Taking my daughter abroad without father’s consent.

[athenaswrath]

Hi,

Am I allowed to take my daughter abroad for 7 nights without the father’s consent? Reason for this is I’ve booked a family holiday and he’s telling me he don’t consent to it all yet yesterday he wanted to get her passport and said he wanted to take her abroad on her first holiday then argued with me about that, and now isn’t giving me permission. I’ve got a history with this bloke he’s a narcissist I’ve been court to and have an undertakings as we agreed to it as I wanted a non molestation order but now he’s just giving me abuse this way and constantly threatening to take her from me. There must be a way round this? Anyone have any advice. It’s not kidnap if I’m booked to return back 7 days later this is what I don’t understand. He’s saying no to be spiteful and ruin mine and my three other children’s holiday.

You need to get permission from a judge but they usually give it.

how do I do that? Because he’s now using this against me when I want to go abroad with my children and have a family holiday

Do you have a Child Arrangement Order? If you have one of those in your favour, you can take your child overseas for 28 days without his consent.

If not, then yes you need his permission. If he won't agree, I think you'd need to raise a Specific Issue Order with court - I'm not sure if these can cover multiple future holidays.

No that’s another thing he keeps threatening me with taking me to court to get full custody because I’m unstable apparently 🙄

You need a specific issue order.

Google which is the right form, fill it in and hand it in with the right fee. You need to make sure there's something in the order about who keeps hold of the passports.

My ex did the same thing, the judge practically laughed him out of court. This behaviour is looked upon very poorly.

Yes, it is a child arrangement order you need. If you don’t have this, he could just pick your daughter up from school and not return her.

He’s just being nasty and spiteful honestly. I’ll do it the proper way though. I can’t have this all the time.

I need to apply for a prohibited steps order as well then. This is a joke honestly. Why are some men so nasty?

For much the same reasons that some women are so nasty.

I’m not sure if you need a prohibitive steps order. But if your ex is such a loose cannon, you really should have your residency and visitation schedule court ordered set in stone so he has no room messing you around. Did this not come up in the legal separation?

It’s just ridiculous all of this.

It might be but there is a clear way to sort this. The earlier you do it the better.

As others have said, specific issues order. There’s no way a judge will side with him, he’s being completely unreasonable.

I’d also get a CAO. Sooner rather than later.

I’m not taking him to court he can take me. He has been saying that he wants take me to court and get her full time and is constantly threatening me he can do that. I will apply for a prohibited steps order and this order so I can take her abroad.

But if you don’t have a CAO he can just pick her up and not return her and it could then take you a long time to get her back. I don’t understand why you aren’t more proactive in protecting your child.

Prohibited steps order stops that. It will be an urgent application to stop that crap too.

Sounds like my ex. He was so frustrating at every step.

The judge in my case 'upgraded' my specific issues order to a Residency order when I asked, which meant that it was noted that my DC live with me and I don't have to ask him whenever I go abroad. This may be different now (child arrangements order?) as it was quite a while ago...

Honestly it really is frustrating isn’t it? I’m going to apply for the specific order, I’m also applying for the prohibited steps order so that’s stops him just keeping her. He’s been mentally and emotionally abusive for 2 years. I didn’t get the non mole which is annoying but I had three hearings and I’ve been so low the last few months I just agreed with my solicitor for the undertakings but now he’s constantly harassing me and using our daughter as the means of doing it, the undertakings was granted last Tuesday it’s been a week and he has already started on me 5 times the first time wasn’t even 24 hours after the court hearing.

Your choices are

• go and potentially be stopped or arrested for

Child abduction

• leave child behind
• cancel trip
• apply to court for their permission to go with a specifics issues order

If you go to court for a child arrangement order to get a 'lives with' (which allows you to do holidays without his consent) remember that opens the door to him asking for anything he likes eg 50/50 full costody having child for a week over Xmas etc

@Unexpectedlysinglemum genuine question - how would they know (as in border control) that the parent doesn’t have consent? Not divorced so I don’t know

Firstly look up grey rock and don’t respond to anything with any emotion and only ever talk about child swap arrangements etc and yes get a CAO it will stop all this nonsense. I had to do the same. You can’t just leave the country with your DC.

Thing I don’t understand is I have all the proof it’s a 7 day holiday and I have a return flight home. How is it even classed as child abduction when I’m coming back. I cannot leave her behind because I have no one to have her it’s a big family holiday. If that’s the case then he can have her that week.

@Ph3 i was thinking exactly the same thing.

i have nothing arranged with my ex in terms of legal agreements for the kids and we by no means get along, but I’ve never been stopped or asked why I’m travelling alone with my kids 🤷🏼‍♀️

@1111111111111Bum well as I said not divorced but do travel with my kids on my own often to go visit my parents (and until recently on different nationality passports) and not once I have been stopped or asked anything.

This is a true point!! Also if I have proof I’m coming back how is that child abduction? I have proof I’m flying out the 4th and back the 11th and that I’m going with family and we land back home. Also my older kids go to school how can that be child abduction when I have a return flight back? 🤷🏼‍♀️ but the time he’s reported it and the police look into this I’ll be back surely? If they arrest me too they can also sort the child care out as I don’t have family and friends who can have my children while I’m being questioned about this bullshit.