One night stands [Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

[LemonDuck223]

How do you not get attached. Me and a guy met through friends last night for the first time. He doesn't live close to me over 1 hr a way. We both said we didn't want relationships atm but we then slept together and spend all day together. First guy I've felt comfortable and safe with in such a long time.
I guess I feel a bit sad that it couldn't be anything more.
Could anyone give me tips to not get emotionally attached in situations like this. Wish I could be a boy and compartmentalise stuff like this as it would be much easier to deal with

I have ONS when im on holiday everyone is different i like the body not the man.
I do the french exit in the mornings.
Most that ive spent the night with are the same as me just want the fun without the strings.
No long chats or spending time together etc.
I have my own rules called play it safe i all ways comdoms even though i have the coil i still want to be safe.
Tbh i dont know half there names and i never give mine out because i dont plan on seeing them again so what would we want each others names for.
Its just fun to me no connection no strings oh boy do i have some stories from my holidays.😉

I am the totally detached type too regardless of how good it is. Takes me a long while to get feelings… Makes sense about the oxytocin though, should have realised that 😅

This does sound fun. However stupidly we had alot of deep convos whilst drunk last night and then some deep pillow talks this morning. Plus then being in a group with my other friends all day today probably didn't help it staying in the realms of fun ONS

It sounds like ONS are not for you.

Earth has not anything to show more fair/than my bedside stand and the stuff on there

As PP have said, don’t give him the power to ghost you.

Since you share some of the same friends, he does have a way to get in touch with you if he wants. I would recommend marking a date in your diary—maybe 3 or 4 weeks out. If he hasn’t contacted you by then, forget him.

“Could anyone give me tips to not get emotionally attached in situations like this.”

Don’t do intimate stuff with blokes you don’t have an emotional attachment to. Simple!

This table now doth like a garment wear/
My alarm clock, lubricant, stray underwear.

“Could anyone give me tips to not get emotionally attached in situations like this.”

Don't put so much importance on temporary feelings that'll reduce when the oxytocin fades. Enjoy it for what it was, a great night and day.

Hormonal highs and emotions pass, they don't have to be pursued or mean something.

Just call him!

Call him! Now that is definitely forward!

You’ll drive yourself mad otherwise!

I think he was not a great candidate for a ONS if you were going to be spending the day together as well.
Or ONS are not for you. Which is fine, no need to have them. I’ve had a fair few, but I’ve never had to consciously do anything to not get attached. Sex (for me) can be just a fun purely physical thing to do.

I think it’s fine to admit that actually you’d like to explore dating him as you had such a great time. But if he is only interested in casual sex don’t see him again as you’ll end up getting really hurt

i don’t think it’s a man/woman thing. I have had several ONSs in the past, enjoyed most of them and have been fine with things not developing. I do find it weird literally never seeing them again, and prefer to do so, but I’ve been fine with us never shagging again or not becoming involved.

I’ve been seeing a man in a strictly FWB relationship for a while and that’s fine too. It is 100% sexual, and I have zero desire for anything else despite him being a nice bloke who I fancy.

You say in your post, OP, that you told your guy that you weren’t looking for a relationship. Perhaps you actually are. In which case, what have you got to lose by telling him?

You have to change the way you think any guy who you have a one night stand one doesn't want a relationship with you regardless of how much you get on. Sorry op

He has my number as he asked for it on the night out. I haven't heard from him so...I guess I'll leave it

Or he might be thinking ‘well we both said we weren’t after a relationship so it’s not worth calling to be rejected’ . One of you needs to put their cards on the table

Ok I've written this. Keeping it casual and and light hearted.
"Hope you're journey home weren't too bad! Thanks for a fun weekend. Maybe see you again whenever you're back in city name? Our nights out are better here 😂 "

Good!
Apart from ‘weren’t too bad’ but I’m just a bit anal about spag 😂

I'd WhatsApp - why not? What have you got to lose? You're already not seeing him anymore and if he says 'no thanks' to your query about did he feel the connection question, then you're no worse off than you are now...... But at least you tried. You never know what might happen - he might have felt the connection too. Worth a shot imo and sometimes bigger things happen off the strangest of starts.

Actually ‘you’re’ as well !

I noticed you're! I've corrected both. Thanks
I really don't know if he will acknowledge the message but if he doesn't then I'll just delete his number and move on

OP it's normal to feel attached after sex - for women, that is. When you orgasm you flood your brain with oxytocin which makes you feel warm and loving towards your sex partner.

Eta: men don't have this oxytocin flood. So it's easier for them to 'compartmentalise.'

I don't know how you can prevent this other than by not having one night stands!

At least you’ll know .
personally I can’t do the ONS thing
🤞for you