’s concerned me so I’ve made an appointment to have a coil fitted

Why didn't you ask him to use a condom?
Has he had an std check? Have you?
Assume you're an adult.

Looking at your thread history, you need a break from men. You've been through an incredibly rough time and your emotions are all over the place.

You know a decent man will talk contraception, he is not a decent man.

10-20% is less than I thought so thank you for that! It’s a little reassuring.

Yes he’s had a std check. Weirdly he’s pretty hot on that… contraception not so much.

Yeah, I know. I wasn’t ready to date. Couldn’t deal with any conflict and now I’m stressed about another problem. I thought dating would help see that there were ‘normal’ men out there but it’s just made everything worse.

Take some time to look after you! Be nice to you, go for a walk, just be kind

What are your thoughts on contraception? You sound as though you think all of the responsibility sits with him. Which it doesn't, obviously, especially if you want to prevent pregnancy.

How is going for a walk going to help? 'Be kind' to who?

My thoughts on contraception are that I’m clearly an idiot if I’m being totally honest. I’ve been moving house and trying to handle multiple stressful situations at once.

My last relationship (if you can even call it that!) he couldn’t get it up so it wasn’t really an issue. I booked a coil fitting but I should have insisted on condoms. The absolute worst part is he wants children and I don’t think this was carelessness.

Do you believe him about the sti check? He could be riddled!
Govto a chemist today and get the morning after pill. You have a 72 hour window.

If you're in your twenties or early thirties then I think there's around a 1 in 5 chance of pregnancy.

The earliest home pregnancy tests can be used 5 days before your period.

Maybe go to your local pharmacy or gp and talk about options re morning after pill.

My rule of thumb is I never have sex with someone I don't feel comfortable talking to. All PIV sex risks pregnancy. If you're not comfortable talking to a man about contraception, would you be comfortable raising a child with him? No, so then I'm my opinion it's best not to have sex with them at all.

You can use emergency contraception 3-5 days after unprotected sex.

If you want a coil fitted anyway that could be a good option? Is there somewhere you can get to today?

Look after yourself

https://www.nhs.uk/contraception/emergency-contraception/

OP, don’t just hope for the best, get to a pharmacy and get some emergency contraception. There’s a brand (known as ellaOne in the UK) that can be taken five days after sex. You’re on holiday; if necessary you can use the Translate app on your phone to explain what you need. Take control. You can do this.

Get the morning after pill. Don’t take any chances. You don’t really know this person. He seemed to want a child but he doesn’t even know you after only a month. And you didn’t have any discussions about contraception so it all seems a bit underhanded. This doesn’t sound like a safe person. It doesn’t look like a good situation for a child to be born in and it doesn’t look like a healthy situation for you either!

He doesn’t use contraception when you have sex. You know he wants children and you doubt if it was carelessness his lack of contraception and you’ve known him a month. I wouldn’t bother with the coil fitting, I would just focus on ending this and making sure you get some clarity of what he does to make sure you stay away from him.

The morning after pill is less effective the longer you wait to use it. I don’t know if you will a chemist open on Easter Sunday. It also works by delaying ovulation, so if you have already ovulated then it won’t work. If it does delay ovulation, it will make your cycle longer so your next period will be late so you might need to take a pregnancy test on your return from your holiday either way.

Be kind? Go for a walk? Nahhh this is why people make stupid decisions. They get comforted for making crazy decisions.

Stop shagged men with no protection for god sake.

Its impossible for anyone to tell you how likely it is that your pregnant. Even if low chance doesnt mean to say you arent pregnant. You had completley unprotected sex so that's all you need to know. Morning after pill is that still an option for you x

It is absolutely carelessness- yours and his.

2 consenting adults are both responsible for contraception however, as the female it’ll be you who lives with the enormity of choosing not to use it.

Why didn't you get the morning after pill. Surely that was the sensible thing to do if you forgot about contraception because of moving house.

I’m in the process of ordering the morning after pill. Thank you everyone

Take some time to work on your boundaries so you don’t take a risk like this again. How old are you ? The older then better in this case though you should not ever rely on chance, I feel pregnant with my dc1 with my longer term partner while i wasn’t at my most fertile, even though he we over the moon, I wasn’t at 29.
At the moment your poor choices are causing you stress you don’t need and I hope you have the best outcome here.

Good luck with the MAP, will it arrive on time?

Do not have any further sex with him without a condom that YOU have provided and put on. Given that you suspect that his lack of contraception was deliberate you do not want to risk worrying that he is sabotaging condoms.

Have your coil, too, but a man who has non safe sex with people he is ‘dating’ simply cannot be trusted to be STI free.

Maybe protect yourself more by not having
sex with men you don’t 100% trust.

Take great care of yourself OP: that’s what gives you the best security and peace. Proper care of yourself.

I would go to pharmacy. Don’t wait to order it. Look up how effective it is after 48 hours ect. Google your nearest pharmacy as there should be some open before the bank holiday. It’s worth a shot.

Agree with PP - if you can get to a pharmacy that’s open today (and there will be some; we had to go to a pharmacy on Xmas day some years back), that would be better.

Also, you sound too vulnerable to be having sex right now as you don’t seem to have the confidence to insist on condoms with a new man (and condoms are a must really, with someone new) and you haven’t taken any steps yourself to avoid pregnancy.

I will be the first to admit that I’m not in the right headspace for dating right now and it was a stupid decision on my part.

Morning after pill apparently doesn’t work after ovulation? I’m going to take it anyway but I’ve got a bad feeling.

As for him… I’ve told him I’m worried about pregnancy and he seems completely unconcerned. His exact words were ‘I’ll worry about it when there’s confirmation’. Literally from before I’d even met him he was talking about pregnancy a bit too much… mentioning he wants a child… would want 50/50 custody of said child if he wasn’t with the mother. He was drunk one night and during sex told me it would be ‘ok’ if I got pregnant. I did stop him that time because it freaked me out so much.