Tinder…yay or nay?

[SingleRoo123]

Hi all!
So I have joined all the usual dating sites. POF was awful. My inbox was full of men asking me what my kinks are! Tinder has been quite successful. Good amount of matches, had some good chats, no inappropriate comments, quite a pleasant experience so far. I have matched with a guy and we have spoken about going for a drink. Just want to know what everyone’s thoughts are about Tinder and meeting people. I have never done anything like this before so I am a bit nervous 😬 Thanks all x

Go for it! If there are no red flags so far then it’s worth meeting up. After my marriage ended I met my current partner on Tinder 7 months ago and he’s amazing, we’re still going strong :)

I met my DH on Pof. I think most people are on a few dating sites at once. I was just on Plenty of Fish but my husband and a few others I dated were also on other dating sites.

I’ve been wondering the same thing about Tinder. It always had a reputation for hookups so I’ve avoided it.
I was on Bumble and completed it in 2 days. Hardly any profiles locally and grim pics.
Logged onto Hinge 2 weeks ago and I’ve been chatting to a guy every day that I thought would ask to go for a drink. Got sick of the boring how’s your day messages and a running commentary of everything he was doing when he sounded like he had no time to date. I asked him this morning if he wanted to meet this weekend and he immediately unmatched me!
It’s not going well! Might have to give Tinder a try.

I found success on bumble. Same concept. My advice would be when you match meet them quickly for a walk and coffee (nothing to intense) and see how you get on in real life. Some people like to just chat and you’re not looking for a penpal!!

Yeah I’m not a fan of Bumble. Couldn’t find anyone to match with so don’t really bother with it. Why bother speaking to you if he is going to bolt when you ask him out for a drink?! Some people are just so odd. Give Tinder a go, I’ve found it to be quite decent. Fingers crossed for us 😆

I’ve just put a thread up about online dating. Been out the game a while. Nearly 40, haven’t dated since mid twenties.

went on hinge, matched with a guy, he says he’d be up for meeting then unmatched me. Not really bothered but it’s like why say you were 😂

talking to another one yesterday to today and thought chat was going really well so at the bottom of a longer message said let me know if you fancy meeting up for coffee sometime.

he wrote a long message back, asking me questions, carrying all other convo on but ignored that. I’ve carried on messaging but it’s like do I ask again but when as don’t want to sound desperate but at the same time, I don’t want to waste my time lol. Minefield lol

Well I'm not on the dating scene (been married for 38 years!), but I know some fab young people who've had success on tinder. My nephew split from his partner of 16 years (never married and no DC) and met some amazing women on Tinder. I'm biased but he's a great bloke - honest, funny, smart, solvent and good looking, so there are good men to be found on there. My goddaughter is also dating a very nice chap she met on Tinder. It's a numbers game at the end of the day, so you might as well persevere if you have the stamina to deal with the weirdos.

Online dating is BRUTAL. But I met DH through Tinder so it can work out. You need a thick skin and a bullshit radar. Good luck!

I met DP on tinder, we’re still together 4 years later.

I met quite a few other guys from tinder before him, maybe 10 over the course of about 9 months? Some I just didn’t click with, some were after different things to me and some have become good anecdotes for their oddness! But it’s just another dating site filled with people from all walks of life all looking for whatever they’re looking for.

best of luck, enjoy the chats and the dates and fingers crossed one might turn out to be a good match for you

Yeah it’s a bit of a minefield. I’ve now had a guy ask me out in the first couple of messages but I didn’t know if we were compatible with the basics.
So I’ve asked him a few more questions and it turns out we have the opposite free time so we’d never see each other. One of us has DC’s every day. So I’ve say sorry this wouldn’t work. He’d already offered to change his days with his kids but that didn’t sit well with me.

Could the questions have been to find out compatibility? If not he could just be wanting a penpal. So given my recent experience I’d caution against continuing with that. I think the guy I was talking to for nearly a fortnight was either married or lonely and not wanting to meet. Best find out before you waste your time.

@HeatedBlanketAllYear good thing is he lives in the same town and I asked if he knew people I knew which he does so I could ask my one friend what she thinks of him.

