Taking my daughter abroad without father’s consent.

[athenaswrath]

Hi,

Am I allowed to take my daughter abroad for 7 nights without the father’s consent? Reason for this is I’ve booked a family holiday and he’s telling me he don’t consent to it all yet yesterday he wanted to get her passport and said he wanted to take her abroad on her first holiday then argued with me about that, and now isn’t giving me permission. I’ve got a history with this bloke he’s a narcissist I’ve been court to and have an undertakings as we agreed to it as I wanted a non molestation order but now he’s just giving me abuse this way and constantly threatening to take her from me. There must be a way round this? Anyone have any advice. It’s not kidnap if I’m booked to return back 7 days later this is what I don’t understand. He’s saying no to be spiteful and ruin mine and my three other children’s holiday.

The only time I’ve ever been asked what my plans were for visiting a country was because I had a one way ticket and travelling on my own.

Not sure what your relationship is like with your ex, it does sound pretty toxic and my only advice is to be a bit more grey rock about these things 👍

Yes I’m going to have to with this prick. It’s very toxic he’s not a nice person and always wants to start and argue with me. Plays the victim all the time!

So, I might have misread, but he was talking about getting her a passport to take her on her first holiday abroad... but now you're the one taking her? Did you arrange it before and just not tell him, or did you want to be the first to take her abroad instead?

I guess they only stop you at border control if you've been reported for child abduction. But if things are difficult between you, he might do that?

I don't suppose the return flight matters much really, otherwise anyone who abducts a child could just take the child abroad and just say they have a return flight so it's fine for them to leave the country. Just because they booked a return doesn't necessarily mean they intend to bring them back.

@DaniO2

I booked it in march and told him after, he has known for a while I wanted to take her abroad because I’ve mentioned it a few times, he actually went and got her passport photo done for me but is still refusing to give me consent. It’s going to court and I will get the hearing date soon. He has recently told me he’s been gathering evidence for ages against me to get full custody and to prove I’m an ‘unstable’ mum. I’m going away with family too. I was told by my solicitor that unless I physically abuse my daughter then it’s very rare the judge will not allow me to take her abroad. I have never abused her or my other 3 children. He is just doing everything he can to disrupt my life and my plans. He has been awful since I created this thread with constant abuse, harassment and threats.

Are you documenting all of the abuse and harassment? Screenshots, diary etc,

@BackwiththeBang it’s all on a court approved app which we started using after our last court case. I have forwarded everything to my solicitors.

I hope it all works out for you, OP. Once you have the court's backing it will make it much harder for him to play these sort of games. But he sounds like a really difficult person to deal with. Like the person above said, keep a record of everything you can. Perhaps deal with him only in written conversations rather than verbal so you have a record of everything.

He sounds like my ex. I’m in Ireland so it’s a bit different obviously but it’s abuse all the same. We had a separation order and a divorce order and in both, it said that ex needed to sign any passport application forms for the children. So of course ex refused to do so. Had to bring him to court. The judge read out the part of the order saying he had to sign the passports and was so unimpressed with ex he made an order dispensing with his signature altogether! Mind you my ex is still suing the solicitors I had for the separation and the new lot of solicitors I had to get for the divorce as he was suing the first firm as he was unhappy with the settlement he got even though he had a solicitor and a barrister representing him through Free Legal Aid. He then started suing the Free Legal Aid board because they wouldn’t give him Free Legal Aid for his high court cases suing the solicitors! These cases are ongoing since 2015! He asked our youngest if she would go to court to see his latest case in action. So in effect he’s still abusing her as well. There was also an order made saying he was to stop discussing the court cases with the children! Sorry for ranting on your thread op but these yokes are everywhere😔

Forgot to say I ended up going to Women’s Aid where a lovely lady told me I was being abused through the court system and to just email my ex so there was a written record of everything.

Well what a shambles that court was! Absolutely diabolical and a complete shit show!

What happened?

I did get permission, but only because I rang the courts yesterday morning and asked if there was a hearing yesterday, if I hadn’t of done so I wouldn’t have known or attended because the courts failed to notify my solicitor about the hearing in the first place, in the end I could not attend due to short notice and not having child care, I have also not received the respondents response statement or his evidence that he provided. Is this negligence on the courts behalf? I feel something is very unfair here and the stress it all caused me yesterday was unreal.

Was your ex there? How did that happen?

They don't. Had no contact with my ex so never had his permission. No one said a word in 18 years other than once the children were asked who I was and they said I was mummy.

Yes my ex was there but I was blind to what he had said in response to my statement and evidence he provided. I went in blind because of the lack of communication between the courts and my solicitors. Like I said I almost missed my hearing because the courts never notified my solicitors of the date and time.