He's got a drippy nose!

[Wecantkeepthisup]

I've been seeing a man for the past 8 months. Things are going really well and it feels like this could be it. Both mid 40s. Both had marriages of 15yrs+.

We've just got back from a wonderful time away here in the UK.

Every morning when away, there was a permanent drip at the end of his nose. It formed within 5 minutes of walking outside and only dried up when inside or it got to about 3pm.

It was normal spring weather, so wasn't a cold temperature causing it. He also didn't have a cold. No sneezing, no coughing, no illness. Just a drip.

He'd subtly wipe it away with his hand when fully formed, but would not hanky away the build up. Occasionally it would drip to the floor. He never flinched when it did.

I've noticed this before on occasion, but never seen it to this extent, as I've not been with him that many full mornings.

I know he'll be fine if I mention it. However, I don't want him to be paranoid and become more conscious of something that's part of him. I've ignored up until now, as it wasn't that visible to me. But I can't now unsee it!

As this is MN, I should probably LTB, right? 🤣 Aside from that advice, how would you handle it?

I'm leaning towards just accepting it, seeing if the summer dries it up and try to avoid a full on lips kiss if the drip is large and about to burst.

That’s disgusting!! It would put me off.

He should see his GP even if it is just allergies.

Why did you post OP? You don’t want any negative opinions, you don’t want advice to talk to him about it because you don’t want to be patronising… do you just want people to say ‘awww it’s just a bit of snot, it’s cute 🥰’ ?

I once went on a date with a professional sailor who looked like young Roger Black. Went well until while having a snog, his nose ran and it went across my cheek. While he put his hand on my thigh and laddered my tights with his calluses. That was the end of that.

I think I would find it very unattractive OP and I’d have to buy him a pack of those pocket sized tissues.

Honestly, I don't really understand why you posted on here? I would say the majority of people would find this a really off-putting and disgusting trait - have you asked your close friends? Yet, if anyone here expresses this you get upset and say posters are typical of MN and think they are perfect!

What did you want everyone to say - that it's fine and just carry on as normal? It's not normal for a middle aged man to not wipe and blow his nose properly and regularly if it's always running. And people pointing that out are not being mean and are not being perfectionist in any way.

Your nose dripping when you are on a run is not comparable to your partner's which according to you runs constantly and he actually lets it drip on the floor!

There could be a medical reason. Has he had it checked? Allergies/ Nasal polyps/ Sinusitis/ or even medication.

Oh, this is me - the hay fever is terrible this year. I always have tissues in my pocket to sort out the constant runny nose.

In his situation it sounds as though it’s become something he’s probably not even aware of. I’d just mention it to him in terms of pollen/hay fever, maybe how my own nose is running a lot more than usual due to the high pollen this spring and give him some tissues (or hankies) to keep in his pocket. No big deal, just a casual mention.

It’s not the most attractive thing by any means, but I’ve found it hasn’t precluded relationships (but tissues are a necessity!).

ew! I’d leave

That's disgusting, Op. I see you've got tetchy upthread because people have said his hygiene standards are vile but it's truly horrible. Aren't you bothered that when he uses his hand he then touches you, items in shops, bars etc? 🤮Nobody is judging him for his nasal problem but his lack of hygiene and self care skills. A grown man lets his nose knowingly drop mucus onto the ground. Don't you say anything to him what he does that? All of this could be solved if he knew how to use a tissue. How are his other habits? Does he wash his hands after the toilet etc?

Also how do adult men in your life, Op not know that their noses are dripping? I think the average 4/5 year old becomes aware of the sensation of their nose running.

I have chronic Rhinitis, my nose sometimes runs when I'm outdoors, but more so when I eat. I never, ever leave the house without tissues, and I always have a tissue to hand when I eat.

I can't imagine allowing my nose to run to the point that it would drip onto the floor (or another surface) and whilst I wouldn't leap to a 'LTB' for this issue as a first response, it's not something I would tolerate from someone I was in a relationship with.

Seeing toddlers with snotty noses is not a pretty sight (and I have offered tissues on many occasions) but they have age as an excuse. An adult being oblivious to a dripping nose seems weird, as though he's got so used to it happening, it doesn't bother him and/or he just doesn't notice it.

I would have to point out - 'your nose is dripping, would you like a tissue?'

I have rhinitis. I regularly blow my nose.

Just keep offering him a tissue until he gets the idea, like others have said. I don’t think that’s treating him like a baby, that’s being tactful and tbh I don’t see what else you can do if you don’t want to actually speak to him about it. Though if you know he’d be fine about you mentioning it, just do that then 🤷‍♀️

@Wecantkeepthisup id have called him out on it and said yuck you are wiping your nose on your hand. Yuck you are letting your nose drip
on the floor and hand him tissue paper. .
”do you have an allergy? , maybe some antihistamines will work “!

Once he knows you are aware and find it gross he stops it or you end it .

And yet, he is acting like a toddler who just let's their nose run. Just ask him?

It's only been 8 months, you absolutely haven't been together long enough to notice all his quirks. Takes about 2+ years to see all of a person.

I just read that in Pam’s voice 😂 Agree with the sentiment wholeheartedly