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Original poster

Age difference - dating younger man

43 replies

nicky8 · 31/03/2025 15:21

Has anyone ever dated a younger man before?

I have met someone who is 18 months younger than me, I’m 41 and he is 40 this year.

Normally I wouldn’t worry, but neither of us have children so wondered if it was worth pursuing because of my age as I think he wants children. I do too but obviously my age is against me.

OP posts:
MiddleAgedDread · 31/03/2025 15:23

18months at your ages is insignificant IMO. If he really wants kids then he probably shouldn't be dating someone who's fundamentally his own age. He's not really a "younger man", it's just that men's child-bearing years are a lot more "flexible" than a woman's.

EverleyBros · 31/03/2025 15:25

Seriously I think you’re asking the wrong question. There is NO ages difference! 18 months is no time at all once both people are over approx 25, basically both mature adults.

the real question is how would he feel if your age makes conceiving a child together difficult? Is it a deal breaker to him? In which case, he should be dating younger women (more likely to be fertile). Sorry to be so blunt… but that’s just biology

Blackcountrychik83 · 31/03/2025 15:26

I’m 41 and my last partner was 5 years younger . He didn’t have kids either but I did .

18 months is nothing at all . Go and enjoy yourself !

Upsetbetty · 31/03/2025 15:27

My DP is 6 years younger….18months is not considered an age gap to be fair.

Comedycook · 31/03/2025 15:28

The age difference is nothing.

Depends whether what you want and what he wants align

CaptainAwkward · 31/03/2025 15:31

Christ, thought you were going to say 20 years as 18 months is nothing!

I dated a bloke in his late 20s when I was early 40s. It was fun but got exhausting and killed my ardour when I found myself using gentle fucking parenting techniques on him😂

18 months is nowt

hattie43 · 31/03/2025 15:31

18mths ???? Hardly an age difference .

SuspiciousChipmunk · 31/03/2025 15:33

18 months? You are hardly a cougar!

TranceNation · 31/03/2025 15:34

The issue isn't the age gap it's that he still holds a candle of the hope of having children, which as you say is unlikely. I think he needs to be in a position of acceptance it's unlikely to happen for him either.

AnonAnonmystery · 31/03/2025 15:53

My God that’s nothing … I’m nearly 5 years older than my dp and I don’t really think about it!

Sodthesystem · 31/03/2025 15:56

Even if he was 30 it would be fine.

Relationships are mostly only a few years here and there. Why deprive yourself of something nice because of something that may or may not happen. If he wants kids, he can leave. It's not marriage. Not yet anyway.

Enjoy yourself, you're still young.

Nosaucelikemintsauce · 31/03/2025 15:56

I was 41 when I met dh 31.. Been married 10 years!

TheFormidableMrsC · 31/03/2025 15:57

I dared a man who was 10 years younger than me. 18 months is not an age gap.

TheFormidableMrsC · 31/03/2025 15:57

Dated not dared 🤣

Zizi123 · 31/03/2025 15:59

My partner is 6 years younger than me. I’m 41 and due in 3 weeks, however we have been together half a decade and wouldn’t have been ready for that jump at the start of the relationship.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 31/03/2025 16:07

18 months? Is that a typo, if not you're practically the same age!

mindutopia · 31/03/2025 18:04

Surely, you are like the same age! 😂 Dh is 7 years younger than me. We started dating when he was 21 and I was 28, married at 24 and 31. He’s always been more sensible and mature than me though.

Bigminnie1 · 31/03/2025 18:06

Really? This is not even worth thinking about. My husband of 12 years is four years younger than me.

StrawberryDream24 · 31/03/2025 18:08

That's not a younger man.

You will have to discuss the importance of having kids and the probability of natural conception before going any further.

If you wanted to conceive naturally, you'd have to get on ubiquinol, track your cycle and get at it with all haste.

For reference;
"Women in their early 40s have a 28% chance of pregnancy within 6 cycles and a 56% chance within 12 cycles".

If you're willing to consider egg donation and IVF, it's not quite so pressured.
Some people have issues with ethics around egg donation however.

Moveoverdarlin · 31/03/2025 18:11

He would have been the year below you in school!! There is no age gap. I wouldn’t class 5 years as an age gap, let alone 18 months.

Imbusytodaysorry · 31/03/2025 18:19

@nicky8 sorry to break it to you . But your not really dating a “younger man “

You are the “same age”

Fuuuuuckit · 31/03/2025 18:24

18 months isn't significant at ALL once you're past first year at high school.

You do you op.

(My biggest age difference was 8 years younger than me, he did want dc, I already had 2. I'd lived more of a life than he had, including living on my own from 18 to 21, and again after my divorce. He didn't have a clue about ANYTHING)

Sakura7 · 31/03/2025 18:27

What age difference? You're the same age!

I could understand if you're a teenager, but you're in your 40s!

saltandvinegarchipsticks · 31/03/2025 18:30

He’s not a younger man, as others have said - he’s a peer, but the issue is whether you are on the same page about children and that he accepts it gets harder when you leave it to your forties. I think at that stage of life it’s worth an open conversation even early on in a relationship, to avoid wasting time.

blackbirdnest · 31/03/2025 18:49

Flippin’ heck OP, my partner is 19 years younger than me. It’s worked now for 13 years and we’re very happy.