He's got a drippy nose!

[Wecantkeepthisup]

I've been seeing a man for the past 8 months. Things are going really well and it feels like this could be it. Both mid 40s. Both had marriages of 15yrs+.

We've just got back from a wonderful time away here in the UK.

Every morning when away, there was a permanent drip at the end of his nose. It formed within 5 minutes of walking outside and only dried up when inside or it got to about 3pm.

It was normal spring weather, so wasn't a cold temperature causing it. He also didn't have a cold. No sneezing, no coughing, no illness. Just a drip.

He'd subtly wipe it away with his hand when fully formed, but would not hanky away the build up. Occasionally it would drip to the floor. He never flinched when it did.

I've noticed this before on occasion, but never seen it to this extent, as I've not been with him that many full mornings.

I know he'll be fine if I mention it. However, I don't want him to be paranoid and become more conscious of something that's part of him. I've ignored up until now, as it wasn't that visible to me. But I can't now unsee it!

As this is MN, I should probably LTB, right? 🤣 Aside from that advice, how would you handle it?

I'm leaning towards just accepting it, seeing if the summer dries it up and try to avoid a full on lips kiss if the drip is large and about to burst.

Oh my Christ. No. Nope. LTB

That would make me feel physically ill so I’d have to mention it.

If you know he’d be fine talking about it why not just kindly ask him even in a jokey way if that’s the kind of relationship you have?
I mean it’s not an ideal trait is it 😂
bizzare a grown man wouldn’t think to carry a tissue if his nose drips 😆

Just no.

I'm sorry but this would make me feel ill.

And wiping it away with his hand is so repulsive. I wonder what his hygiene habits in are like in general?

I genuinely couldn't tolerate this.

Have you asked him why he doesn't blow his nose? This would be unacceptable from a six year old, never mind a grown man. I couldn't get past this.

Buy him some personalised hankies and say you’d rather not kiss his snot thanks!

That’s grim. Raise your standards OP. He’s an adult and needs to deal with something very unacceptable to others. He should carry a tissue and dab his nose every 15 minutes if needed.

He probably has rhinitis which can occur when outside or eating. A bit of empathy rather than LTB would be nice if that was the case. Talk to him and find out what the issue is.

Does rhinitis stop you from being able to use a tissue?

My ex occasionally had a drippy nose when I first met him. EVERYTIME I noticed it, I would either offer a tissue, mention he needed to wipe his nose or if we were somewhere with other people around I’d tap my nose to suggest he needed to wipe it. I did it in a non-offensive, no big deal way.. however, I imagine it was a little embarrassing, he started carrying tissues and blowing / wiping his nose more often, until it reached a point where I no longer had to mention it.

Because I'm not going to treat him like a child. What a patronising thing to say to an adult.

I'm coming from the perspective of having raised a boy who never knew his nose was dripping and even now aged 20 still needs a prompt to get a tissue out in the winter.

I've considered the jokey ask @Flipslop , but it still brings attention. Having said that, yours seems the only decent response so far.

The clientele of MN is so typically predictable... So ready to judge a person's hygiene standards and anothers relationship standards based on a drippy nose. Good to see the LTB on the first reply 🤣

Did you LTB because of the drippy nose? 🤣

That's helpful. Thank you.

I’m not judgy of a drippy nose, it could be caused by anything. I’m judgy of a grown adult not being able to use a tissue, yes. My 6 year old knows to use a tissue when his nose is running.

It was normal spring weather, so wasn't a cold temperature causing it. He also didn't have a cold. No sneezing, no coughing, no illness. Just a drip.

You are aware it's hayfever season, right? I'm going through a box of tissues a day right now because of how much my nose is streaming. If it was only when you were away it could be that he was exposed to another type of pollen - mine is worse in some areas than others.

It sounds like he isn't aware it's dripping. This can happen sometimes if you have both a blocked nose and a runny nose. Not very nice to see, but if you can't deal with this how will you cope when he's actually ill?

Tbh, I'm surprised you came on MN to ask about this because you knew with certainty what the replies would be!

But as you did - I have sympathy for him because I also have hay fever and a drippy nose on occasion at the moment. However, I carry tissues and wipe & blow my nose regularly, especially in public.
Like others, I would find it off putting that a middle aged man can't do this and actually lets his snot drip to the floor! To me that is just bizarre.

All you can do is start offering him a tissue every time you see it until he gets the idea and forms his own habit of dealing with it.
But that is his you deal with a young child so it would give me the ick. Hopefully it won't do that to you.

Having read your updates I think my post was a bit harsh, sorry.

Re what to do about it, I would hand him a tissue, tell him his nose was dripping and ask if he has a cold or allergies as his nose seems to be dripping a lot lately. I think his response will tell you whether or not he's aware of it. I'd be mortified, which is why I carry tissues and a pocket mirror everywhere I go.

That should’ve come with a warning 🤢

I couldn’t get past that. Why on earth did he not buy some tissues? (Also mention of ‘hankies’ on this thread making me 🤢)

Well if you don't like the LTB comments or the comments about speaking to him about it, I'm not sure why you have bothered posting.

I don't think many posters are going to say that it's fine for him to have a constant drippy nose and never to use a tissue.

This. I've genuinely never known anyone, unless they were a literal baby, not realise they needed to wipe their nose. Massive ick.

It might be allergies. Drips like water, can't be anticipated. If he takes antihistamines not much more you can do.

I've just got back from my run.

For the first time, I'm conscious of how much I wipe my nose with the back of my hand during my run and how it probably drips when I didn't know it was.

Turns out I'm disgusting as well.

Great to see the majority of MN posters who are perfection incarnate coming out in full force this morning.

Thanks to those with something helpful to say or offering kindness and understanding. You're much more me.

It’s normal to you in a way though isn’t it because of your experience with your son as both a child and now as an adult?
But this is really an abnormal and antisocial habit to have to deal with. If it bothers you then tell him. If it doesn’t then that’s your choice but don’t be surprised when other people find it repellent and judge him (and you) accordingly.

The thing is, most of us don’t have experience of adults who don’t know how to wipe their nose, so we’re obviously going to be coming at it from a different angle to you.
I won’t apologise for finding a grown man’s inability to wipe his nose disgusting, but I apologise if my view has offended you.

I imagine his colleagues at work would find it a difficult thing to deal with, too.