How do we get to the bottom of this?

[Mini1977]

DB had an affair, slept with OW twice. OW became pregnant. DB went to one scan which was around 8 weeks hasn't been to any other since (hasn't been asked).

OW has said she was planning on an abortion at 20 odd weeks. According to OW DC (who told friends) that had happened.

OW is very unhinged and has acted crazy a few times over the last few weeks but has now told DB that she is infact still pregnant.

DB isn't opening up much and believes everything he is being told but obv on the sidelines the OWs DC is openly admitting OW is extremely upset at "having to bury her baby"

Is there anything we can do to find out once and for all what is actually happening? Baby would be due end of summer and I'm worried DBs mental health is going to be affected as he's being brainwashed essentially.

It's so hard because speaking to OW causes a lot of bother for DB as she becomes "crazy" so feel stuck on how to help in this situation.

Thanks in advance

Why are you so invested in your DB’s life? He’s a grown arse capable of impregnating a woman so he can seek advice and resolution for his own problems, surely. Let your DB work through it. Give this one a miss.

Tbf I think most women would act “crazy” in OW’s position. What a mess.

He'll have to wait and find out if a baby appears, obviously.

Surely it'll be fairly obvious if she's still pregnant 🤰

I don't want to get into the ins and outs of it but you asked how he could find out if she is still pregnant.

One answer is that he or someone he knows could keep an eye out for the woman to see if she has a bump? This seems obvious?

He wouldn't be allowed to access her medical records or talk to her midwife, if that's what you mean.

He put his dick in crazy and found out didn't he.

It's unlikely that she is crazy and you need to bin the rose coloured spectacles that you are looking at your brother with.

Your DB had an affair… slept with the OW twice, which probably led this women to believe he had feelings for her, and then left! And she is/was pregnant! The whole he went to one scan but didn’t go to any others because he wasn’t asked?! If he wanted to go he would have gone, so he obviously wasn’t interested. I’m not saying she should have assaulted him etc. but I understand her anger. Your DB is a full grown adult and needs to handle the situation himself. You can help by staying well out of it. And to answer your question… I think he’s just going to have to wait and see if a baby arrives or actually contact the OW and have an adult conversation.

What does OW mean?

To answer your question OP there isn’t really anything you can do other than wait for the due date to arrive, there will either be a baby or there won’t be. You can’t force access to her medical history.

If your brother finds that wait stressful then perhaps he should consider that a very suitable punishment for stepping out on his wife.

Totally agree

How do you think he could? Find someone to look up her medical records? Stalk the clinic to see if she turns up for a scan? Hire a PI to see if she has a bump?

Of course he can’t find out. If he sits tight long enough and there is a baby, I’m sure she’ll be round to see him soon enough.

Until then tell him the word is condom and to use it.

Other Woman (mistress)

Regardless of what the mother of his unborn child is like, please stop defending your brother. He cheated on wife with a clearly mentally ill woman, didn't use a condom, is a 'mummy's boy at 39' and is now apparently relying on his sister to find ways of sorting it all out for him. Jeez. Just step back and let him clear up his own shit.

Cheating is abuse. He abused his wife! Who cares if he didn't know the OW had a boyfriend? Did your "D"B just conveniently forget he had a wife? He was just so distraught over his marital woes that he had no other option than stick his dick in another woman? You are essentially cleaning up your poor wittle brothers wittle mess cuz oh no he made a whoopsie. He knowingly cheated on his wife and now has to pay the consequences. That should disgust you, not make you want to rescue him. Let him sort his own shit and stop coddling this disgusting man. Tell him if he didn't stick his dick where it didn't belong he wouldn't be in this mess. You are the problem enabling this bullshit.

’my selfish cheating brother had an affair, slept with OW twice. OW became pregnant. DB went to one scan which was around 8 weeks hasn't been to any other since (hasn't been asked).
OW has said she was planning on an abortion at 20 odd weeks. According to OW DC (who told friends) that had happened. Absolutely understandably, given her baby to be has a selfish cheater for a father, the other woman is incredibly worried, but like many women doesn’t want to abort, but has the difficult decision whether to go it alone without the father, as he has now gone back to his wife.
selfish brother isn’t doing anything proactive and is just waiting for the women in his family to ckear up his mess. DC is openly admitting OW is extremely upset at "having to bury her baby" which shows the awful emotional turmoil she’s experiencing.
Is there anything we can do to support her? Baby would be due end of summer and I'm worried her mental health is going to be affected.
she gets so upset speaking to him about it.
Thanks in advance’

I'd be 'crazy' too if I was the one being vilified and gossiped about whilst everyone rallied around the poor fragile manbaby whose mental health is top priority in this whole shitshow

You just aren't getting it OP. No wonder your DB is how he is if he always has the women in his life picking up after him. HE chose to have unprotected sex outside his marriage. HE chose to risk his wifes health. HE could have chosen to prevent a pregnancy. But no, he went with the easy option.. a seemingly mentally unstable and vulnerable woman, by your account, and did not bother protecting anyone else by, at least, using a condom.
The OW hasn't 'done things' to him, he willingly did enough on his own, thinking of nothing but his own gratification. What a prince 🙄

Let him sort his own mess out. He'll find out soon enough if, and when, the CMS claim comes his way. He can look into what he needs to do legally, DNA and access wise, should that happen

Until then, stop gossipping about her. Stop minimising the impact your DBs stupidity has caused on others and realise that you are absolutely NOT helping the situation

No, there's nothing he can do to find out. He isn't allowed access to her medical records. He'll just have to wait and see - and frankly considering how he's behaved, he deserves to be feeling a bit of turmoil.

He doesn't particularly deserve credit for stepping up, btw. It's the least he should do.

His poor wife.

he's far from an abuser.

Cheating on his wife, whether they were going through a rough patch or not, is abusive.

The situation he's now put her in is also a form of abuse.
Real Jeremy Kyle stuff.

She must have quite low self esteem to be hanging around in it, given they don't appear to have kids themselves yet.

They've totally vilified the ow and totally excused him.

That's why.

Because it suits them.