Talking to someone on a dating app and they said these things?

[Treasy]

Talking to a lovely person on a dating app, hoping to meet next week.
they have said a number of things along the lines of being very passive….”I don’t tend to have many emotions” “I don’t have strong opinions about anything” “I don’t think much about what’s going on in the world/news but that sounds awful” (when I pointed out a world crisis that I feel strongly about as they asked me about a strong view I have)

what would you think about this if it was you?

If otherwise engaging, personally I would be giving her the benefit of the doubt. I'd probably assume from her comments about you getting angry that she has dates people that are too opinionated for her liking in the past and is now being a be overly cautious with making her preferences for a peaceful life known early.

Other than not feeling strong emotions I would describe myself the same way she has. I still have loads of fun things to talk about. Recent drinks I went on we talked about a series we've started together, a few science topics, the resurgence of line dancing in our area, the history to the pub we were in, plans for upcoming gigs, funny childhood anecdotes etc. We weren't sat in silence and she definitely had a great time and I'll be seeing her again on Friday.

I dated someone just like this and he turned out to have a dismissive avoidant attachment style. At first, I thought that he was just very chilled although I later realised he was super sensitive to criticism. The lack of world views was because your views cant be rejected if you don't have any. Over time it became very boring because you just can't have even vaguely interesting conversations with a person like this. Everything is on the surface. The lack of emotions is a massive red flag. In my experience, the lack of opinions is the tip of the iceberg in terms of the type of problems you are likely to face with a person like this.

For me personally, i'd never date someone like that again. At best they are boring and at worst the passivity is masking deep problems which can only be addressed with therapy.

They sound thick.
Obviously I may be wrong as I haven't conversed with them. But purely based on what you've said in the OP.

Hmmm.

I suspect I might actually say the same things as the person, even though I'd categorise myself as well informed and thoughtful.

Discretion is the better part of valour. If I'm on a dating site I want to get to know the person first before having intense discussions.

Most people online - even with good chat - aren't compatible enough to stay in touch after the first physical meet.

So I don't want to be revealing my soul and politics to someone who is and will probably always be a complete stranger.

I had a Tinder contact who insisted we were aligned on everything - chat went on for FAR too long due to schedules and different cities.

In person he was polite but we didnt really vibe.

also had a daughter he didn't mention, far more significant in a dating context!

What's the worst that could happen if she went on a date with this person? They're a stranger she's met online so there's no end to the possibilities. Which is why she needs to be careful.
If we all took this attitude then nobody would ever date anybody!
It seems to be an MN thing where nobody ever opens the front door, answers the phone, meets dates in person, ....

Just meet somewhere public and don't share personal details until you are comfortable.

And I agree that the date seems to have been burnt in the past. Just like OP. That's why she is asking the "are you a SJW" questions and dialling down herself.

I’m honestly not an opinionated big mouth at all. Just normal lol I don’t get into political debates with anyone and am happy to chat about all those things that you did.
but I would speak up if I need to and am looking for someone who is open emotionally

I'd think that they'd probably be boring with no 'get up and go'.

It would put me off.

Why not have a phone call or a video chat first?

You want to see if they're an

• interesting person with good manners who just doesn't want to talk about politics or ex partners or anything too intense on first meet.

• someone who is completely quiet and expects you to lead everything practically and conversationally

Sure, but she doesn't know that. If she's been stung before she's possibly just being a little cautious.

She might not be on the same level as you intellectually & be a bit intimidated by pple who “know a lot about politics” when you aren’t necessarily “political” & may be far from being an “activist” but are an informed, intelligent & curious person that probably holds a range of views on a multitude of different things. She sounds a bit reductionist & not very engaging. Doesn’t make her a bad person but maybe not on your wavelength? I agree that she may not want to engage in divisive, strongly held debate on a first date. And perhaps with culture wars now there’s more scope to shore up with folk OLD with some more extreme views & lifestyles perhaps?? So she might be trying to just scope you out too & saying as much. But I think shutting down interests & passions in another partner is a big turn off IMO. Even if they’re not the same as yours.

I wouldn't be interested in someone who wasn't interested in anything!

But also for me, I want someone who is interested in politics, in world events etc - I want them to have a view. I don't swipe right on people who say they are apolitical because politics are really important and interesting to me.