His questions were more related to what we were talking about. And we’ve exchanged messages since.

I guess my question to you is should I just say we’ve been chatting for a few days now, would like to meet up. And what questions for compatibility are good? I am so new to this. I don’t have a clue lol. X

Definitely ask friends about him.
And your wording about meeting up sounds reasonable. That’s exactly what I said when I got unmatched 😂
I ask some basic questions about availability/childcare arrangements, what they’re looking for in a relationship and check their profile for any red flags. It’s a fairly dry subject online so I’d ask anything else in person. But it depends what you want and if kids/marriage are in your plans. They’re not for me. So I’d want to make sure they don’t expect me to ever give birth again. Likely on a first date not online. You’ve got to keep the conversation flowing without it sounding like you’re going through a checklist.
Ask him out in one message with no other questions and if he dodges it again he’s likely wanting a penpal. Best of luck.

Thanks @HeatedBlanketAllYear Ok I’ll message him that after I’ve asked my friend.

we’ve both got kids and I’m open to more but not bothered if I don’t. Marriage don’t mind either way.

Same as you, not dated since early 20’s, just turned 40. I’ve also recently out of a long term relationship. It’s so hard isn’t it. I just don’t understand why they would message if they have no intention of meeting up. It just seems so bizarre to me.

So the guy I wanted to go for a drink with hasn’t been in touch for a couple of days. I’ve sent him a message to say I am free next weekend. In previous messages he said he wanted to meet up and any weekend is fine by him. But nothing from him. He hasn’t unmatched me which is something I suppose. I am speaking with a few others but the conversation with him was flowing and we had good banter, I really wanted to meet but I think he has ghosted me. Maybe he hasn’t been online but I fear I may have been blown out 😬 Not for the faint hearted this online dating is it 😂

@SingleRoo123 i do not have time for that. If they don’t get back within 1-2 days, they are being unmatched. I mean I guess rare circumstances may have meant they had some emergency but if it’s meant to be they will come back another way. Don’t stress about it as you’ve not met yet. I think it’s just more about keeping your boundaries clear. X

I’ve just asked out my last match on hinge as I’m not waiting days for a back and forth that’s a max 2 daily messages from him. I’m not hopeful.
So I’m setting up a Tinder profile and has anyone used ChatGPT to write a bio? It’s amazing! Just listed my hobbies and kept saying make it funnier until it created something so much better than I could write. Loved it!

I met my DP on there 4 years ago, be 5 in November 🙂 I was very nearly going to delete my profile as wasn’t getting much luck only matching with those who wanted 1 thing which was not what I wanted but luckily matched with DP before I did 🙂 & wouldn’t have our beautiful son otherwise.

Facebook dating wasn’t bad either, if you have FB.

Good luck, hope it works out for you too 🙂

Just be aware lots of people are using chat GPT both for bios and for messages and are then being surprised when people aren’t that’s funny/interesting/eloquent in real life.

I met my partner of 18 months on Tinder after ages of avoiding that app due to hook up reputation. I paid for whatever ‘gold’ thingy it was then that means you can see who has swiped you already, so I could look through my potentials instead of endlessly swiping myself. I nearly didn’t match with him but something pulled me in, good job I swiped because he’s great! So there are definitely good ones on there. Good luck.

@Tootiredtowhat I can that tell now I’m swiping. Mine isn’t too out there though. And I am hilarious in real life so hopefully no one will be disappointed 😁

Tinder was already over being a hook up app in the early 20 teens when I was using it. There are loads of apps for actual hook ups, tinder is just a dating site.

Met my gorgeous husband on tinder five years ago. I was on lots of dating apps and Tinder was far and seat the best … obviously!

Met my lovely boyfriend on Tinder. I'm so lucky so I'd definitely recommend it. 3 years in. Wish I'd met him years ago.

I met my fiancé on tinder - only man who made interesting conversation through messages so the first guy I met up with on there. We hit it off straight away. Been together 5 years, have a house together, a child and another on the way. Extremely happy and extremely lucky. But I know a lot of people who have had a nightmare on it.