Poorly cat v new partner

[Tobbay]

Hi

I've recently met somebody.And we have been seeing each other for about six weeks.
During this time , my cat has been very ill and has lost twenty five percent body weight and been diagnosed with IBD. I'm cuùrrently hand feeding him as he's not eating.

My new partner wants me to stay overnight as his but my instinct is that I want to stay at home at the moment as my cat sleeps with me and that calms him, he us really poorly and needs alot of care and I may not have him as long as I thought if he goes downhill.
I've had him 12 yrs and known the guy 6 weeks.

But, am I being weird here and should I stay as "that's what people do"?
I would like to pursue things with him but not sure if I should stay?
Would it put you off if a partner put their cat above you?

No one who hasn't had a pet will ever understand the bond you have.

If he's right for you he will see how much your cat means to you and be happy to stay with you instead of making you leave your poorly cat.

If you don’t want to leave your cat, don’t!

Can you go round to his for a few hours but then go home?

You have a moral duty to the cat who depends on you for care. The man is optional and a choice.

Your cat is sick and needs to be fed by hand at the moment. You stay with your cat, especially as you said you may not have long left with him. It's not weird, it's called being a good owner. Can your 'partner' not stay at yours?

Edit: typo

Not being weird at all. Your beloved cat of 12 years definitely needs you at home overnight right now. If this new guy doesn’t understand how important your cat is to you then he’s not right for you.

This.

Seems like a good test to work out if this fella is worth it, if he doesn’t understand, throw him back in the sea.

Stay with your cat. You’ll forever regret it if you don’t. If this man is worth it then he’ll understand

Stay with your cat. If the guy’s a keeper he’ll come and stay with you. If he doesn’t want to, or can’t understand, he’s not a keeper.

And I hope your cat gets better!

Agree. Shouldn't be having to choose.

Stay for the cat.
If he's a half decent human being he'll understand, or offer to stay at your place together.

stay with the cat x

Your cat needs you overnight right now.

If he has a problem with that then he's probably not worth a long term relationship with anyway. If he understands then that reflects well on him.

You're not saying you can't see your partner but that you just won't stay overnight at the moment. After only 6 weeks that seems absolutely fine to me.

If he’s a pet person he’ll understand and may even like you more for it!

How is someone you’ve been seeing for a few weeks your partner?

I couldn’t be attracted to someone who didn’t have empathy for a poor sick animal and put their own needs first.

if he’s a decent guy he’d want you to stay and hand feed your poor cat. I hope the cat gets well soon.

Agree with PP - your cat comes first. Any decent pet owner would feel as you do - indeed any decent human. I hope your cat feels better soon.

On a semantic point - a partner is generally someone you’ve been with for a decent chunk of time. At this stage, this man is someone you’re seeing or perhaps a boyfriend. This sounds like a silly point but I think your priorities will be clearer if you keep in mind that this guy is very new in your life - in some ways it’s a bit worrying that you’re even asking this question.

Stay with your cat. If the new boyfriend has ever had a pet that he loved then he’ll understand that the cat comes first.

You could go to his place for a few hours for the evening meal and then both of you go back to your place and your cat.

Did he suggest taking your cat with you to his place for an overnight stay?

If he’s a keeper he won’t want you to be away from your cat while the cat is sick.

The cat needs you.

Your boyfriend is new and can wait.

I absolutely would put my cat first and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.
You would probably just spend the night away worrying about them anyway (I would!)
Actually it might be interesting to see how the new man reacts to this, suspect it will tell you a lot about him.
Sending get well love to your cat (from a fellow long term cat mother)

If someone didn’t respect how important my cat is too me. Then they can sod off, as that is not respecting me.

Stay with your cat.

This man should be regarded as a boyfriend more than a partner at this early stage in your relationship.

Puss comes first!

Team cat. Stay at yours.

You will absolutely regret missing out on time with your precious kitty for a man who may be passing through your life only briefly. And if his intention is longevity then he can either come to you and meet your cat, or wait a bit until the cat is better.