If your 50’s with school age children..,

[Yesmaybe]

How do you find it? A question for those who have experienced it? This is hypothetical but fairly recent relationship, partner who is younger and would like children. I already have children. I am over 40 he is not. I’m at crossroads everything is good. But we need to want the same things going forward. I guess the baby/toddler stage goes quick and tiring. But 50’s and school run? Do you feel worried if your the oldest parents there? Is your child ever aware of it? Having teens and being late 50/60’s how do you feel? I’m guessing for some people it makes you feel younger/others tired etc? I always felt I might have more but completely aware it may not happen naturally and maybe through adoption etc.

Honestly, I think you should let your partner go and find someone younger to have children with.

I am 53. My youngest is 12. It's fine.

I'm 56 and my youngest who is in high school, is 12. It's fine.
Around here, lots of parents are a similar age.

I’m 50 and youngest of three is 10, it’s fine. We are hoping to downsize and retire early 60s as soon as she is through university.
My bigger issue would be feeling pressure to have a child much too soon in the relationship because your bio clock is winding down.

I am 50, my youngest is 7 it’s fine. I am not the oldest mum in his year group.

Lots of my friends are having babies in their 40s. I think as long as you look after yourself as best you can you should be fine

54 and son doing A levels. His dad is 58. Never think about it.

I'm 60 with a 15 year old - he makes his own way to school and back - yes I was sleep deprived for the first 3 years but younger parents are tired too.

I'm 55 and have a 15yo and an 18yo. It's fine, and completely normal where I live.

@Yesmaybe

I adopted my only child when he was 8 and I was 47. He will be 21 this year and I'll be 60.
I don't have anything to compare it to in terms of how tired I was or how I felt about younger mums.

I'm pretty sure though that I wouldn't have wanted a toddler at 47 but then I was and still am single so it's a very different scenario doing it on your own.
Apart from thinking it was hilarious when I turned 50 I don't think he's given my age a moment's thought. Except now he thinks it's hilarious that I have claimed a pension and I can get a senior citizens railcard in June.
Maybe it helps that most people don't think I'm as old as I am, I've never been mistaken for his grandmother. Or that outwardly we are not a 'conventional ' family - I am white, he is black, single adopter, and quite frankly we have bigger fish to fry than what other people think
.
But, I've never not done things with him because of my age, we've had lots of adventures together, I've encouraged him to get out in the world and do things.

I think the big issue really is that you have children and he doesn't. You've had the experience of parenthood, he hasn't. So you don't have the same imperative.
I think you need to want another child for yourself. If you don't, then don't have.a baby to keep a relationship.

I think 50s with secondary school aged children is normal

To be honest it's more common for women to be having children later in life. When my Mum had me at 29, that was considered 'old', to be having a first baby. Mum told me that some women in the maternity ward, who were a similar age, were having their 2nd or 3rd child. A friend of mine has two adult children, and had a little girl at 44, with her partner. I'm 50, and my son is 14, and I haven't once thought I was the oldest Mum on the school run.

Thank you for all the positivity! If dp was my age maybe I would be more wary. But we are both fit and healthy. But I definitely have started to notice a few more aches and pains recently. I would happily add to my family. But I don’t want to get a few years down the line and feel like it’s really tough. I want to be able to enjoy any children as much as I do the ones I already have. We are both positive people and I consider myself a pretty good parent. Adoption is something I had considered before I met him but he would rather a natural baby but we will see. I definitely don’t like to rush into things so that is my major concern at the moment. But it won’t be just yet.

While a lot of posters are saying it's perfectly normal to have school aged children when you are in your 50s, I think it depends on your demographic in your area.
You would like a great grandma where I live , only half a joke. I know quite few great grandmother's who are in their mid to late 50s and absolutely loads who are in their late 40s/mid 50s.

I’m almost 56 with a just turned 14 year old. No I don’t look weird, school runs have never been an issue, I have been the oldest parent but I look after myself and don’t look like his nanna. It’s not been an issue for me. I am a lone parent too. If you have doubts then absolutely don’t do it.

Yes I was considered an elderly mother when I had my first child at 29 and that was in 1998! Weirdly, having a second at 42, nobody batted an eyelid. I always found that strange!

I am 53. Ds is 10. Next up is 16...
Dh is 44...
Only df to the youngest.. But absolutely dad to both.

Had youngest at 40. She's now 13. Hardest thing was the pregnancy as I got very tired. I also co-slept more as sleepless nights and having a toddler was difficult.
But now, all fine. I work full time, drive kids and hour each way for evening activities and do all the usual mum stuff. But I enjoy it all

Some of the grannies at school are closer in age to me hah the mums. That’s just the demographic at this school. I see a lot of older mums & pregnant women of vintage. Had DS at 44.

I will turn 50 just before my youngest turns 18. Eldest will be 26. I am currently 42 with a 10 year old. He has autism and is like a toddler in a lot of ways. I wanted to have children young and have freedom when I was older but it didn't work out that way.

Weird.

My mum had me in her 40s in the 1970s.

Went to primary school and it wasn't a rare occurrence for the youngest one or two children in a family to have parents in their 40s/50s.

I have SILs who worked on maternity wards in the 90s onwards and due to were they worked they saw a wide demographic range. They only had emotional issues around younger mothers.

Anyway what's different now is women being older - so 40+ - and having their first and/or only child. Funny thing is myself, my sister and a half sister fall into that category.

I've got no choice because I've just had one at 40. But I can't see it being an issue. Everyone round where I live is an older Mother, and aging is not what it used to be. It depends how you will age. Everyone had a responsibility to themselves to exercise and keep healthy so they can age well. I am expecting to be fitter than most Millennials I know. My Mum was early 30s when she had me, and in the 80s and 90s that stuck out a mile, she seemed really old compared to the other Mums, but times have changed.

I’m 41 with 3yo and 18 months and still might try for another. My husband is 50. It’s fine.

I was youngest of 4 when my mum had me at 40. My parents were among the older ones, but not the oldest. They did ages well though so I'm hoping that will also be the case for me!

I'm 50 with school aged children. I'm definitely not the only one of that age range picking my kids up from school.