3 children, I’m full time at work. DP is full time he’s in construction. I do 95+% of the housework and childcare. Get them ready for school. Iron uniform usually on a Sunday. breakfast, drop them off at before school provision, normally me but occasionally DP collecting from after school club. We both luckily are home around 4.15 ish I make tea every night, clean up after tea, put a wash on, put one wash away, do general cleaning quick vacuum etc then bath or shower kids do reading books put to bed. 3ish nights out of 7 DP with do a quick piece of toast for them for after their bath. I do the clubs after work as well, swimming, gymnastics etc. had parents evening tonight. I do all dentist/ doctors appointments making and attending and I stay off work every time one of our children are poorly. ( temp contract with chance for permanent) DP won’t do this as he says I make more money so you need to stay off if they are ill. Occasionally, he has his own boulder jobs on after work let’s say every 3ish month he will do late nights, for 2/3 days or a Sunday. Be home around 6/7. Tonight, when I was at parents evening, he was at a neighbours house just cleaned up some heavy materials which he has promised to move since December and hadn’t. It took him approximately one hour to do this. He was home for 5.15 waiting for his evening meal. I’m already shattered this week as our youngest has been poorly and I’ve stayed off work Monday with her, doctors Tue etc but me back in work Tuesday. After dinner tonight it’s was gymnastics. I get home, the house is a MESS. Clothes all over the landing, he can’t pick up and put in a basket pots in the sink. Few kids toys on the floor and his side of the bedroom in a shit tip yet again. Well I put the kids to bed, came downstairs he’s outside in the back garden vaping drinking a can of beer talking on phone to his friend. This is most nights. Well I finally told him I can’t cope anymore like this.I told him it’s misogynistic it should be 50/50 if I’m full time, it’s like I’m a single mother anyway. Etc I did shut the door so kids upstairs couldn’t hear, and my voiced was raised. I said might as well be on my own! Other woman I chat to at work don’t seem to live like this with their partners/husbands. I so think I cannot cope with him, I feel so upset that it doesn’t get through to him. Told him it would be nice if he made tea once a week at least! His response was to through a glass hard into the sink, told me can I go next door n fucking lift heavy stuff his jobs physical he earns more money, most men would of fuckimg left me after me speaking to him like that, then stormed out on foot as I reminded don’t drive he’s had few cans. I know I’ve rambled a bit here, sorry I feel stressed I don’t know where he’s gone but it is his birthday tomorrow so am I out of order do I ring him?? I asked him to come to the girls swimming lesson last week he did end up coming, I only asked because I’d had a car accident the day before and didn’t feel confident driving. Knew he wouldn’t take them on his own because of washing hair after it etc he came but shouted at me all the way. Telling me how ridiculous I am for arranging such a shit time to swim. Even though I’ve been doing this for over a year and it’s never bothered me I kept having to repeat myself it’s just a one off your coming don’t worry. What would you do?