Please don’t judge me, what are the chances of pregnancy?

[Needtojustendit]

Happy Easter Sunday everyone!

Please can I not have any hateful comments on this. It’s been a really rough few months and I’m already really anxious. I just want to know how worried I should be.

Been dating someone a month. He has never used a condom or so much as asked if I’m on any form of contraception. It’s concerned me so I’ve made an appointment to have a coil fitted… that doesn’t fix this issue though. My last period started the evening of the 6th April. Had sex Thursday 17th and Friday 18th. I checked with him and he did ejaculate inside me. What are the chances of pregnancy? I’m shitting myself. My period is apparently due 3/4 May and I’m on holiday abroad then. I’ll have a fairly good idea if I get back and I haven’t started my period but I’m extremely anxious.

I haven’t read your previous threads so don’t know why you’re so passive in terms of taking responsibility for yourself and your choices. I don’t think you need to go for a walk and be kind, however - that’s really not going to help. If you don’t want to become pregnant, which your worry over it suggests you don’t, don’t have sex without using contraception 🤷🏻‍♀️ And telling him you’re worried about pregnancy but having unprotected sex with him isn’t a form of contraception!

I got pregnant ( intentionally) the first time we tried to conceive our first child. The second child took many months of trying. You never know which it will be but if you are twenty something, having sex with a man, and not using contraception then you have a very good chance of being pregnant. You absolutely cannot rely on anyone else to sort this out.Please learn from this . And stop dating tossers

This man is an absolute living and breathing red flag! 🚩

@Needtojustendit - if the MAP won’t work, you may need an emergency coil fitting. Or you may need to think about abortion pills. Since you are currently unable even to look after yourself properly (using condoms with new sex partners is the basics of self-care), you are in absolutely the wrong headspace for having a baby and you need to ensure that doesn’t happen.

I’m 32 and have children from my previous marriage. All conceived within a month or two or trying. I absolutely cannot have any more children so yes this was very stupid of me. I’ve ordered the MAP and I’m going to try and get an emergency coil fitted. Easter is not helping with this but it’s the best I can do at this exact moment in time.

Good you realise you've been an idiot - I'm sure most of us have made the same mistake at least once (I know I have, when I was younger).

Hopefully luck + MAP + emergency coil fitting will do the trick, if not, make the decision that's right for you (not some random you've known for a month who isn't into using contraception).

And GET AN STI CHECK!

Odd advice

So you were actively trying to conceive and now you’re worried you might be pregnant?

I’m a bit confused how people are jumping to the conclusion that he was deliberately trying to get OP pregnant? OP has never said this and although he wants children it’s unlikely he’s going to want children after a month of dating.

ultimately you both need to take responsibility, you are both as careless as each other, and it should be a joint responsibility to use protection.

You need to take the MAP and insist on contraception in the future. If he refuses then end things, if he agrees then make sure it’s an ongoing action that doesn’t fade away after a few weeks.

I think they’re ingesting weed 😂

Probably fairly high. 10 days in is usually within the ovulation window. They won't fit a coil until you have your next period now anyway.

Ejaculating into a woman who isn't using any contraception is the very definition of trying to conceive.
That's not jumping to conclusions.

Why are you so passive in all this?

It's not his job to make sure you're on contraception?

Sex doesn't just happen to you. You were an active participant and chose to do so unprotected. Why are you "concerned?" You did what you need to do to make a baby, yet seem to think it's his responsibility if he's got you pregnant? If you actively had unprotected sex, you chose to get yourself pregnant. Take some accountability.

Sounds like you've done all you can for now with regards to contraception. Book yourself in for an STI test or go to a walk in one, as soon as they are open again Tuesday. He's not bothered about getting you pregnant because he can walk away. You're the one left with a baby or having to deal with an abortion. I would not be putting my health in the hands of someone you have not known very long.

I'd think the odds could be as high as 100% if your in your fertile window. The odds are pretty irrelevant anyway. You are or you aren't. Not comfort if statistically your odds was 10% but your in that 10. I hope your not going to tell him about MAP? Sounds like he will dictate your choice and your not asserting any choice over your body. He might choose your having this strangers child.

The OP was also deliberately trying to get pregnant given she wasn’t using contraception either.

They were both TTC.

@Never2many yeah, I was replying to that poster I quoted who wrote that they were confused.

Sorry, I somehow misread the OP and read it as ‘he didn’t ejaculate inside me ‘

TBF even pre cum has sperm in it so even if they were / are using the withdrawal method they are both equally to blame.

Even in the worst case scenario, it's your body, OP - you don't to do anything you don't want to. You'd have choices and they'd be yours to make.

I'm glad you recognise that you should not be dating - it's not in anyone's best interests right now. Take some time to sort yourself out, it sounds like you've got enough to keep occupied! You've made some unwise decisions, but nothing is lost whatever the outcome. We've all fucked up, the important thing is to learn from it.

Just giving you a bit more information about the option of an emergency copper coil (IUD). This is much more effective than oral emergency contraception (the “morning-after pill”). As PP have said, if you have already ovulated (likely based on your last period) the MAP will do nothing. Whereas an emergency coil works at a later stage of the cycle to inhibit implantation, meaning you have more time to play with.

Making a big assumption that you usually have a 28 day cycle, and that your last period which started on 6th April was a normal period (on time, as long and heavy as usual), ovulation probably occurred yesterday (day 14). You are day 15 of your cycle today and have until Thurs 24th April (day 19) to have an emergency coil fitted. It’s still worth taking the MAP as soon as possible on the offchance that ovulation is late this cycle, in case a coil can’t be fitted.

All the best to you.