Friend never returns "borrowed" money..

[sandy200]

I have a close friend who I've know for 20 years. Over the last couple of years she's regularly asked me "can you lend me a fiver?" or "can you lend me a couple of quid?". Never big amounts, but little and regular. It's starting to grate on me that she never re-pays me. It's never for important stuff either...Just like if we're out and she wants to get an icecream or go for a coffee etc. She has a good job, lives with parents at home, no kids, no mortgage and no car. No debts that I'm aware of. Always goes on lavish holidays... Like shopping sprees to Dubai and heading to Japan next year.
I'm a bit of a pushover so I struggle to even consider asking for my money to be repaid, but just annoyed that she keeps asking for it.

Just say no. Make sure when you go out with her you have no cash.

Just Say No.

She means "give" when she says "lend", which I would try to remember next time she does it. Call her on it as well if you feel up to it, point out to her that she never pays you back or buys you anything in return.

I'd never begrudge a friend a couple of quid if they needed it, but your 'friend' is taking the he piss. If you struggle saying no, just say you don't have any cash on you initially. Or if you're paying by card that you're don't have enough in your account at the moment.
The advice that gets given here a lot is to reverse Uno her - start asking the same of her so as you get to the coffee shop ask if she can lend you a couple of quid for a coffee

Say no.

if she can plan her finances to afford a trip to Japan she can plan to afford coffee and cake.

start taking just enough cash to pay for your own.

I'm very happy to buy friends coffee or ice cream but I do notice when it's not reciprocated and will call people out. "It must be your turn this week, I got them the last two times".

I don't ever lend money, if I want, and am able ,to help I give it, so if a friend didn't have money for ice cream I'd buy them an ice cream not lend them the money. Again, if it was regular I'd say "no it's your turn" or "not this time, sorry".

I'd also point out that you don't need cash and that even ice cream vans take cards now, maybe start checking before we go out that she's got her card or help her set up phone payments if needed.

Close the Bank of sandy200 permanently. This person sees you as a pushover/mug and is treating you accordingly.

Make a joke of it next time: "Now I know how you can afford such great holidays - you just get everyone else to pay for your coffees all the time! Maybe I should try that..."

Just say no and keep saying no. If she carries on say ‘take it out of the money you already owe me’

I had a friend like this. Always forgot her purse or was waiting for a new debit card. Small amounts each time but it added up and it was a pattern.

And urs she’s the one who retired early, drives a 25 plate car, wears designer clothes and yet begrudges returning a fiver.

I’ll always buy a mate a drink or whatever or help out when someone genuinely a bit short but these freeloaders know exactly what they’re doing.

Just ask her to pay for your coffees etc till it evens up.

Have you tried asking her for a fiver or asking her if she can lend YOU a couple of quid? It'll soon stop if you do it to her.

"I bought you ice cream last week and you borrowed a fiver off me for coffee on Tuesday, so if anything it's your turn to pay! I'll have a latte, please!" (in a jokey tone). If she says "Oh but I can't really afford it," you can say "okay guess we'll go without then for now, you can treat me next week." Or say "I thought you were planning a holiday, you can afford that but not to buy your own coffee?"

Bet she won't bring it up again, and if she does "I thought we agreed it was your turn to pay for the next few goes because I've bought the last few?"

Or at the very least just say "No sorry, money's tight for me at the moment, I can't afford it."

Just say something! Best case scenario she doesn't realise she's doing it and stops immediately, apologises and pays you back. Medium case scenario she did realise but now she realises you won't put up with it so doesn't do it again. Worst case scenario she gets annoyed and it affects the friendship but if she was only using you for freebies and doesn't bother with you if you don't give them, it wasn't a real friendship anyway, and at least you know.

Say that she owes you a number of coffees etc and then say once we’re even let’s but our own coffees etc. I bet that she’ll give you an excuse. Then say ah then let’s leave it for the next times. Say that you’re looking forward to her repaying her coffees because it’s caused you to be short in the past. She might not contact you again and the. You’ll know it was a fake friendship

Just call her out on it..."Janet, you do realise the concept of a loan is that you pay the lender back? I can only afford to lend it to you if you intend to repay it." Then remind her if she forgets.

She's not worried about upsetting you, so don't be afraid to say something to her.

Ask her for a fiver or to buy the coffee/cake/icecream from now on.

There are people with a lot of money who get and stay rich because they make sure they are never generous. It’s a really nasty trait. She’d rather have fancy trips and you pay for her sundries. And I bet you’re not the only one. Her parents are paying for her accommodation, after all.

I’d have the conversation. “This is probably 300 quid with all the coffees and ice creams you haven’t paid back.” And wait for her answer. Don’t apologise, don’t keep talking. Let her say something.

Next time you're out for coffee / ice cream, you get in there first and ask her for a "loan". When she asks for it back (she will!) say ... let's cancel that out against what you owe me.

Forget your purse/cards/money next time and ask her to pay for your ice-cream/drink.

think of all the coffee/drinks/cakes that are being paid for by other people as you won’t be the only person she’s tapping up. She’s not a friend really

We had a very wealthy friend at university who borrowed at least five quid every day Monday to Friday from us small group of friends. Sometimes was significantly more. He was always getting the lobster in restaurants and then we split the bill equally. He would refuse to lend anyone even a pound coin for a vending machine.
Of course this adds up. Basically we were subsiding him to the tune of between 100 and 200 quid a month for 4 years. Sometimes much more.
He lives in Dubai and has an expensive and frankly self-absorbed lifestyle now twenty years on. He should have some shame but of course he doesn’t.
OP, give this CF a hard NO.

Err, yep, as has been said, just say no!

Next time say no sorry because you never pay it back. She is a total scrounger. I don't think I would be friends with somebody like this.

Stop borrowing.
write off the amount owed if you’re not prepared to ask for it back.

Say no to future requests. If she asks why, laugh and say “because you don’t bloody well pay me back!!”

Point made and problem solved.

How on earth did you become such a doormat that you can’t use the word no when someone asks you for your money.

It’s your own fault, I don’t even understand what you want with this post, if it’s even real. Ridiculous.

If she's a good friend then surely you can speak up? I would make a joke of it; "you do realise 'a loan' means you repay the money, right?" with a laugh.

If she keeps asking I would say "look, this is getting to be a habit. I don't mind buying coffee and cake for both of us if you return the favour but you never do so let's just buy our own". Things might be frosty for a bit but it's either that or you keep being a mug.

Had a few ‘friends’ like this. They like expensive things in life, but won’t spend money on basics if there’s some other mug around to buy it for them.

Next time she tries it, laugh and say ‘Oh gosh no. I’ve lent you quite a bit here and there this year. I think it’s time the coffees were on you! The bank of me has closed’

And she inevitably says ‘Gosh it’s only a coffee!’ . Just say, ‘great you won’t mind paying this time then!’ Or ‘Yes but it’s my £5 you take everytime. That’s not a coincidence’

You'll lose this friend once you are of no use to them. I wouldn’t be arsed.